Sunday, June 21, 2009

It's just so clearly Coco-the-Stripper

Before I left for the U.S.

Mr. Slurpee got me drunk. It's not totally his fault, I mean I drank the sake. But still, while I take full responsibility for the drinking, I hold him accountable for what happened later. HE is the one who made up the fake rules which I irrational abide by AND I find him nearly impossible to say no to. Lethal combination. So while the world spun ever so slightly, and my cloudy mind didn't think as quickly as I would've liked, I brought up my website which I never would've mentioned if I hadn't been under the influence. To barter the information out of me, Mr. Slurpee lifted up his shirt to reveal a bandage. When asked what happened to him he'd only reply, "tell me the name of your website first"...hah! As if.

Mr. Slurpee mentioned he had frequented a Men's Club the Friday before. Whatever - I always thought I'd find it unbelievably disgusting, but it turns out I just thought it was seedy and gross. Who knew? Not the point. The point is...

When I sobered up and got to thinking, I realised that there are several possibilities as to the cause of Mr. Slurpee's bandaged abdomen.

1. Mr. Slurpee got handsy with Coco the stripper and she stabbed him with a fork (I obviously picture Mr. Slurpee eating at the Men's Club...he didn't specify). That's what you get for fondling strippers.

2. Appendicitis

3. The Japanese restaurant he frequents has swords (I say this with certainty, but I have no idea) and after too much sake, he and a mate got into a fight which ended in Mr. Slurpee being impaled by said sword. Unfortunate.


  1. Maybe he had hernia surgery.

    Did you tell him about your blog? I'm thinking [hoping] you weren't THAT drunk...

  2. Chris - That is a possibility. We've talked about hernia's before (and his bandage wasn't located in hernia territory - I know - because I've had a double).

    I didn't tell him the address.

  3. err... wouldn't it be more significant if it were a japanese sword fight? just a thought.

    and good that you didn't give him the address (and don't use your real name, hehe) ;)

  4. Rhea - I know, right! It's true a sword may cause a bit more damage - maybe impaled was too strong a word. Pricked? Regardless, it was SO Coco-the-Stripper.

  5. Stabbed with a fork. Totally stabbed with a fork.

    Or maybe a spoon. I bet it was a spoon.

  6. Burn - Or maybe it was a spork! I bet that would hurt like a mofo! It's what he deserves for being all handsy :)