Thursday, February 25, 2010

But I don't speak Australian...

People say things to me all the time and I'm all "somehow I don't think we're speaking the same language anymore."

A couple of weeks ago, Inspector Climate asked me who "takes that yoga class." I stared at him blankly trying to remember all the people in the class...There's long blonde haired girl, there is Annabelle, there is ripped Asian dude, mean faced lady with purple mat. HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO REMEMBER ALL THE PEOPLE WHO TOOK THE CLASS. As the pause grew uncomfortably long, he was like "is it super buff scary chick?" Ok, seriously. What are we talking about here? He is naming one person while I have 25 people on call ready to tell him?

A few moments latter, as we dissected our little language barrier, Inspector Climate explained he was asking me who "taught" the class. TAUGHT the class. TAUGHT. Taught. Oh. So, I see. Why would you say "takes the class" what are they taking? Control? Our Brain power? I do not understand. It's like my moment to moment confusion as to why Australian and Brits say scone like they do. It's spelled like bone ... why shouldn't it RHYME with bone? Which I understand I'm being totally hypocritical because I pretend aluminium is missing a whole syllable and that herb doesn't have an 'h' in front of it. What's your point. I am not saying I am logical, I am just wondering, yo.

Which brings me to this...

What do you call that? Besides an atrocity. Australians call it a "bum pack" (I think...A bum something anyway) Oh, I cannot hide my giggles. It's just they are so darn cute. Bum pack! tee hee!

Me, I call that a fanny pack. Which causes other language problems because fanny here refers to the um...ladies front naughty bits...again, tee hee! This delightful discussion and cross-cultural education on bum packs (bwahahah!) led Inspector Climate to say possibly the most romantic thing ever...I hope you're sitting down. I don't want anyone to get swept off their feet via romance.

"Don't worry D., I love your fanny regardless of which continent we're on." Le sigh...he should write for Hallmark, y'all.


  1. Wait, wait...How DO they say scone? I'm seriously baffled over here.

  2. First, I just want to say that I sort of hope IC does not wear a bum pack, unless they're considerably more hip over there than they are here.

    Second, I can't believe that you also have a mean faced lady with a purple mat in yoga!

  3. I have a cousin from Australia. He was in the States when we were around 7 years old and me and my brother and sister were asking him to come and play. We were like, what is your name again? He said, Lamb. We were like, weird but okay, come on Lamb, let's go play. He was like, nooooooo, it's Lamb. That went on for a while until an aunt stepped in to say, it's Liam!

  4. Um yeah how do they scone? IC's proclimation was adorable.

  5. I'm so surprised no one quoted Toto here. "...And he just smiled, give me a vegemit sandwich!"

  6. It's a FANNY pack. A hideous, disgusting fanny pack.

  7. Thanks for the warning to remain seated! He's quite sweet, this Inspector Climate.

    And yup, I definitely call it a fanny pack and had no idea that fanny referred to the lady bits! Since fanny refers to the butt here, bum pack does make sense (though it's hilarious!)

    The taught/take thing reminds of how in Nigeria if someone asks you what you are reading, they want to know what you are studying, as in what program you are in.

  8. Diary of Why - it's more like sk-on. or something.

    Susan Walsh - HAH! No, he does not indeed where a bum pack. Thank goodness.

    Susan - Australians are not known for their ability to enunciate...I mean I love them for it. Don't get me wrong.

    linlah - he knows how to woo me.

    Ev Rev - hah! exactly.

    Kim - Indeed they are terrible.

    Jummy - IC is quite the charmer. Ah, in Australia they asked me "what course are you in" and it took me a long time to figure out what they meant. Because in the US that would refer to all the classes you're enrolled in and here it's just the program you are in.

  9. LOL, loving it.
    But do they really wear those hideous things? Fanny or Bum - ugh. And saying bum pack out loud would make my kids roll around laughing.

    It's lovely he likes your fanny. ::snicker::

  10. As an Australian (who found you via The Blogess):

    1) we say scone rhyming with John
    2) it's a BUM BAG.
    3) they are totally 90s anyway
    4) The song is by Men At Work, not Toto.


  11. Jessica - no no no they do not wear bum bags...I am not sure why IC and I were discussing it.

    Meg - of course it's men at work! classic.

  12. I've stumbled across your blog which I love btw..

    In New Zealand we say scone like John, and we also say bum bag because for us fanny is ladies parts.

    In France (where I live now) I still can't help giggling a little when I'm introduced to someone named fanny and then feel a little sorry for them if they ever go to the UK.

  13. I spent 6 months in Oz in my 20's. I remember saying something about having some change in my pants (pocket), which was met with titters, because apparently pants meant underpants. Also, if you mention that you blew someone off... whole different meaning. Got a lot of mileage out of that one.

  14. Haha, I've seen those fanny packs! They always kill me. Have you ever tried to talk to someone about biscuits? Scones, biscuits, crackers and cookies are all in a muddled lingo-mess. Oh, and is "tea" like... high-tea in U.K.sville or is it supper?

    I know it's weird to say I speak American. But I feel like it's a genuine language difference...

  15. Kiwi in France - no matter what continent, being named fanny is not flattering.

    kbxmas - Um, they don't use "pants" as undies as frequently as the brits - but it's definitely there. Sometimes just the way I say "bananas" is enough to cause giggles amongst my Australian buddies.

    JennaL - I know the cookie/biscuit thing is really hard to figure out! The number of times someone has asked me if I'd like tea and I say no, then they are all "aren't you hungry" and that's when I've realised we're having language issues.

  16. "Takes that class"? I would interpret that as who is in the class. Eastern Australian is different to Western Australian it seems...!