Friday, August 15, 2008

Mystery Gone

In an effort to open myself to what is possibly a new relationship, I told Not Daniel (turns out his middle name is Eric…how awkward for me) about this blog. It is the first time I’ve ever casually mentioned to someone that I’m dating that I have a personal website.

I was scared to tell him about this particular hobby because I was worried that I’d censor what I write here because I knew he’d be reading it. Well, that’s what I told myself.

Or (goodness!) even worse that I’d use it as a medium to write passive aggressive messages to him. Which is totally something I’d do. I’m completely uncomfortable talking to people about anything that means something to me. But when it comes to writing I have no problem expressing myself.

Which is why I love the text message. I get to write and communicate! No talking necessary! It’s a brilliant invention – I enjoy every second of it. If I had to call Not Daniel it would take 3 days of preparation to be brave enough to make the call. Literally, three days. By which time the thing that I wanted to tell him would have passed and I’d be left saying something like “A couple of days ago I saw a guy on campus with a chain saw, yeah totally American Psycho he was even wearing shoes! So um, good chat, bye!”

And obviously that he’d get a front row seat to how loony I am see how socks easily put me over the edge or Episode 5012 or my inexplicable love for I Love Money (seriously, how could they bounce Mr. Boston! why oh why!) or that I hadn't heard of jello shots until I was 17 AND I thought they were a strictly German phenomena until at least a year later.

So here is to not being passive aggressive, totally (ahem)...not freaking out over intimacy, and for embracing the freak flag - because honestly, who are we without it? I'd be just some chick who studies a lot and hates jeans, BORING. Cheers.