Thursday, May 20, 2010

This week has kicked my ass....

Last weekend, at the same time my mother was telling me that He Had Cancer she also said "oh yeah, and your cat's dying." Cue more uncontrollable sobbing. For much of the weekend, I couldn't tell who or what I was crying for. Only I knew that He With Cancer was going to be fine - and he is. I knew my lovely cat, was not going to be fine. That she was approaching her 21st birthday and that it was her time. But her being old doesn't make it any easier at all to know that when I go home she won't come sit on my lap while I sit in the green chair (a chair that is green...we're very creative in my house with the names). Kneading my chest for minutes and minutes before she curls up with her head tucked beneath my chin. She drooled. And often after a cuddle session she'd hop off your lap and you'd find a large wet spot on your shirt.

She didn't learn to meow until about 5 years ago when suddenly she found her voice. But never a real cat meow, more like a croak.

We got her when I was four years old. I can't remember living in our house without her. But I do remember that first day we brought her home. A tiny fur ball who adored chasing after string. During high school she'd come into my bedroom at night curl up on my neck and snooze gently while I desperately tried to NOT toss and turn, but inevitably I'd have to move and she'd get off me disgruntled and upset. Then I'd lock her in my bedroom by mistake and she'd poop on my bed. ahh, the good times.

Today, she passed away. And once again, I am left heartbroken thousands of miles away from my oldest and dearest friends, pets, and family. She used to lick the tears off my face and now they just drip endlessly down my cheeks and neck.

She used to eat cantaloupe and she taught our puppies to be respectful of cats.

She'd jump on your back while you picked things in the garden and hung out down there just to be with you.

She has been a constant companion that I probably often took for granted while growing up. I've missed her acutely since being away, often mistaking my fleece blanket for her when I wake up in the morning.

Goodbye, Old Friend. You are greatly missed.


  1. aww I'm so sorry to hear about your cat. It's so hard being away from home when anyone (human or animal) gets sick or dies. I haven't experienced this yet, and I don't know how I will react.

    Hang in there, and I'm sure your kitty appreciates your tribute to her :)

  2. I was living in Boston when my parents called to tell me my dog had died. That was tough. Sending good thoughts your way.

  3. Oh : (

    So sad.

    I can imagine it's very hard being far away.

    Your tribute was beautiful.

  4. Deirde, what a horrible week! My two cats passed away a while back, and it just broke my heart. Hearing that on top of the other news is just overwhelming. I'm so sorry.

    I'm mentally sending you happy thoughts and flowers: daffodils and tulips and hyacinths because they smell so good.

  5. oh I'm so sorry about your kitty. My 3 cats have died since I've been away from home and it was really tough. Poor Toby was only 5, Smudge and Rusty 17 and 18. But I know they had a great life and I'm sure it would have been way tougher being at home and not having them around all of a sudden. My kitty Rusty was the cat who lost his meow and purr and probably for 15 years of his life he was mute only to find it not long before he died... he was so cute. I'm sure your lovely kitty had a wonderful life and loved you to bits too!

  6. oh darling!!! I am so sorry to hear this!! Think of it this way: now you have a kitty gaurdian angel. It MUST work like that, right? My heart goes out to you, so sad.

    BIG HUGS!!

  7. Sorry!

    This last week has been bad for me to and for none of the reasons you mentioned. This country is really kicking my ass this week and I just want to curl up in a ball, eat peanut butter ice cream, watch American TV and talk to a good friend.

  8. I am so sorry to hear about your kitty cat and all the other troubles with your family. I am praying for you!

  9. Crystal - Yeah, it is really hard. My general reaction is to get really homesick and then wonder why I decided to move so far away.

    Dairy of Why - Aw, sorry about your puppy (even years later it still hurts doesn't it)? And thanks.

    Dina - Thank you - it is very hard being far away.

    Aura - It's been rough. Aw thanks for the happy thoughts, I definitely appreciate that.

    Kiwi in France - Aw, I'm so sorry. the kitties! THey had lovely names.

    Ev Rev - Aw, thanks Juliet. It's been a very hard week. I like the thought of having a kitty guardian angel.

    Sara - sometimes being an expat just doesn't seem worth the effort, you know?

    Where the fur flies - thank you!

    Cammy - Thank you. I really do appreciate it.

    Thanks Skye - I needed all those virtual hugs.

  10. I can't say anything to make it better. Just know she had you as a companion too, and I'm fairly sure she couldn't have hoped for better.

    A little prayer to her, and you.

    I do need to say though; we have a cat right now who sucks his back toe and treads when he's happy. And he drools like a St. Bernard when you pet him.
    I have never heard of any other cat doing that.
    I can appreciate how your feeling.

  11. Sorry about your kitty! I so feel your pain. As you noticed on my blog I also lost a furry friend last week.

    I still get a little teary eyed just thinking about it!