Wednesday, December 09, 2009

I have an embarrassing confession to make...

But before I get to that, since when do cobblers charge $25 to do anything? The cobbler I used to go to in New England the most he ever charged to do anything was 15 dollars, and that was basically to BUILD YOU A SHOE from scratch. The guy charged $25 to glue the sole back on my shoe. Ye gods.

On the embarrassing confession...

So, um, hi. Wow, ok. So, I'm just going to say it. I can't swallow pills. There. I did it. I spit it out (get it? we've hit a new low at I think). Now, this hasn't been a problem too much in my life. I don't take pain killers for headaches. I've never had to take drugs for any thing. I've managed is all I am sayin'.

However, I'm about to go on The Pill (there are multitude of reasons for this none of which are important to this embarrassing confession), and it terrifies me that I won't be able to swallow the damn things.

I'm sure you've got some brilliant method for doing it: pill first then drink water, drink water then pill, spin around in circles five times stick pill in mouth while rotating and blink twice, wrap it in cheese like you're a dog, shove it as far back in your throat as you can and swallow, get one of those cup things with pill swallowing section for children, have your dad sit on you until you swallow it -- all been tried, none successful.

I think I've now developed this phobia about it, I get all nervous and then my gag reflex reaches unimaginable levels of sensitivity and suddenly swallowing water seems pretty difficult. I'm trying to remain calm and composed about the whole thing - hey look, I've only got every day for at least three months to practice, right? Right? RIGHT?

I'll master this, surely? I mean it's just swallowing, it's not like I can't do that (that's what she said?).


  1. The pill is tiny enough that you could probably chew it without tasting much of it, or even just accidentally swallow it! Most days I can swallow the pill 'dry' because it is so small, but some days are really weird and it just won't go down, and by the time I've actually got some water it's already dissolved.

    I still get a bit gaggy swallowing larger tablets (and vitamins, oh god, that's an ordeal). But hey, that's not nearly as bad as my gag reflex when it comes to yogurt. There's LIVE BACTERIA swimming in there. How on earth do you expect me to swallow that!?

  2. I sometimes find that the smaller the tablet, the harder it is to swallow - there I go making you even more nervous. Chewing it I wouldn't recommend as, apart from anything else, it tastes foul. I suppose you have considered all the other options - implants and injections etc. I opted for injections, one every 12 weeks, it also had the advantage of stopping my periods (though this doesn't always happen with everyone). Anyway, good luck.

  3. you could just get the shot instead of the pill. just a thought.

  4. Maybe you could think of the cobbler overcharging you while you take that pill sort of a diversion tactic.

  5. Don't worry about those guys. It's not like taking other pills. THE pill is so small that you can't even feel it go down. I don't even need water anymore, and I used to have a pill-a-phobia too.

  6. I have difficulty swallowing pills too! You just have to relax and let nature do it's magic :)

    YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!

  7. Seriously, I love you guys.

    Sandy - Wow, yogurt trauma huh? That's fair enough. Alright, you're right, I can do this.

    Petty Witter - Thanks!

    Rhea - yes yes, although from talking to girlfriends I don't think Australian doctor's promote the shot or the patch like they do in the states.

    Linlah - I try that!

    Bridget - It's so nice to hear a success story.

    Dutch Donut Girl - relax eh? I've never been great at that. But if you tell me too, perhaps I'll give it a go.

  8. Two things. First, that shoe I got my boots completely rebuilt/restructured/shined in Chile for about that much.
    Second, I used to have an unusual fear of swallowing pills. I suffer from chronic pain and get horrible headaches so eventually my doctor had to start me baby aspirin and advil for children. The advil is good because it's coated (I don't know if you can find anything like that there) but it goes down pretty easy with a big glass of water, and it's about the same size as that "pill".