THE HAIR HOTNESS SCALE. Buckle up, kids, it's going to be awesome. The scale ranges from 10 to 0. 10 being The Motherload of Hot. And zero being...well, you'll see.
The 10 being: Fernando Verdasco. Tennis player. Hottie. The only man who could woo me away from James Blake. Bonus points because he makes me want to sing Abba...FERNANDO...there is something in the air tonight the stars are bright...(All together now)...Fernando they were shining there for you and me...no, no one else, ahem ONWARDS.
He recently got rid of his faux hawk and perhaps has gotten hotter, no one saw this coming, but the world rejoiced.
Now coming in on a 8.5 is Ted Mosby (aka Josh Radnor) of How I Met Your Mother...
Don't you just want to rumple his hair?
Coming in at 7 is an interesting case of James Blake. Who with no hair has wooed the hearts of many, or just me(?), sometimes baldness is hot. I think the lesson to be learned here is having a hot head of brunette hair is less important that rockin' what you got. I hope you're takin' notes fellas 'cause I am laying down some knowledge.
HOT DAMN is that man foxy. It's just we're so happy
Now this is where things get out of order and confusing there is Jason Segel (ok, so look, my love of all things tennis and all things related to (even obscurely, like Ted Mosby through Segel - my mind is a twisted place) Judd Apatow are heavily highlighted in this particular Hot Hair Gauge...It can't be helped. I am prejudice!). I adore him. But is he a 5.5 because he has had pretty damn good haircuts?:
Or a three because he has made some bad, bad, BAD choices (which we've all made mistakes...I mean I brushed my hair all through high school! - it was bad, no I don't want to talk about it) and refuses to go back to his cute self? How much does potential awesome count versus insanity? These The Big Hair Questions (BHQ).
No one wants that. Look, he's still adorable, but THE HAIR IS NOT FLATTERING.
Now there is a range from about a 3 to a 6 where the fellas are rockin' their hair but it can be touch or go - you know the average range - bad hair days ensue. Guys like (le sigh) - Roger Federer, Marat Safin, and Seth Rogen:
Rolling down to 1 is ... Look, I know you've seen this coming, but Rafa Nadal. The Monkey himself. Now, I'll be honest, longish hair on men doesn't do it for me, and I dislike Nadal, BUT! In my defence, I did try to pick a picture where Nadal was showing slightly more of his human attributes versus his primate ones, and one where his hair didn't look greasy. Also, the picture is one where The Fed Ex also has a questionable 'do (my brother calls it flock of seagulls, I think that's a little harsh) Furthermore, the persistence of Nadal's to keep a cut which is not at all flattering ranks him at the bottom of the leaderboard:
I believe no words are needed.