Thursday, February 04, 2010

I am le tired.

I think about the fact that I don't have a job, and I need one, all the time. I can't help it when I surf the net to search the job sites over and over again hoping for one more ad that will be it. The Job. I think about it when I am applying for jobs, brushing my teeth, when I am at yoga pretending being zen, when I cook food, when I am eating food, when I am walking down the street. I think about it when I regale Inspector Climate with how exhausting it is to think about it. and I think about it when I watch movies like Up In The Air. I can't not think about it.

So when Tuesday rolled around, and I didn't have the energy to get out of bed, cook meals, or even read a novel. Yes, reading a novel suddenly takes too much effort because of all that energy I need to focus for long periods of time on not thinking about how unemployed I am.

These are the things I have the energy to do:

Watch Ellen.
After an hour of pep talks, shower.


That's it.

Things I don't have the energy to do:

Dishes.
Shower without an hour of pep talks.

Everything Else.


Inspector Climate this morning called me a grumpet (grumpy muppet)...pretty appropriate, really.

So, how are you?

17 comments:

  1. Ugh- sorry to hear you arent having any luck with job searching! what field are you in? Just keep trucking, and something will hit soon!
    :)

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  2. Ugh, I know what you mean. I am right there with ya.

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  3. The best way to find a job is to quit looking.
    Seriously.

    Take a break, and forget that you NEED one. Spend a day doing whatever sparks your interest.
    At the end of the day there will have been something that caught your interest; maybe turned your brain in a direction you never anticipated.
    Open your mind to possibility.

    .. and this from someone who is the very definition of "Screw it, I need a nap".
    I understand. It is exhausting when you focus so hard on something.
    Your human. Don't forget to laugh, to play.
    There is a reason that puppet you mentioned spent so much time sleeping.
    It's OK to cut the strings and run away for a day. ;)
    Life is short. Take the time to make memories .. and all that other nonsense.

    Let us know how it goes.

    DO IT. (that was your sub-conscious)

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  4. When I'm miserable I think of all the people I know who have problems that I wouldn't want. That usually does the trick long enough for me to accomplish a small task.
    There's also nothing wrong with napping for a few weeks.

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  5. That sounds really familiar. Now that I settled for the first job that would hire me, I'm still looking and think about it all the time. And then I panic, and then I eat an entire bag of chips.

    Good luck.

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  6. I'm proud of you for accomplishing that Ellen and shower thing. It's all about the small victories.

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  7. Me?

    Oh, I'm getting by.

    If I ever win the lottery I will pay you to blog. How about that?

    ps. Don't mean to be a pessimist, but maybe keep checking seek.com for now. ;)

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  8. guilty of gossip - Environmental science is my field.

    Diary of Why - We should start some jobless blogger society.

    Jessica - Unfortunately, I need the job to get PR in Oz, the job being the secondary goal really. which is why it's so stressful and why I can't stop thinking about it.

    Twisted Susan - For you misery likes company? I'll see what I can do.

    Tina - I, too, will be taking the first job that hires me. Which are your chips of choice?

    linlah - Thank you! It took a lot out of me, that's for sure.

    Matthew - Glad to hear it. Unfortunately Seek hasn't come up with a single job ad that works for me. Tragic. But thanks for the tip :)

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  9. I'm a bit cooler than I was yesterday...not so angry.

    There are days when a job situation just buries you in exhaustion. It sucks.

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  10. Blah. I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I get obsession on the brain too and sometimes it's paralyzing. Right now I mostly worry about not having money and that's definitely a constant stressor. I wish I could just not think about it for one minute of my life!

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  11. Try applydirect.com.au as well as Seek - it searches a few sites and brings up some jobs that you might not have seen, particularly if you use Seek exclusively. I found 2 out of the 4 jobs I had in the past year through there.

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  12. Yikes. Don't succumb to the throes of depression, because it'll be all the more difficult to get out.
    I will be thinking of you. :)

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  13. SIGH. And now you've gone and written a post for ME. I find that, at the beginning of the week, I feel so so great and productive. But by the end of the week I don't even want to see anyone.

    Which is why I am at home on a Friday with blogs, a bottle of cremant and a chocolate bar.

    Ahem. Yes, well. That and the whole ridiculous dating thing.

    Don't forget we're in this together! (With a lot of other people, it seems!)

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  14. Kim - I know right? It'd be nice if I could just look at it like some kind of extended vacation...but I can't.

    Kyle - Thanks. I am sorry you have financial worries too - it'd be so nice to not have these things hanging over our heads. Or if we could just look at them as a figment of our subconscious. Sadly. I can't.

    Sandy - Thanks! I am actually not looking at seek.com at all, really. But I'll definitely look into applydirect! Thanks for the tip :)

    Jill - This isn't the "real" depression, this is just being sad and tired. But I plan on staying strong...Thanks for your support :)

    Ev Rev - Sounds like a GREAT friday evening to me! And yes, we are in this together! AND WE SHALL CONQUER.

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  15. Oh sorry! I hope you rest up. I've been having a pretty great week actually!

    hahahaha I like grumpet. My boyfriend called me tonta when I get cranky. Tonta=stupid/silly. I don't think that's a good thing.

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  16. babe, i'm sorry to hear that. i love you and i miss you and if i could give you a job i would in a heartbeat. and i am proud of you for showering. i understand just how big an accomplishment that can be. (trust me, i get it, i'm waffling between sleeping all the time with no motivation to do... anything. and going out for days in a row and making *really* poor decisions and throwing any semblance of responsibility out the window)

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  17. Sara - Yay for your good week! Tonta, hm? Yeah, I don't know how I feel about that, I think that would make grumpier! :)

    Rhea - Aw, thanks! It'll be ok. Just a rough few days. Kisses!

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