Thursday, November 19, 2009

It's Movember, bi-atches. Or a commentary about tedophile?

It's Movember and guys around Victoria (Australia? who knows) grow 'staches to raise money for cancer or something. Look, I can't be bothered with specifics. And I routinely forget about this and then I am all "wow, that dude should not be growing a 'stache...not a good look. I mean really bad. wow. Bad. Wow." And then I remember ten minutes later about Movemeber and I want to go slap him on the back and congratulate him for his good deeds. I am nothing if not fickle.

I am saddened to say that there is not a lot of mutton chop growing going on, this is a tragedy. Who doesn't like mutton chops? I ask ya. Also, I have consulted the Expanded Facial Hair Types Chart (I do my research)...

Do people not grow asymmetrical facial hair? Imagine how awesome that'd be!

I call him "Bald Man with Asymmetrical 'Stache and No Mouth" - it's a little wordy, but not only am I fickle, I am rather verbose! And it only took me like 15 minutes to make him on powerpoint...(I don't think I have a future in web design).

I realise this look might take more than a month - but dudes, it'd be worth it. Check out that wingspan! What I find most disturbing about this photo - besides everything - is that chest that even chest hair? Is that shag carpeting? Oy vey!

Then we have an elephant in a top hat and spectacles, nice tusks! And his strange creepy friend who looks as if he may or may not take advantage of that teddy bear he's holding...with gloves don't want no teddy bear pressing charges (even a be-'stached teddybear...)...

Wow - this post took a turn for worse. I'm sorry. I don't know what happened.

Tell me about your Mo's? Or your relationship with The 'Stache? Or your favourite type of 'stache? Tell me something? I beg you?


  1. Whoa, one of my students walked into class today with a creepy little 'stache going! Do you think that could be why? Do people do that in the States too? I'm baffled by the whole thing.

  2. Don't like 'em! My father has always had one, and I love him so much, but not on men I've been involved with. And mutton chops? EW! Have those even been worn since the Bronte sisters were alive and writing? You know what I do like tho? 5 o'clock shadow. Oh yeah, that's sexy.

  3. Diary of why - this is actually something I meant to ask! Do they do this in states, I had never heard of it in the US? I, too, am confuzzled.

    Susan - I don't like them either, my dad has one too and likewise I adore him...but on others. Mutton chops just make me giggle. they're silly! I like when guys rock them ironically.

  4. OOOOH PLEASE, NO MORE. Sorry but I don't like men with facial hair, women neither when I think about it. Footballer David Beckham has gone all hairy on us and where Beckham goes many seem to follow. Never mind having their legs/chests/backs waxed for charity, this lot should be having their faces done. Yuk.

  5. I'm partial to the handlebar mustache. There's something classic about it!

  6. My husband is not allowed to shave his 'stache off because it makes him look 17 and he's WAY (way) older.

  7. Petty Witter - I, too, am very against facial hair, but they are doing for prostate cancer research...noble indeed!

    Scrambled Jill - Fair enough.

    Linlah - Baby facedness doesn't do it for you?

  8. I feel very uncomfortable talking about facial hair - it makes me squirm!!! Ughhhh!

  9. - I have recently come to love a bit of facial hair, but only grown in a shaggy hipster beardy kind of way. You'd be surprised how many europeans cannot grow proper facial hair!!

    - My stepfather had a mustache (to go with his mountain man beard) and he didn't love me so I associate them with being unloved. You know, like you do.

    - As for MUTTON CHOPS. Whew. Ridiculous. But I once knew a gorgeous guy who played a MEAN fiddle and had the most beautiful arms and for some reason he made his chops look SO COOL.

    And that is my rant about facial hair.

  10. No facial hair please. I'm a 'federation standard style' kind of girl. Doesn't it tickle when you kiss someone with a stache? Anyone?....

  11. Selina - I hear you! I am not a huge fan (as is well documented on this site) but gotta embrace Movember.

    Ev Rev - I am all for facial hair rants.

    DDG - I don't know from experience; but in general I am anti-mo.

  12. They DO do this in states! Some places. It's more popular with college students, I suppose. We call it "Brovember." The guys are not supposed to shave at all for the whole month of November. It's kind of funny to see who can last the whole month and who can't. :] They don't do it for any special cause, though. I wish they did! Did it originate in Australia?

    And personally, I dig the facial hair. I had a neighbor who had the FINEST pair of mutton chops I have ever seen in real life.