Friday, December 28, 2007

Nudge Nudge: I'm Scared.

It's been a quiet few weeks home. Its hard to imagine, but i am still SICK. coughing and sad case of The Lazies. We celebrated Chanukah this year in Colorado, and thus had no energy or want for christmas. So unlike any other year, there was not a single decoration, a tree, presents - NADA.

I did have a weird-ass dream though. It started with me in the car with Mike, Jon, Geoff, and Moi. strangely enough, none of us were driving. The car was propelled forward by a mysterious force. That's all i remember. Why would i dream about these three guys? Guys i went to elementary school with and haven't seen for years? Oh subconscious you have me muddled.

In about a week and a half i am driving down to boston, getting on a plane and flying to LA. Where i will spend 3 days playing with my cousins, and then i will get on another plane, and immigrate to Australia. I AM MOVING TO AUSTRALIA. Where there are kangaroos, boys with accents, The Lounge, Melbourne Comedy Festival, Lix, Jessie, cheap sushi and expensive movies, St Kilda's beach, the Gardens! Supre! I can barely hide my glee - my utter happiness that i will get to spend time there, LOTS of time there.....(but) what if i can't find a place to live? what if my roommates don't like me? what if my classes are too hard? what if my grandparents die while i am away? my cat? my pony? what if i never get to snuggle with Chief again - the oh so soft hair behind his ears! What if, what if, what if?

Today my dad tried to install Leopard onto my laptop - it ended badly. Tres Badly. And i suddenly saw my life without my laptop alone in australia not being able to write papers or to talk to Bobo! And what kind of life is that? But as my laptop regained consciousness, I realized the inevitable truth, i am just scared. And i am admitting to it. In response to my stress about leaving home, i've taken to wanting to watch movies and tv shows that were part of my growing up. I long for Carrie Bradshaw and her sexcapades, I miss Chandler and Joey. I crave for seinfeld. And While Your Were Sleeping or anything with Meg Ryan. Anything that reminds me of home.


  1. lily! i can't believe it! you're already going to australia! you'll be quite close to my former roommates, they're in australia till march and have told me only the best!
    i wish you so much luck getting started and really hope everything goes smoothly for you! but seriously, why not europe??!!! guess i'll have to visit you in australia some day..too bad =)
    thinking of you! take care! Lisa

  2. Thank you Lisa!! I miss you so! please come to Australia! it'll be great fun!