Thursday, September 04, 2008

A Potential E-mail to Bobo-Reis

Dearest Bobo-Reis,
Boredom: Part Infinite.

It's a beautiful day in Melbourne, Bobo-Reis. I'm sitting inside. Phantom Pete is not pleased with me today, much like I am not pleased with Mardy (Marty? I wish he'd make us his mind) Fish's performance against the spawn of Elvis and a gorilla - Nadal. I wish I didn't dislike Nadal so much. But boy does he irk me. It is so irrational to dislike someone who I don't even know as passionately as I dislike Nadal. Dude, why can't Elrilla lose? Let Blake's loss not be in vain!! Do you hear me Fish? Do you? Blegh!

What was I talking about? Oh, right. Phantom Pete. He hates me. Guess what I did this morning? Sat on the floor of the neon pink bathroom at uni while Phantom Pete threatened to ascend. True Story. I won't go into details. There is something comforting about bathroom floors though isn't there? It's where I've spent some of my finest moments - by finest moments I obviously mean worst hours of my life. Seriously, Fish cannot be trusted. He's down a break.

My imagination was working overtime while I chillaxed in the neon bathroom.

"I am going to have miss class tomorrow! I'm going to have to cancel my date with Not Daniel. What if he wants to take care of me? Oh, no. We can't have that! Say no to soup! Be calm woman. You're fine. Oh, the agony! Damn you Phantom Pete! Do you think anyone has noticed the strange girl in red shoes crouching in the corner of a stall? Gawd, I hope not. I want to go to my swing class! Say no to soup! Wait, why was I saying no to soup? I wonder if I'll get my ballot on time. This is when I wish I had twitter. I wonder if the boy's bathroom is neon pink. A girl can dream right? Phantom Pete, no one has time for this. I have to get out here...."

Fish had an opportunity to break back! He looked at it and ran away. RAN AWAY. Must I teach everyone everyone?

Lova you,
PS he's down TWO BREAKS. Nadal smells the finish - it's going to be all over.
Mardy Fish - when it comes to matters of the heart, you do not understand me at all.


  1. *blink*


    *steps out to light a cigarette*

    LOL. Want some of my FDA-Approval-Pending candy? :)

  2. hmm, what an offer - no I think I'll just retreat to the bathroom floor.

  3. Been there, done that. I always make it a point that my bathroom floor is clean to surgical precision. I've discovered that despite popular belief, alcohol and chocolate do not help over the long term. But sunshine always cheers me up. That and animals.

    Maybe a trip to the zoo?

  4. YAY for Marty Fish..... not so yay for phantom pete attacking the one and only decoy-betty.