Friday, January 29, 2010

Sometimes I think I can feel the future. It doesn't feel good. Rats.

Tonight as I climbed into bed I didn't really feel sleepy at all, which was weird because it was already past my bedtime at about 10:23. As I got under my sheet, I thought "Jeesh, I hope tonight isn't one of the nights that a rat tries to sneak into my room..." My heart beat quickened and I told myself to calm down - because seriously.

Folks, tonight was the night that some sort of rodent, mayhap a rat - or a possum, tried to climb into my room. I feel a bit nauseous (I never spell this word correctly without the help of spell check) and 2 hours after I made my way to bed I feel more wide awake then ever.

See, I tried to fall asleep, I tossed. I turned. I thought about future blog posts (one where I use my yoga prowess to envision my dream job - anyone want to read that?). I took a blanket off the bed, put a blanket on the bed. I daydreamed about the weekend when I get to see Inspector Climate again. I spent some time meditating on the acquisition of my dream job (this is important work). Then to be good world citizen I spent some time thinking about world peace and Federer winning the Australian Open - you know for you Your Welcome.

Then I heard the distinct sound of rodents whispering to each other - squeaking, and carrying on as rodents do. So I shut my window a bit because I am paranoid. Then, there started to be scratching so I shut it all the way. AND THEN I was wide awake and thought might as well put on my glasses and turn on my lap top and the fan because sleeping was fast becoming not an option. The sound of claws on my window pain, extra loud on a quiet night, and then a furry - quite large - body leaping from the window had my breath quickening and my body tense. I took a deep breath and then it crawled back on the windowsill and started squeaking and scratching at it.

Now, I'd like to say this is where I kept my calm. This is not where I kept my calm, people. First, I started IMing Rhea at a rapid fire pace describing how I was certainly going to die by this rat/possum/rodent/thing trying to circumvent my very high tech window security system. Then I doubled checked that the window was closed. And the rattling from my blind made it crouch down and hide. I started thinking about escape routes if it did punch eat through my window. Top of the list, run screaming from my bed room arms flying over my head and jump up and down on the couch.

Then I started blogging about it. When it started to make noise again, I reached for my camera. The things I do for the internet at a time of obvious crisis.

Taken from the safety of across my room under the covers on my bed:

Getting braver and looking through the window blinds at it - and it is monstrous.

I may never sleep again.

Or I may be over dramatic.


Updated to add: After further discussion - Rhea and I have decided that he is part of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Rodents and his name is Picasso. Thoughts?


  1. OHMYGOSH! IIIIII may never sleep again after reading this and seeing your photos. You poor, kitten. Eek. You and Rhea have it nailed -- he's totally a Teenage Mutant Ninja Rodent rat. Don't make eye contact with him... ever.

  2. Wowers, he is BIG!!! Whatever happens, be brave.. very brave.

  3. Those things are big. I bet they were whispering about you. I bet they were all "Do you think she's asleep yet so we can move in?@ Sorry. I know I shouldn't say that, but these are things I think about. You know. The rodents that are out to get me. It's exhausting being me.

  4. I would NEVER sleep again. And also? I would never open any window in the house again. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

  5. Rats typically don't bother me. Unless I know they're in the area but have NO idea where they are. I spook easy. But if I know where the rat is. I'm fine.

    I can actually claim herding both a small mouse and a rat into a box and then putting it outside -- two different jobs.

    I would hope my cats would come to my aid at home.... though the idea of mouse/rat bits is GROSS.

  6. Chris - I don't plan on making eye contact with Picasso. I feel better that he has a name now. but I am still a bit edgy about going to sleep tonight!

    DDG - This is all I am saying. I'm trying to be brave!

    Sara - I know - this stuff keeps me up at night too! And, no. Picasso can't move in!

    Twenty Four - I know! which is too bad because it's summer and it's hot! and ye gods.

    Rini - I am not typically too skittish either - I've dealt with snakes, mice, but this is a giant possum named Picasso - and he deserves my respect, I dare say.

  7. Ewwwww....I hate when this shit happens....Creepy! I found spiders yesterday....and thought they were crawling on me when I was sleeping....I feel your Ughhh!:)

  8. My worst fear ever. Well this and being attacked by chipmunks. Maybe this is the reason not to move to Oz?

  9. But what IS it? Also, I just spoke to my old landlord and she told me our old apartment is now infested with raccoons. Since it is our *old* apartment, and not one we are currently living in, this is absolutely hilarious.

  10. I can never quite fathom why people are so afraid of creatures much smaller than themselves (unless said creature is poisonous or prone to giving nasty bites). I guess I'm just really brave and tough. ;)

    Also on the topic of possums, I'd much rather have your giant rodent than the possum that very inconsiderately chose to die in my ceiling just before Christmas and make a bad smell. Gak.

  11. V - I know it was impossible to sleep afterwards...I felt like rats were climbing on me.

    Megs - don't let this stop you from moving to Australia!

    Bridget - It's a possum, which now that I know it isn't a rat I feel much better about life. Raccoons! That is funny.

    Frisky Librarian - I am usually not - I think it was mostly because it startled me while I was sleeping.

  12. Oh. My. God.
    That has completely freaked me out, namely because I'm terrified of rats and even mice but that....that looks monstrous. You know you are going to have to find somewhere else to live.
    I'm going back to watch the tennis to get that image out of my head. I'm not rooting for Federer, obviously!

  13. Well...Australian possums are much cuter than the American possums...but I wouldn't want either in my bed!
    My solution: get a cat.

  14. Oh my god, I got goosebumps all over reading this, and when I realised that you had posted photos I was too scared to scroll down. But I did and Ithankyou, I'll not be able to sleep tonight for fear of the teenage mutant ninja rat (or is that just Splinter?) is coming to get me.

    And I type this comment without reading everyone else's and realise I've almost replicated Chris' comment. WEIRD!

    Oh, and now I see that it's a possum. Freaky little shits.

  15. Selina - I am sorry we were on different sides of the Fed/Murray match. His time will come!

    Salty Miss Jill - cuter perhaps. But still nosy little buggers.

    Sandy - Aw, I hope you do get a good nights sleep! I refuse to let Picasso ruin another person's rest. Ah, Splinter...good call. No Picasso is on the Possum squad.