Monday, August 17, 2009

Hit the road Jack, and don'tcha come back no more no more no more no more...

Over the weekend, Mr. Slurpee and I had the long time coming heart to heart about what we were doing. And as it turns out, what I thought we were doing and what he wants were very different things. Very. Different. How awkward.

At first I sighed in a resigned way like "Yeah, I should have seen this coming." But as I told Rhea what happened, I got angry, there was no way I could've seen this coming! And then, I cried. I cried myself to sleep and woke up with swollen eyes and a headache from dehydration. But I don't want to be angry with him, I don't want to remember him through questions of "WHY WHY WHY", but of the amazingness that was him.

And so:

I adore that he used to call my freckles chocolate chips as he kissed them.

I like how he had to be touching me if we were sitting on his oh-so-comfortable-couch whether it was just his leg resting against mine or pulling me towards him so I was snuggled against his chest.

His couch was awesome. It was the thing I looked forward to most after my long flight from LA. Knowing he was going to pick me up at the airport, and bring me back to the couch, where I could finally be supine.

He wasn't afraid to break me - and I appreciate that, sort of - and I mean that in a wrestling, tickling kind of way.

He always remembered all of my food allergies and occasionally made up some extras.

He sang in the car and sometimes seat danced.

I loved that he called me "fro puff" or "my little fro puff."

His favourite 80s song is "Uptown Girl."

He had the hottest name I've ever heard--hotter than James Blake, impossible you say? I wish I could tell you his name, I mean, seriously hot. Whenever I'd tell one of my girlfriends about his hot name they'd be all "yeah, yeah" and then I'd say it and the response was inevitably "Wow, that is a really hot name."

He thought I was a red head - and perhaps this should've been a sign of insanity, but gawd, I've always wanted to be a red head.

I love how he hugged me when he was wearing his big winter jacket. He'd put his hands in his pockets and open the jacket up so I could snuggle against his body and then wrap the jacket around us both - Mark Darcy Style in Bridget Jones - I've never felt so safe.

He made me want to say yes, even though I still usually said no, he made me want to be the girl I always thought I'd be. And in a way, for a brief moment while we talked, I became her: I said words I've never said. And I did things I normally wouldn't do.

Mr. Slurpee, I know it's over. But I can't help it that I'm a bit in like with you.

17 comments:

  1. Awww :( This is so sweet. Mr. Slurpee obviously doesn't know what he's missin.

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  2. That great philosopher, Frank Sinatra sang;
    'The best is yet to come and won't it be fine?'

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  3. Awww was my first reaction to this post too. I'm sorry.

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  4. That realisation is hard. That you both are not on the same page.

    I hope Mr Even Hotter Name is on the horizon.

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  5. I'm sorry to hear about Mr Slurpee (which is a great name in itself, btw.)

    I like it that you're focusing on the positive aspects of your time with him. Every relationship teaches us more about who we are and what makes us happy. Here's hoping the next guy has all you need, plus a puppy!

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  6. What?! I did not see this coming! I'm sorry. My first reaction was to call him a d-bag or something, but I guess I can't after that post.

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  7. Maggie May - Thanks. It's much more than he deserves ;)

    Twisted Susan - ahhh, Franky Boy. He speaka the truth

    Jummy - Thanks!

    Kelley - Me too! I am telling you though, No one has a name this hot.

    Carla - Thanks for the well wishes, I am trying to stay positive. Although, I'm pretty angry today.

    Bridget - he is a douchebag - Top Quality Grade A. Douche.

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  8. Crappity, crap, crap, CRAP. I'm sorry, kitten. You miss him. :-( I agree with Kelley... Mr. Even Hotter Name must be around the corner. I bet he even has a comfier couch.

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  9. Z. O. M. F. G.

    I am EVER so sorry for you, D!

    A.) He is a total douche

    B.) His name will probably be *bleh when he gets older

    C.) I wish I had been keeping up to date. :( I'm sorry for being a bad bloggy friend. :(

    Want to take a vacation in Manila? The Teddybear and I would LOVE to show you some hot men in our city. :)

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  10. who needs a slurpee in the wintertime, anyway. Get thee a warm cup of coffee or a cup of hot cocoa. And btw, was looking at your haircut classifications and scratching my head a bit. I've never thought about the hotness of men's hair (though clearly I should). Also, I brushed my curly hair all through Jr. High, and know the terror. The new snippity looks good!

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  11. Chris - Aw, thanks. Mmm, A comfier couch you say? OK, I guess I'll keep looking.

    Burn - YES I DO. I'd LOVE to come to manila!

    Eileen - Oh, the hair cut can make it or break it ;) YAY! Another curly haired soul!

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  12. Please feel free to outsource all the angry feelings to your blog readers, it looks like we can cover that for you. Because he is obviously a jackass! And there's no way you could have known! Damn that loser!

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  13. mr slurpee is obviously an idiot. but i'm glad you can remember this in a good way. that's the best way to heal. taking the positive and making it yours :)

    you are so much more mature than i am :-P

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  14. Mr. Slurpee. It makes me want to ...
    Hmm. Never mind. I'm sorry it doesn't seem you want the same things right now. : (

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  15. Skye - Considered my anger outsourced! LET ME FEEL YOUR WRATH INTERNET (or we could just get together, eat icecream and egg his house).

    Rhea - Yes, Mr. Slurpee is a bit of a dimwit; Aw, I am definitely not more mature than you!

    Twenty Four - Thank you, I am sorry too.

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  16. It sucks when people don't follow the same path and have to go their separate ways.

    He certainly gave the right signals so I understand why you thought what you thought. Does that make sense?

    As long as you don't let this keep you out of the love game, you will be fine.

    "well baby, listen baby, don't ya treat me this-a way
    Cause I'll be back on my feet some day."

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  17. Sorry, I know I'm very late in leaving a comment, given that it's been a couple of weeks (which you seem to have handled brilliantly, by the way). The very things that you appreciated in Mr. Slurpee were the opposite of red flags - all very relationshippy. Yes, we can always look back and see clues that all was not right with the world, but honestly, I think you had every reason to expect more. You were a yes person with Mr. Slurpee, and that's a great thing. That's his legacy. Take that with you, don't let that go!

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