Wednesday, April 01, 2009

The Incomplete Story of a Boy Named O

The first guy I talked to on this dating site was a boy, strangely enough, not named O. But immortally, here, he shall be referred to as O (possibly "O, no he didn't" or "O my god!" "O seriously?"). O was normal. He didn't ask me to partake in a threesome. He waited a reasonable amount of time before asking for my number. He was into music scene in Melbourne. He was 23.

I gave O my number and we'd text. A lot. He even called me once. Our text sessions weren't all flirting and games. Sometimes we'd talk about meaningful things like my deep long standing relationship with denial - O was concerned that he could never compete with denial for my love, he was right. During our first textathon, he asked me this: "what are you looking for in a guy?"

I gave a standard answer one that involved a sense of humour, isn't boring, and blah blah blah.

O set up a date for last Friday and then promptly cancelled it a few days later because he got sick. We rescheduled for a later date. I wasn't totally thrilled about seeing him anymore because have I mentioned that I swallowed a bunch of butterflies and fell joyously in crush with someone else? But Someone Else has been slow to meet up with me; and I felt it was only fair to give O a shot.

On Saturday, O texts me again and later says "what are you looking for in a guy." "i'm looking for someone who makes me laugh, is passionate about something, challenges me to think outside of my own paradigm, to try new things"...

On Sunday, O asks me what I'm looking for in a guy. "Someone who doesn't ask what a girl is looking for all the time."

By the end of the weekend, I am bored of O. But don't you fret, dear internets, O wouldn't let us down. On Monday, he comes through to ask again.

But on Tuesday, O has decided he doesn't want to meet me anymore. "Its not you," he claims. He is battling with depression and feels that meeting new people isn't something he's up for at the moment...maybe in a few weeks says O. Perhaps the lamest excuse? Or perhaps the truth - I don't mind giving him the benefit of the doubt, saves me from having to break up him for being a repetitive bore.

He did help me narrow down what I am looking for:

You know that couple on the tram? The young couple turned towards each other and probably holding hands. If not the boy's hand is on her leg or arm or perhaps playing with a strand of her hair that has fallen out of her pony tail. She is blathering on about some nonsense that no one cares about like choosing a colour of nail polish when she went and got a manicure 3 years ago with a friend named Jozelyn. But the boy is listening to every word. She has his full attention. That's what I want, a guy who is enraptured with my stupid stories.

Well, that, and the feeling you get when you're in a crowded place and a boy's arms are around you and you feel inexplicably safe. Like no one could push you over (even if, in reality, they could).


  1. O sounds a bit weird. What was the deal with him asking the same question over and over? Did he think he was being clever?

    I love your description of what you want in a man though. Just someone who's INTERESTED. I've never had that from my husband. It has taken me a long time to be okay with it. I think that's what most of us want...someone to love and appreciate us.

  2. I think one of the Duggar boys would be good for you. I just saw one of their shows last night and Mr. Duggar was coaching the oldest boy (about to be married) on the importance of listening to his wife. Wives luv to share details, he said. Those Duggar boys... they'll be good husbands.

  3. Dina - I think he was trying to seem interested and get me talk about my feelings...regardless ugh! Aww, yeah, I am captivated by you!

    Chris - hmm, I have no idea what you're talking. Duggar boys? I'm all about the details though.

  4. O is a bit odd. I thought the punchline was going to be him telling you that he's actually not what he had led you to think he was (ie decades older, not into women, etc).

    I too want a guy who'll LISTEN...and remember what I'm saying. I want to feel like even when I'm not there, I'm on his mind, or that things remind him of me. And if he remembers something said by me in passing and suprises the heck out of me with this knowledge weeks or months later, well, be still my heart.

    Oh, and I'd like a guy who's fond of touching, little touches that make you think, awww, not public fondling or groping!

  5. I hear ya Jummy! Like a hand on the small of your back when you cross the street together. Or pushing some hair out of your face (a constant problem for me) -- And with the listening, it'd be nice to know that they're thinking about us the same amount we think about them. I'm all HOW SMITTEN IS HE?