Monday, December 13, 2010

I'm sorry, what did you say?

This weekend I had a string of strange conversations.

On Friday, I was craving toast. Ok, so it's gluten free toast, but it provides the same services as normal toast which on this occasion was to be the vehicle for butter. (What can I say, sometimes I just crave butter).

There is this grocery store on my walk home from yoga that carries gluten free bread. But when I went on Friday there was none to be found on the shelves. So I asked a woman who works there if she could check the back for me to see if they had any stored there.

"Hi, I was wondering if you had any gluten free bread in the back?"

"Um, we don't sell free bread."

Later that afternoon I went to the bank to deposit a Christmas check that my grandparents sent me, however when I got to the teller she told me that she had to send the check back to the US and then they'd negotiate with the bank to determine the fees involved and how they'd deposit it, or something. I don't know how you feel about that? But to me that seems...odd. So I told her not to worry about it and I'd weigh some other options.

"But," she asked totally concerned, "how will you deposit it?"

I don't know lady - I was hoping YOU could tell me that.

The icing on the cake was when Inspector Climate and I went grocery shopping on Saturday and I got some stellar career advice from the check out chick.

"Oh, so you're unemployed? You know what you should do? You should become a receptionist for some company and then like totally go to school part time until you figure out what you want to do."

Actually, that's a lie. The icing on the cake happened in the middle of last night. Inspector Climate shook me roughly awake.

"What? Are you ok?"

"How do you make milk?"


"How do you make yoghurt?"

"With milk...are you ok? Could you please stop shaking me now, I am awake..."

"No, how do you make custard?? shhh, go back to sleep"

"what? with eggs I think?"

I should probably have prefaced this with that Inspector Climate is a notorious sleep talker/mover arounder. He's told me that I'll keep cooler on hot nights if I sleep under a wool blanket. He's demanded that I shut out all the light in the tent we were sleeping in while we were camping. And the first night I slept at his house, he said another girl's name out loud in his sleep - to be fair it was his cousin...but I didn't know that at the time.

Anything you'd like to say?


  1. Ha ha sleep talking is so embarresing. I once jumped up nearly giving the boyfriend a heart attack and then told him "I'll do the dishes now"

  2. Haha, that is a string of strangeness indeed!

  3. Sleep talking is sooooo weird.
    I do it ....apparently. Actually I know I do as my husband recorded me one night and it was me speaking, clear as day, except that it was night!
    So yo Inspector Climate, you're in good company !!

  4. HA! Oh, dear. Communication craziness indeed!

  5. I'd just like to say that I once had a fortnight when I couldn't get enough butter. That's all I wanted. Buuuuttter. Mm.

  6. Love and Stuff - HAHAHAHA. I love it. The Inspector Climate stories are endless. he once got out of bed and made a bed for someone else because he thought someone else was trying to sleep with us and he wasn't happy about it!

    Emily Jane - yes! and today a costumer at a supermarket tried to get me to buy more mangos.

    Selina - Hah! Do you say funny things too?

    Corrine - le sigh, it's a mess!

    JM - butter is delicious.

  7. HAAAA! This is hysterical. I love your humor. Glad you visited me so I could find you!

    ♥ V
    twitter: @gritandglamour

  8. I once had a boyfriend sit up in the middle of the night and shout, "YOU BITCH!" He'd been dreaming that I was pushing him out a window.

  9. Sleep talking can be HYSTERICAL! My hubby does is sometimes and he cracks me up.

  10. Grit and Glamour - I am glad I found you tooo!

    Eden - Thanks for stopping by! And that is hilarious. My cousin once screamed at me "TAKE ME TO CHICAGO" it scared me.

    Krysten - it is sooo funny. le sigh. people make me laugh.