Tuesday, September 01, 2009

"She's my man, and we've got all the balls we need"

Today is the first day of spring. Happy Spring!

On Sunday, I had another first date. I got there a bit early, as I do, and was sitting on a bench waiting for him. There was an old, and more importantly majorly creepy, man who was sitting at the very end of said bench, and so I sat my behind as far away as I could. I looked up and noticed in a store window that my curls were askew. As I tried to make them stop defying gravity (embrace gravity, people!), the creepy old man started talking to me about how my hair looked fine and I shouldn't fret. I thanked him, and took out my phone hoping that we could sit in quiet. He stood up and walked, haltingly, around the bench and then moved to sit a mere foot away from me.

I am not proud of it, but this was the first thing that I thought of: "OH MY GOD, He SAID HE WAS OLDER BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS, THIS CANNOT BE HIM." Yes, I am irrational. The 30 year old guy I was supposed to meet was not, in fact, the 300 year old man next to me.

Anyway, the date happened, and for the first time I think the guy was way more nervous than I was. So nervous in fact, he spent a good 15 minutes telling me I looked like Shaun White.

A tip: when trying to get into a girl's pants heart don't tell her she looks like a male - particularly an unattractive one - unless you want her to think you like men. In which case, WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE.


  1. Hee hee, you're tooo funny. That guy doesn't look so bad!! Will you be seeing this one again?

    So depressed it's your first day of Spring - it's our first day of Autumn which would be OK but we haven't really had a Summer....

    Are you sure the 300year old was that old? Not in his, uhm, forties, say?

  2. Seriously. That is the only photo I have ever seen of Shaun White and I can say with all honesty that you look nothing like him. You're WAY hotter and I'm not even trying to get in your pants, er - heart!

  3. You don't look like Shaun White! [He's a good looking kid, but not in a feminine way.] You're beautiful and your date was just nervous. :-)

  4. But if Sean White WERE a girl, he'd have great hair.

  5. Selina - he was 70+. Um, I don't know if I will or not.

    Ev Rev - haha Thank You! The nonresemblance is uncanny.

    Chris - yes, he was just nervous. And Thank you!

    Bridget - TOTALLY GOOD HAIR - if he was a girl. Imagine how'd good it'd look if he was rockin' the Fernando Faux Hawk?

  6. :-) You are too funny!
    The guy was feeling so nervous, he didn't know what he was saying. You don't look like Shaun White at all.

  7. That is SO funny. Not the best way to get started. How did the rest of the date go? Or did that comment ruin it on the spot?

  8. DDG - Thank you for the confirmation! :)

    24 @ Heart - Um, it was ok. No real chemistry, I'd have liked it to be easier.

  9. haha.... You inspire me to try the Online dating thing again. If only just to have good stories again.