It's too bad I'm allergic to Nickel. A rant.

While perusing blogs as I am apt to do, I came across this post by my very pregnant (and beautiful! and talented! and lovely!) blog friend Alyx. She writes about the five questions that pregnant women do not want to be asked and yet, we always ask them.

And man, did it hit home for me. Not because I'm pregnant (I'm not pregnant!), but because I feel the same way about unemployment. If I had a nickel for the number of times I have ranted at Inspector Climate because I'm so angry that someone has asked me some numbskull question and made me feel bad about myself...well, I'd have a lot of nickels.

Anyway, here is my little rant about things people say to me as an unemployed person

1. "So, have you found a job yet?"
Yeah, I did and I just didn't tell anyone because you know, why would I share that VITAL piece of news with people who care about me?

2. "Oh you were able to [cook a big dinner] [go to yoga 5 times a week] [research for a weekend away] [whatever the thing may be] because you have so much time on your hands because you're unemployed"
First of all, I went to yoga five times a week when I worked full time, thank you. Secondly, yes, I do have a lot of time on my hands and I spend it mostly sitting in front of my computer scrolling job sites, thinking up new ways to get employed, and analysing what skills I actually have. It is a gruelling lesson in self-doubt, but I appreciate you making me feel guilty for filling my time.

3. "How's the job hunt?"
Terrible. Awful. Painful.

Wow. So, it looks like I've got some anger. The truth is I hate it when people ask me any of these things, they just make me feel like I'm failure for not having landed that elusive job. I was also talking to one of my friends who is also unemployed in Australia and we decided that finding a job is a lot like dating. There are long conversations that I have with friends that are essentially "What does this communication mean with this job person" Is it a good sign? Will they call me again? What do you think they meant by that?

There are the rejection calls "You're great! Really, it's just you know we want some one who has more experience than you" (this is actually very reflective of my dating life where I was often discarded for being a prude).

When I first was told that my contract wasn't being renewed it was very much a "Look, it's not you...it's us" situation

You constantly have to make yourself look appealing. How can I stuff my bra resume to make me look more impressive?

Anyway, the point is this. Be nice to your unemployed friends and don't ask them about the job search.

To the moon and back

I'm not sure why I'm writing this, only that I feel like I have to and since this is the place I write about feelings. This is it: my feelings. My family is struggling back in the states. My grandfather is fading quickly and my grandmother is not doing well. My parents seem stressed and I'm very far away from it all.

I skyped with my mom last weekend, she was at the nursing home with my grandfather while he slept. She passed her phone around and I briefly talked to my grandmother. "I love you" she said. And I said ... nothing.

I don't know what's wrong with me, but I've never been able to say "I love you" back to family members. Ever. It's not because I don't - I wouldn't be writing this post if I didn't, but I just can't force the words to come out of my mouth.

I remember being little and my grandmother would tell me that she loved me to the moon and back, to Mars and back, to Pluto (back when Pluto was a planet) and back. I would giggle and ask if she loved me out of this solar system and back. Yes.

I can only hope they know, know that even though I seem incapable of forming the words I'm thinking it, feeling it, breathing it.

Snap shot!

It occurred to me about two weeks ago that I hadn't taken a photograph with my iphone for...months. I've been trying to get back into the habit of snapping some shots of my everyday surroundings, which mostly occur on my walk to yoga.

This weekend, I went back to Inspector Climate's childhood home in Gippsland. It coincided with a yearly tradition of a mother's day parade. I've been to everyone the town has ever done, which is impressive because neither Inspector Climate nor his sister can boast the same.

Here are some pictures from the parade:

(Why yes, those are women dressed as Marge Simpson on lawn mowers).

Someone tried to tell me recently that autumn in Melbourne's eastern suburbs looks like the foliage we get in New England. To say I scoffed is an understatement.

I was trying to get a picture of Inspector Climate sleeping, but instead...I give you this. You're welcome.

How was your weekend?

I think overall we can assess that I'm feeling anxious

One of my favourite blogs, Why Girls are Weird, does a weekly series she calls 'currently' where by using the following headings she writes about what's news. Today, I'm stealing it. Also, my second article is up on the Green Steve blog, I'd love it if you'd pop over, check it out and say hi.



Thinking about: Decisions. On Tuesday I had a job interview for a pretty amazing job and opportunity. However, I'm afraid if I'm offered the job the decision of whether to take it or not will completely overwhelm me. It is an amazing opportunity, however it's only a 4 month job, I'd be unemployed again in October, it will not provide ANY work/life balance. Only all work all the time. And there is the possibility that I'd have to cancel my trip planned for going home in July. On the flipside, I'd be working for amazing people, on causes that I really care about, using social media to make a difference. 

Feeling: Anxious. I recently watched a West Wing episode where the Pres is freaking out because he can't see how it would end if he sent troops to retaliate for the killing of Americans in the Middle East. That's kind of how I feel, except you know, no one is going to die from my decisions (I hope). I hate making a decision unless I can see how it will all end, how will I feel, how is this going to work out? If I can't answer those questions, I just obsess over the decision. It's not healthy.

Watching: Inspector Climate and I are still watching West Wing together, we're in the sixth season. Yesterday, I wasn't feeling that well so I also watched some movies like High Fidelity (one of my favourite movies of all time).

Reading: I'm currently reading two books: The Boys of Summer by Roger Kahn is what I'm reading aloud to Inspector Climate. And then I just started, Nothing Daunted by Dorothy Wickenden.

Looking forward to: I really am ready to go home. After about 8 months of not being on the same continent as my family, I get desperately homesick. So I'm ready for July (we also just planned a short trip to Tassie and I'm so excited because we're going to drive down to the town that I hope we'll someday live in (even though neither Inspector Climate or I have ever been there, yet!)

Making me happy: Despite how anxious I am over the job decision, I'm happy and relieved that I got an interview, it's been months and I was started to get really discouraged.

In the language of sleep, hands are eyes and water is 'mary'

A few nights ago, I was awoken from a peaceful slumber by Inspector Climate sitting up in bed. My new go-to way to try to minimise the night time shenanigans and maximise my sleep is to immediately tell him that nothing is wrong and to lie back down.

This is usually met with Inspector Climate telling me quite rudely that he simply won't.

In fact, this specific incident a few nights ago he said "I will NOT, D" in a tone that he would never speak to me with if he was awake (because he is a gentleman and knows how to treat lady...).

He then held his hand up to his face and said "there is something in my eye."

"No there isn't"

"YES! There is rosewater in my eye." He then got up and went to the kitchen and turned on the light.

Then he came back to bed.

The next morning I asked him if he remembered this incident. He did! However, he remembered it quite differently. He thought he had rosemary in his hand and he couldn't get it off. Obviously, in the language of sleep eye means hand and rose water means rosemary. Duh.

Also, my advice, in case any one else is afflicted with the inability to get rosemary out of their hand, is to just let it go.

Norfolk Island Day 3 through Day 4

We've arrived at the last day and a half of our time on beautiful Norfolk Island. Monday (the Day 3) was our last full day on the island and it was ACTION PACKED, if by action packed I mean I was bored for some of it.

So I don't know if I've ever mentioned this but Inspector Climate plays golf and he used to play golf a lot. Like every day while he was in high school and university. I do not play golf. In fact, I think golf is...I'm going to just say it...boring. However, I love Inspector Climate so when he wanted to play golf I said I'd walk around the golf course with him. I took a lot of pictures to stave off boredom.

You know during the Australian OPen when they put the tennis ball right in the foreground? Well, this is my interpretation of that:

After golf, we took a swim and then had a picnic lunch by the water. Divine. Then, we went and checked out some of the ruins, and my camera took this very very blurry photo of us. Fantastic.

We then drove up to the second tallest peak on (at a staggering 320 metres) Here were 180 degree view in photographs. Although they're mostly sky. I could not help it!

That night we had booked a "Progressive Dinner" tour through Pine Tree tours. The tour brings you to three Norfolk Islander homes and they cook you a dinner from local produce grown on the island. This was an expensive tour (for the two of it cost more than the food for the rest of the trip), and honestly it wasn't worth it. First of all, we were, again, on a tour with people who were at least twice our age if not more. This gets particularly awkward when both you and your husband's jobs (or lack there of) revolve around climate change. See,  these retirees just could not grasp what we do. And since they are retired and weren't volunteering much information about they do/did it was just ... strange.

At one point during the main course, the man sitting next to me who unfortunately was very hard of hearing and could barely hear me speak, said "I don't want to start a fight with you, but...I really don't think Australia should be growing rice."

Um, what?

I told him that I completely agreed and he looked kind of smug and proud of himself.

Another man liked to just talk to Inspector Climate about me (even though I was right there).

"So what does the Missus do?" "What does the boss, there, think about that?" This made us both uncomfortable.

But the bigger problem wasn't that the company was a bit awkward, it was that the food wasn't that amazing. The food was good, and they catered for me - the gluten free vegetarian - which I greatly appreciated. But it wasn't worth the hefty price tag. I was pretty disappointed.

This is the last picture I took while we were in Norfolk Island. It was on our last day as we drove around the island looking for a pottery shop (we found it!) and checked out of our hotel and gave our rental car back.

So that wraps up our trip to Norfolk Island. What do you say that us young chickens take over the island with a big blogger meet up?

My week(s) in photos

It's been a while since I did my weekly photo recap, and there is a reason for that. I stopped taking photographs with my phone. I also don't go anywhere anymore. Ah, unemployment. But this past week, I made a point of trying to take a few more photographs than normal (>0).

While I had the flu, they cut down a tree that's on my route to yoga. I nearly cried.

We had a different kitty visitor a few days ago. His name is Percy (no, I did not name a stranger's cat, he had a name tag). He also does not have a tail. I apologise for the grainy-ness of these photos. It was twilight and Percy was on the move.

He tried to come into our house. I nearly opened the door for him, but he isn't very friendly. In the few minutes he tried to bite me and scratch me meanwhile meowing and rubbing himself against my legs. What's with the mixed messages, bro?

I tried putting coconut oil in my hair hoping it would tame the Jew 'fro. MAGIC.

Home made Gluten Cookies for Inspector Climate.

Our basil harvest for this year.

Pesto that I'm freezing for the winter. Me thinks it won't get us through all the cold dark months ahead.

What did your week look like?

Norfolk Island Day 3

Inspector Climate and I had planned an action packed day for Day Three in Norfolk Island.

In the morning, we went to the Norfolk Island craft fair to check out the goods. Unfortunately, I was pretty disappointed. I felt like most of the goods were really trinket-y and didn't seem that homemade. However, we did score some Norfolk Island chocolates which was important because it was Easter.

After the craft fair, we headed off into the national park to do some walking. People had been telling us that the walks were hilly and we should beware. But sometimes it's hard to tell, I mean we were the only tourists under 50 on the island so how hard could they be?

We started our drive and stopped off at puppy point. I not so secretly hoped they were giving away free puppies. They were not.

You'll come to see with my photos of Norfolk Island that I was rather obsessed with two things: the sky and the water.

Hey there's Inspector Climate checking out the possible landing spot of Captain Cook.

I learned how to use the self timer on my camera! Our world's change for ever.

This is one of the photos I took along our walk. It was very hilly. You know in the Lizzie Bennet diaries when she's at Pemberly and Darcy tells her the hills can be unforgiving. That is what I thought of this entire walk. The hills were...unforgiving, but so preeetty!

This is us at the half way point.

In Norfolk Island, cows legally have the right of way on the roads and people don't really fence them in so much as fence them out. These cows are just chilling by the side of the road and chewing cud by the ruins. You know, as you do.

Mist is pretty.

Inspector Climate and I rented snorkels and headed out into the reef. It wasn't the most exciting snorkelling I've ever done, but there were some rainbow coloured fish.

Just wait until the next instalment of this trip where we had a very interesting dinner...

Bits and bobs

I've been doing some freelance and my first post was just published on the GreenSteve blog. It's about how I got into the environment movement and why I'm not tired of fighting for safe climate future for us. I'd be absolutely tickled pink if you would check it out and leave me some love: Deidre on Growing Up Green.

Alright, so there is something that I'd like to run by you, oh esteemed blog readers and people of the blogging sphere, and that is sponsorship. I've been going through a bit of an existential crisis the past few days as job opportunities dwindle and my sanity went on holidays. That isn't really important here except that I've been doing a lot of thinking about what I can do that is productive that will fill in my time.

One of the things I came up with is actually filling in the pages on the home menu. It's been a long long time (2 years?) since I had this site redesigned and yet both my blogroll and my sponsor page are empty.

Then, I started thinking about what kind of sponsorship I wanted to offer and what makes most sense with my blog. My blog doesn't have the biggest following in the world, but it does have a committed following (hey, that's you!). I feel like people who read this blog know me, they're part of a community of people. We share recipes, good books (as a side note, should I do more of that?), photos of places I travel, and the heartache of being a perpetually unemployed expat. So seriously, what could I offer you?

I knew that first of all, it could only be blogs and/or products that I 100% fully endorse and make sense for the international crowd - as much as possible anyway - that hang out on Decoybetty.com.

Advertising that doesn't work for me is anything in the sidebar (although if you'd like to do a button swap with me, please let me know!), I never click on those. I'm most likely going to click, if it is an honest post reflecting the kind of blog that is advertising. For example, I imagine the posts would be something like this or like this - with more information about the blog, why I like it, etc etc.

But I have so many questions! Would anyone possibly pay money for this ($10 for a post + social media pimping)? Is it horrible if some people pay but I get inspired and do some for free? Do I have to tell people it's a sponsored post? Does it ruin the integrity of this blog? Is it worth the $20 or month I hope to earn from it? HELP ME. (and also if you're interested in doing some sort of sponsoring situation email me! decoybetty at gmail dot com)

Norfolk Island Day 2

It's hard for me to believe that a month ago I was squealing with excitement waiting for Friday to come so we could get on a plane to Norfolk Island. But it's the truth, yo.

Before I bore you with my vacation photos, let me share with you the few bullet points I jotted down regarding day two.

• Orientation tour - good orientation of the Bounty Mutiny. Drove through the ruins. Got to see the best spot for photos.
• Farmer's Market in the morning
• Nap
• Cooked dinner from local ingredients.

Could I be more helpful?

Let's talk about the Orientation Tour. The Tour was run by Pine Tree Tours (who are not sponsoring this post, by the way) and was included in the cost of the hotel. It took the whole afternoon and including afternoon tea. Not surprisingly, we were the youngest people on the tour by two decades, at least! 

The tour guide talked a lot about the island, the politics of being an external territory, and the history of how it was settled.

But I mostly have three main memories of the tour.

1. One of the first stops was a look out point from one of the roads where you could see the whole convict settlement. It was outrageously gorgeous.

This the beach where we went swimming and snorkelling.

2. The second memory was when I had tried to take a selfie of Inspector Climate and I, and failed. Badly. So, Inspector Climate urged me to ask someone else to take a photo of us instead.

So I asked some guy and well, he took his job VERY seriously. VERY SERIOUSLY. He first snapped this picture (below), but as I reached to take the camera from him, he was like "ok and now for some silly shots."

Now, if you know me (and I think we both know that you do), I love me some silly. However, I don't like to be TOLD when to be silly. To quote my brother. I'm not a freaking show.

So I tried to just ignore him and smile (notice Inspector Climate has no issues on being silly on command). But it became increasing clear he was not going to let up until silliness happened.

After driving around the island some more we stopped for tea and scones at an old farm house/plantation. One of the weirdnesses about our hotel was that they supplied enough toilet paper to last you for the first day or so, but after that you have to buy your own.

3. So my third most vivid memory is seeing a bunch of rolls of toilet paper in the farmhouse bath room and stealing one. Yeah. Who's a goody two (too?) shoes now? Huh? Huh?


And this picture is just for our own enjoyment. It was also not prompted by the "be silly" nazi, but is just Inspector Climate being Inspector Climate.