Thursday, March 13, 2008

Embarrassing Moment, Episode 5012

I have half an hour before my class starts and today is... brutally hot does not begin to tell the temperature (as it can only be described as eightyseventy billion degrees) so I go early to the (air conditioned) lecture hall sweaty from my swing class. I sit down in the hall outside the theater. I look at my phone with love, admiring its sleek form and its apparant unlimited memory.

flashback to late January.
When I first got my phone, who by the way I've shown nothing but love for, Jessie being the doll that she is. Sent via bluetooth "My Humps" in case I ever decided I didn't have enough Fergie in my life.

Return to present.
My phone decides, in only a fleeting instant, that it hates my guts. It more than hates my guts - it is my sworn predestined (peach) enemy and it will turn the hearts of all the poor unknowing-of-Deidre-folk into haters as well. HATERS. So, logically, do you know what my phone does. Do you know? it starts screaming "my humps my lovely lady lumps" as loud as it can so that everyone in the world can hear it. Now, I press every button. I try combinations. But no. This star-crossed hater shall not be silenced. This peach atrocity will be heard. After turning it off - while it was still singing and everyone was staring - I stared at the phone. The phone stared back. For moment I believe I have won this round, but after looking around the room at the stunned silence I realize, one can't come back from this kind of thing.


  1. Featured on Good Mom/Bad mom on the Houston Chronicle:

  2. Uh, just so you know, my phone starting ringing "my Humps" while I was giving a presentation to a giant room of about 300 people, one of which was the director of the Human Genome Project.

    It rang three times before anyone could turn it off.