Sunday, December 13, 2009

Sometimes left is right, you know?

This weekend was a weekend for trying new things. On Friday night, I attended Inspector Climate's work's Christmas party (where PS we won the award for best baking due to our gingerbread masterpiece. The award was to "Inspector Climate and His Girlfriend" I really hope they were referring to me, he's such a player you know?). The Christmas party was held at a Lawn Bowls Club. Now, if you're American you probably don't know what lawn bowls is (are?). It's a fast paced game that involves rolling a ball with a weight in it (so it curves) along a grass (or synthetic) pitch hoping with skill so that it arrives closest to The Jack - a ball on the other end. I think I've mentioned somewhere before (perhaps on the 100 things about me-after re-reading that post I realise I don't talk about bowling at all...but the point is...) that I Do.Not.Bowl. However, with a push encouragement from Inspector Climate, I lawn bowled and while I am reluctant to admit it, it was rather fun. Don't push me though, people, I will not be pin bowling any time in the future. That shipped sailed.

Then Saturday came along, and I was all why only do one new thing when I could do two? So first, Inspector Climate's mom let me drive her car, she's a brave woman.

Let me set the scene for you. I get in the RIGHT side of the car behind the steering wheel and precede to drive up a very empty road on the LEFT side of the road.

Me: Are you scared?
Inspector Climate: No.
Me: Am I scaring you?
Inspector Climate: No.
Me: Are you lying about how not scared you are?
Inspector Climate: No.
Me: Well, I am scared.

The truth was, after being here for two years, the whole getting behind the wheel for the first time was why more anti-climatic that anyone would have guessed. In fact, there was nary a scary moment at all (for me, I still hold out that Inspector Climate was lying) - granted I mostly drove on country roads and only briefly with traffic, but I say bring it on, Australia. but yes, making right hand turns was a bit tricky.

AND THEN, I SWALLOWED A PILL, y'all. A PILL. On the first go. I went up to Inspector Climate's room in his family home by myself. Assuming that like all the times before this one, I would attempt for 15 minutes to swallow the damn thing and then get so annoyed that I cried a little and I didn't want his parents to see me crackin' the sads. I didn't want anyone to see me crack it. But it was a breeze. Let me give you the play by play...I put water in my mouth (do this fairly regularly, so I am decent at it...well, except all those time it dribbles down my chin...), next I put the pill in my mouth (I put food in my mouth all the time...I got skills, yo!), then I swallowed. IT WAS LIKE MAGIC. (Spoiler alert, I swallowed it tonight too...Am I The Pill swallowing magician (it did take me two tries (so maybe I am more like The Pill Swallowing Magician's lame assistant (You know the one who over uses parenthesis and wears glittery jump suits?)))).

So if you want to try something new this week here are my suggestions:

1. Lawn Bowls. A good time to be had by all.
2. Drive on the other side of the road that you normally do, I'd suggest going to another country to do know a country that DOES drive on the other side of the road than you do...
3. Swallow a pill - oh wait, you probably can already do that?


  1. What is it with this country and bowling clubs?

  2. A positive week-end in more ways than one. Congratulations on your gingerbread masterpiece and being able to swallow that pill.

  3. I'll bet lawn bowling smells a hell of a lot better than indoor bowling.

  4. Your new adventures are exciting!

  5. Quoting Betty: "The Christmas party was held at a Lawn Bowls Club. Now, if you're American you probably don't know what lawn bowls is (are?). It's a fast paced game that involves rolling a ball with a weight in it".

    No ... no ... no ... Betty .. cars in Australia may have steering wheels on the RHS to make them turn, but lawn bowls now never have weights in them to make THEM turn ... it's actually the shape of their running surface which causes the turning ... slightly more slope one side than the other. But so glad you liked the game. It is much more difficult and much more fun than most people ever imagine. And that it why it is so addictive. Enjoy your time in Australia.

  6. Wow, you went to IC's work Christmas do and you've met his mother and driven her car. This all seems to be coasting along nicely.

    And yay for the pill swallowing!

  7. Ah, it is my contention that you are highly motivated to swallow this particular pill, and therefore previous pill aversions have gone by the boards. I had planned to suggest to you that you bury your pill in a bit of cheese, which is how I feed pills to my dogs, but it sounds as if you have solved this problem yourself. Well done!

  8. Seriously, this pill swallowing is quite an accomplishment indeed! I just hope you needed do it on the regular (like some folks I know [me?]).

    Also? Together, we "The Internets" are bringing back the word 'nary'. Rock ON sister.

  9. For some reason I immediately thought of Great Gatsby-esque scenes when I read the words "lawn bowling."

    And nice work on winning the gingerbread championship. :)

  10. Matthew - I don't know, but I like it.

    Petty Witter - Thank you, It's a tough life :)

    linlah - I wouldn't know, but I'll take your word for it (just another reason to not participate in pin bowling).

    Scrambled Jill - hah, exciting? I am glad you think so.

    Ranndy Stone - Hi! oh whoops, I was misinformed about the bowls, I am so very sorry :)

    Frisky Librarian - I know, it's crazy!

    Susan Walsh - I've tried the cheese technique with other pills, it never works for me. I think it's because The Pill is so teeny tiny.

    Ev Rev - I love nary - let's work it. you and me, my petite expat!

    Kyle - Hm, do they lawn bowl in the great gatsby? interesting.