Thursday, August 06, 2009

The Hair Gauge: Cute Boys Apatow and Tennis Style, That's Just How I Roll

Hair means a lot to me, and not just my own hair in its whimsical 80s glory, but men's hair. Mr. Slurpee got a hair cut (and it's hot...) and Bobo asked me to describe it to her and the only way I could was tell her it was about a Ted Mosby on the hair hotness scale. But this raised other questions who else is on the hair hotness scale? How does one gauge? With further discussion and much arguing (that's a lie)...I give you...

THE HAIR HOTNESS SCALE. Buckle up, kids, it's going to be awesome. The scale ranges from 10 to 0. 10 being The Motherload of Hot. And zero being...well, you'll see.

The 10 being: Fernando Verdasco. Tennis player. Hottie. The only man who could woo me away from James Blake. Bonus points because he makes me want to sing Abba...FERNANDO...there is something in the air tonight the stars are bright...(All together now)...Fernando they were shining there for you and, no one else, ahem ONWARDS.

He recently got rid of his faux hawk and perhaps has gotten hotter, no one saw this coming, but the world rejoiced.

Now coming in on a 8.5 is Ted Mosby (aka Josh Radnor) of How I Met Your Mother...

Don't you just want to rumple his hair?

Coming in at 7 is an interesting case of James Blake. Who with no hair has wooed the hearts of many, or just me(?), sometimes baldness is hot. I think the lesson to be learned here is having a hot head of brunette hair is less important that rockin' what you got. I hope you're takin' notes fellas 'cause I am laying down some knowledge.

HOT DAMN is that man foxy. It's just we're so happy together it's hard court season, so he can start winning again.

Now this is where things get out of order and confusing there is Jason Segel (ok, so look, my love of all things tennis and all things related to (even obscurely, like Ted Mosby through Segel - my mind is a twisted place) Judd Apatow are heavily highlighted in this particular Hot Hair Gauge...It can't be helped. I am prejudice!). I adore him. But is he a 5.5 because he has had pretty damn good haircuts?:

Or a three because he has made some bad, bad, BAD choices (which we've all made mistakes...I mean I brushed my hair all through high school! - it was bad, no I don't want to talk about it) and refuses to go back to his cute self? How much does potential awesome count versus insanity? These The Big Hair Questions (BHQ).

No one wants that. Look, he's still adorable, but THE HAIR IS NOT FLATTERING.

Now there is a range from about a 3 to a 6 where the fellas are rockin' their hair but it can be touch or go - you know the average range - bad hair days ensue. Guys like (le sigh) - Roger Federer, Marat Safin, and Seth Rogen:

Rolling down to 1 is ... Look, I know you've seen this coming, but Rafa Nadal. The Monkey himself. Now, I'll be honest, longish hair on men doesn't do it for me, and I dislike Nadal, BUT! In my defence, I did try to pick a picture where Nadal was showing slightly more of his human attributes versus his primate ones, and one where his hair didn't look greasy. Also, the picture is one where The Fed Ex also has a questionable 'do (my brother calls it flock of seagulls, I think that's a little harsh) Furthermore, the persistence of Nadal's to keep a cut which is not at all flattering ranks him at the bottom of the leaderboard:


I believe no words are needed.


  1. Oh RAWR. But where is the other UBER hottie from how I met your mother?

    The man I will freaking SCARE straight? Neil Patrick Harris.

  2. Kelley - NPH, He be a nine for sure. Yeah, he is a slice of adorable. And has good hair. No, well played. :)

  3. Ok the picture of Carrot Top just scared me. I'm 100% with you on the baldness. It is hot but the guy needs a nice head and confidence about the fact that he has a completely bald head. I have fallen for many a bald man.

  4. That's a LOT of hair! You can pick 'em, fun girl. :-)

  5. Standing ovation!!!!!!
    Now I always enjoy your posts but this one is an A+.

    I peed myself laughing. Great post.

    James Blake IS all MINE!!!!

    You called Nadal a monkey: *giggle*
    Caret top is a freak of nature.

  6. Meg - Carrot Top scares me too. Exactly, it's about working what you got (which by the way is the moral of step up 2 the streets and I think we can all attest to that movie's faboulousness).

    Chris - Never underestimate the power of hair. :) - As Melanie Griffith says in Working Girl: if you want to be taken seriously, you have to have serious hair.

    Donut Girl - Thank you! Look, I always said I would never fight over a boy with friends. But James Blake and I have been pretty serious for a while and I think you should back off...but if you insist, I guess I'll let my inappropriate feelings for Verdasco develop.

  7. It's just that Fernando is HOT!!! And so is Ted Mosby (of Mosbius designs)!

  8. Fernando's only problem is that he is hot, so true Becky. I'd ask him to remedy the situation - but some, including me, like it hot.

  9. It was all good until I got to the last photo. And then I threw up in my mouth.

  10. Most Men only think about clothes and shoes when talking about style. Hairstyles are usually forgotten. However, nowadays there are many hairstyles not only for women, but for men too.