Wednesday, October 06, 2010

To quote one of my favourite movies "abstinence is the best way to ...not"

And I am not talking about abstaining from sex, but from blogging of course.

I just haven't been in the mood. That's partly because last weekend was day light savings and suddenly my body felt like it was jetlagged. "What do you mean it's dark in the morning? What does this mean that it's light in the evening" WHAT IS HAPPENING.

Thank you so much for the very sweet comments on this post. I've appreciated hearing that all of you are equally as full of worry and a bit of The Crazy too. It's a relief. So, now as I cuddle down with Penguin and listen to the rain on the roof of my cute little apartment I am ready for further confessions.

The job interview went surprising well. I was enthusiastic and passionate. I had answers for their questions and I felt like I'd be a good fit. Which is more than I can say for most job interviews I've had, where it becomes blatantly clear within moments that there was some mistake and I should never have been interviewed at all because I don't know anything about the job AT ALL. So that was refreshing.

Plus, it reminded of what it is like to be passionate about something. I've had to start approaching my job like it's just well, a job. I have to treat it like waitressing, because if I don't I start feeling downtrodden about my lack of contributing to society, doing what I love, and feeling angry about plodding through insignificant tasks (tomorrow for example I am going to be eyeballing a couple hundred names in a spreadsheet looking for duplicates in the following fields: email, address, phone number, last name, first name...).

I felt so brave after the interview, here I was finally getting recognised as being POSSIBLY qualified for something that I makes me exude passion and confidence. I was positively glowing because I was talking about what I would do if I could do what I love.

After the interview glow subsided, I was left with knowing that there was a small chance I was going to have to make a big decision in the next two weeks.

When faced with a problem, I like to know that I know the answer before I need to know the answer. Deep down I knew that I'd move to Melbourne and stay here - long before I moved to Melbourne. Inspector Climate keeps telling me to worry about whether I'll take the job if they offer to me if they offer it to me.

And I just can't.

I am weighing my options now. How often will I get to be in Melbourne. Will I get paid more, less, and most importantly and simply, will I get paid enough? Will I enjoy working part time? Can I fit four yoga classes into this schedule? I struggle to find the answers to this questions now so when the time comes and I am approaching making (or in most cases have already made) a decision I've thought it through from all angles. I don't want them to say something to me and feel FREAKED out that I hadn't thought of it.

So that's what new with me...

How are you?


  1. SOunds like the interview went great and that this could be something you would be really passionate about (so few of us get to be passionate about our job)

    I hope you get! It will mean lots of changes, but change can be good :)

  2. Wow! So much new with you and I know it's stessful, but there's a part of me that's envious of *that* stress. Life's so exciting for you! And promising! It's all going to work out exactly as it should... for YOU.

    I'm well. Busy, but aren't we all? Thanks for asking, kitten. :)

  3. Don't make a decision based on fear or yoga classes.

  4. Ah, big decisions to be made! I think the job could be a great thing.

  5. big decisions are always stressful. i am a mess, i just moved and i know that in the long run i am going to be so much happier. but right now i feel like a mess. my life is all over the place and i am missing people i shouldn't and thinking about all sorts of things i shouldn't. and for some reason i just feel unsettled. ok i am unsettled because we're still moving in and therefore i feel like the rest of my life is totally in flux. when in reality it isn't. sometimes you just have to get through those little periods and bear in mind that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. babe, you know i really believe that everything happens for a reason. and life works out for the best. sometimes you just don't know the reasons for all the stuff in between. you know for a long time i cursed college and was like why did i ever go to that school. but then i think to myself about all the amazing people i wouldn't have in my life. because you. you are one of my best friends and my world would be much sadder without you in it. so you know all those big decisions always take you somewhere and sometimes it's a fun road and sometimes it's not. but what i'm trying to say here is i think that whatever you choose it will be the right thing even if it doesn't feel like you're even close to sure of it at the time.

  6. Love and Stuff - Totally the change can be good! the possibility of change is...hardly ever fun for me :)

    Chris - Aw, thanks Chris. I know it will...I just have to be patient.

    Twisted Susan - hah! Yoga classes are a big part of every decision!

    Cammy - I am sure it'd be great, if I get it!

    Rhea - moving is so stressful! But I bet you'll feel so much better once things are put away and everything has a proper place. Very wise words. I love you!