Thursday, November 15, 2007


On friday i went to the hospital to get a chest x-ray. After thinking i was lost for about 10 minutes, you know how hard it is to follow those Blue H's, I found my way to the Outpatient Reception. This is the first time i've been a patient in a hospital since i was one, my memories are, naturally, fuzzy of the experience. I am wearing blue khaki's and a grey button-down cardigan. My shoes you ask? My reddish brown danskos that since the weathers gotten colder i wear every day.

I sit down and give the receptionist all the information she asks for; insurance card, social security, address, reason for the x-ray, etc. She sends me down an empty hall and i wait for someone to come get me. A man in scrubs calls my name, and opens the door for me. he asks me why i am i need the x-ray, "i am immigrating to Australia" i say. He tells me to go behind a closed door and take off all my clothes and jewelry from my waist to my neck and put on the smock "opening in the back." I wonder who is foolish enough to think the opening goes in the front? I come out from the bathroom. The attendant rushes me to the x-ray machine, i wonder why we're in such a hurry, as far as i can tell; i am the only patient in the hospital.

He tells me to slouch my shoulders forward against a board. I feel like he is explaining Tyra's rules for being in a men's magazine (boobs out) versus a women's magazine (shoulders slouched forward). He presses against my back forcing me against the x-ray machine, and leaves the room. "Take a deep breath in, and hold he says." I breathe in, i expect my lungs ache but instead yoga has paid off. He says "let it out." he turns me, so my left side if facing the board, he tells me to be as flat against the board as i can and to put my arms above my head. "Another deep breath in, and hold it" says he. I hold my breath and hope that when i let it go i will fly away.

he tells me to go get dressed and sit down, and he'll bring in the results. I get dressed and am suddenly really nervous. Like, really really nervous. What if they find something? what if..."shut up" says my logical self. it doesn't take very long for them to develop the x-rays, and my guess that i am the only person there is confirmed. They bring them out to show them too me. Now there are two attendants. New Guy says, "you're really tiny." there's a long pause, "and it looks like you have slight scoliosis, did you know that?"


"Well, i don't see any signs of TB, i'll go have the radiologist fill out these forms, could you go sit outside please"


How anticlimactic. I wonder if Pre-Australia Lily would have gone alone, I wonder if she would have been nervous and scared. I wonder where she's gone.

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