Friday, September 18, 2009

There are somethings with which we are good at, and there are somethings which we are not.

I give good backrubs.

I write fabulous letters (which include fuhilarious stick figure cartoons).

I make good tofu (no trust me! it's delish! - Stop, I know you think it can't be done. But it can. I can do it!)

I apply sunscreen like well someone who gets burned at night time (for the record that's good at applying sun screen and good at getting burned).

However, I am not good at learning new things. Which is kind of a lie. I've learned a ton of new things, but there is a process to which I learn new things. I dislike this process and for the first time I recognise it as just that. A Process.

Step 1. Flip The Fuck Out (Did Deidre just use the F word? has that ever happened before? probably not...that's how much I flip, y'all)

(blog quiz...can I pull off "y'all"? My gut says no...)

Step 2. Cry. A. Lot. For example, twelve times I cried on Wednesday. Twelve. After five, I had to start counting because seriously. Twelve times. Suffice to say, I looked like a hottie puffy-faced-swollen-eyed-mess by the time I crawled into bed. Twelve: In the Library: Check! In the Library again: Check! In a different Library: check! Walking between libraries: check! IMing Bobo: check! Telling John-the-Beatle: Check! Telling Rhea: Check! In class: check! And I could go on, but let's face it you get the point. It was a snot fest of epic proportions.

Step 3. Cry while proceeding to achieve New Thing.

Step 4. Become so stressed out about New Thing that I have stress dreams, may lose weight, and become an emotional zombie. Also, embrace hermit hood.

Step 5. Achieve New Thing.

I'm still on Step 2 of The Process. It's not enjoyable. In fact, all I want to do right now is cuddle. Cuddle with me? We can watch When Harry Met Sally and eat popcorn I'll give you a back rub if you give me one. And Then I'll tuck under your arm and we'll snuggle? Snuggle with me? I beg of you! Seriously, I ain't too proud to beg.

9 comments:

  1. Oh baby! I do feel for you. Just cry it out. It's part of the process and there's a lot more to come. Believe me, I know. But it will get better. It will ....

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh darlin, I am sorry. But one good thing is that at least you KNOW the process. Some people never even understand the meaning of the WORD "process". I feel kinda bad for them. ;) Me, I am eating a chocolate chip cookie smeared with peanut butter and M&M's before breakfast. This is NOT part of the process. But DAMN it's yummy. (You should try it!)

    Also? You TOTALLY get away with "Y'all". *Hugs!*

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow, this sounds just like me. (See: every time I ever tried to learn to drive stick. Oh, the tears. Oh, the tantrums. Oh, the woe.) I'm wondering what your thing is. The fact that it can be done in a library should narrow it down, but hmm... linear algebra? Anyway, good luck. You'll get there.

    ReplyDelete
  4. We can definitely snuggle or cuddle. In a non lesbian way, right? Oh, what the heck, pass the popcorn please :)

    I hope you achieve step 5 soon. And you can say fuck as many times as you like.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Selina - Thank you. there shall be crying!

    Ev Rev - I ate a giant bag of peanut m&ms last night (you know one of the jumbo bags)...also not part of the process. But it hit the spot! :)

    Diary of Why - Actually, it has nothing to do with libraries! It'll come out eventually, promise!

    DDG - oh, in a total non-lesbian way (not that there is anything wrong with that). :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Wow! you could make any GOOD MAN happy! Don't worry about the others their jerks.
    Sorry we can't help with the process...this too shall pass...#:-)

    ReplyDelete
  7. You are a sunblock applier extraordinaire! As well as a letter writing goddess! With amazing stick figures to boot (no one says that phrase enough!) I too am not good at learning good things, and part of my process is iming you! It's just that we're like the same person!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anon - A good man, eh? Well, thank you - I hope so.

    Becky - mwah! It's just that you get me/

    ReplyDelete
  9. I can't believe you said, "fuck". I think I like it though. Looks good on you. :-)

    ReplyDelete