Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Day two: a post I wish more people had read

So, today is day two of the week of 'jump starting my blog' via the SITS girls. Today's challenge is to pick a post that I wish more people had read when I posted it.

Entire Relationships in a Paragraph

As writer's block continues; i am searching the internet for writing ideas. When i found this: Entire Relationships in a Paragraph and hers are so eloquently put that i thought what a brilliant idea! i'll steal it! Mine won't be nearly so beautifully written.

1. We lie on the floor; near a dresser my dad made me when i was "a kid." He tries to pull my frizz behind my ear. I take the gesture as sweet but useless. I've let my lips pass over his skin, its what i think a kiss is. Soon, he kisses my forehead and then my lips. It's my first kiss. I wait for fireworks. There are none. later my mom has to drive him home; we sit in the car not talking. my stomach hurts. We wave goodbye, i hope it'll be this easy forever.

2. I curl up on his lap; my head snuggled against his chest. We're watching Finding Nemo. "Bubbles" he says. I am confused, i am not watching the movie. I am not paying attention to anything else but how safe it feels to be held. His hand rubs my arm; my eyes close; falling asleep never seemed so easy. He tells me to wake up, tickles my stomach. I open eyes and turn towards the television and see his gun leaned up against the wall. I tell him its time for me to leave.

3. We walk into the dark theater. Tom Hanks in animated form is singing on the screen. We find seats. I curl up in my chair and lean against him. my head resting on his shoulder. His hand reaches for mine. He looks down at me and whispers "I like you so much." I blush. I don't know what to say - my mind races. To express myself is to let him in. He stares at me expectantly, so i reach up and kiss him. I turn back to the screen, not wanting to be the couple making out in a children's movie; the animation has gotten so good, that Tom Hanks' hair looks real. I want to touch it.

Why is this post so important to me? Well, it's not really. I mean now it isn't that important, but back then, it was. But it was written (in November 2007), before I had many readers (or any readers). It was written because I was still getting over guy in paragraph 2. I wanted him to know that I still thought about him, still was not over him, and even though it had been a year since we'd spoken and multiple years after that one particular moment that I still cared.

It also felt like 'real' writing, at the time I mean.

If I was going to rewrite this post now I'd have a wider range of moments to capture in a paragraph.

Like perhaps this one:

The sun was shining and I was using my legs after a 15 hour plane flight. The wind was blowing straight from Antarctica and I had my right arm wrapped around his waist to keep him warm. His arm hung loosely around my shoulders and suddenly stretched to point out something to me along the river bank. He returned his arm to his side and said "Finally, I got my arm back."

Or mayhap this one:

We sit working on our respective laptops. He makes a kissing noise looks up from his screen and says "that's for you." I smile, look up at him and long for him to be sitting closer to me so that I could lean my head back in that hollow where his arm meets his body and snuggle close. It's there I feel the safest. There where applying for yet some other job, getting ready for another day at work, or trying to solve yet another visa issue seems easy. It's the reason I can be brave that little hollow and his arms and the way he looks at me.

They don't seem like real writing any more though - they seem like I'm trying to hard.

4 comments:

  1. I understand what you mean about the "real writing". I haven't written anything that hasn't been a report or a blog post in YEARS.

    I liked your real writing attempts :)

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  2. I adore your very last paragraph. Beautiful.

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  3. Awesome post. You gave me two great ideas: posting old stuff I feel especially connected to and the "relationship in a graph" thing. I want to try that! Always love your stuff.

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  4. Sara - Thank you - I think you do real writing in your blog! You do, you do!

    Kyle - What can I say, he makes me feel all warm and fuzzy...

    Dominick - Aw, thanks! Definitely give the writing relationships in a paragraph thing a try and I'll stop by and see how it goes!?

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