Thursday, February 04, 2010

I am le tired.

I think about the fact that I don't have a job, and I need one, all the time. I can't help it when I surf the net to search the job sites over and over again hoping for one more ad that will be it. The Job. I think about it when I am applying for jobs, brushing my teeth, when I am at yoga pretending being zen, when I cook food, when I am eating food, when I am walking down the street. I think about it when I regale Inspector Climate with how exhausting it is to think about it. and I think about it when I watch movies like Up In The Air. I can't not think about it.

So when Tuesday rolled around, and I didn't have the energy to get out of bed, cook meals, or even read a novel. Yes, reading a novel suddenly takes too much effort because of all that energy I need to focus for long periods of time on not thinking about how unemployed I am.

These are the things I have the energy to do:

Watch Ellen.
After an hour of pep talks, shower.

That's it.

Things I don't have the energy to do:

Shower without an hour of pep talks.

Everything Else.

Inspector Climate this morning called me a grumpet (grumpy muppet)...pretty appropriate, really.

So, how are you?


  1. Ugh- sorry to hear you arent having any luck with job searching! what field are you in? Just keep trucking, and something will hit soon!

  2. Ugh, I know what you mean. I am right there with ya.

  3. The best way to find a job is to quit looking.

    Take a break, and forget that you NEED one. Spend a day doing whatever sparks your interest.
    At the end of the day there will have been something that caught your interest; maybe turned your brain in a direction you never anticipated.
    Open your mind to possibility.

    .. and this from someone who is the very definition of "Screw it, I need a nap".
    I understand. It is exhausting when you focus so hard on something.
    Your human. Don't forget to laugh, to play.
    There is a reason that puppet you mentioned spent so much time sleeping.
    It's OK to cut the strings and run away for a day. ;)
    Life is short. Take the time to make memories .. and all that other nonsense.

    Let us know how it goes.

    DO IT. (that was your sub-conscious)

  4. When I'm miserable I think of all the people I know who have problems that I wouldn't want. That usually does the trick long enough for me to accomplish a small task.
    There's also nothing wrong with napping for a few weeks.

  5. That sounds really familiar. Now that I settled for the first job that would hire me, I'm still looking and think about it all the time. And then I panic, and then I eat an entire bag of chips.

    Good luck.

  6. I'm proud of you for accomplishing that Ellen and shower thing. It's all about the small victories.

  7. Me?

    Oh, I'm getting by.

    If I ever win the lottery I will pay you to blog. How about that?

    ps. Don't mean to be a pessimist, but maybe keep checking for now. ;)

  8. guilty of gossip - Environmental science is my field.

    Diary of Why - We should start some jobless blogger society.

    Jessica - Unfortunately, I need the job to get PR in Oz, the job being the secondary goal really. which is why it's so stressful and why I can't stop thinking about it.

    Twisted Susan - For you misery likes company? I'll see what I can do.

    Tina - I, too, will be taking the first job that hires me. Which are your chips of choice?

    linlah - Thank you! It took a lot out of me, that's for sure.

    Matthew - Glad to hear it. Unfortunately Seek hasn't come up with a single job ad that works for me. Tragic. But thanks for the tip :)

  9. I'm a bit cooler than I was yesterday...not so angry.

    There are days when a job situation just buries you in exhaustion. It sucks.

  10. Blah. I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I get obsession on the brain too and sometimes it's paralyzing. Right now I mostly worry about not having money and that's definitely a constant stressor. I wish I could just not think about it for one minute of my life!

  11. Try as well as Seek - it searches a few sites and brings up some jobs that you might not have seen, particularly if you use Seek exclusively. I found 2 out of the 4 jobs I had in the past year through there.

  12. Yikes. Don't succumb to the throes of depression, because it'll be all the more difficult to get out.
    I will be thinking of you. :)

  13. SIGH. And now you've gone and written a post for ME. I find that, at the beginning of the week, I feel so so great and productive. But by the end of the week I don't even want to see anyone.

    Which is why I am at home on a Friday with blogs, a bottle of cremant and a chocolate bar.

    Ahem. Yes, well. That and the whole ridiculous dating thing.

    Don't forget we're in this together! (With a lot of other people, it seems!)

  14. Kim - I know right? It'd be nice if I could just look at it like some kind of extended vacation...but I can't.

    Kyle - Thanks. I am sorry you have financial worries too - it'd be so nice to not have these things hanging over our heads. Or if we could just look at them as a figment of our subconscious. Sadly. I can't.

    Sandy - Thanks! I am actually not looking at at all, really. But I'll definitely look into applydirect! Thanks for the tip :)

    Jill - This isn't the "real" depression, this is just being sad and tired. But I plan on staying strong...Thanks for your support :)

    Ev Rev - Sounds like a GREAT friday evening to me! And yes, we are in this together! AND WE SHALL CONQUER.

  15. Oh sorry! I hope you rest up. I've been having a pretty great week actually!

    hahahaha I like grumpet. My boyfriend called me tonta when I get cranky. Tonta=stupid/silly. I don't think that's a good thing.

  16. babe, i'm sorry to hear that. i love you and i miss you and if i could give you a job i would in a heartbeat. and i am proud of you for showering. i understand just how big an accomplishment that can be. (trust me, i get it, i'm waffling between sleeping all the time with no motivation to do... anything. and going out for days in a row and making *really* poor decisions and throwing any semblance of responsibility out the window)

  17. Sara - Yay for your good week! Tonta, hm? Yeah, I don't know how I feel about that, I think that would make grumpier! :)

    Rhea - Aw, thanks! It'll be ok. Just a rough few days. Kisses!