Tuesday, March 01, 2011

On trying new things and deciding to believe.

I wrote in this post that I've been skeptical about traditional doctors for a long time. I think that's in part because they always look at the symptoms and hardly ever dive into the cause. In my experience, I haven't had a doctor who looked at my rash-y skin and once linked it to food I was eating or asked why is her skin rashy. They just gave me topical creams or strong antibiotics in hopes that one of those things will just kick in and solve the problem. And that's not to say that they don't do good work - but when it comes to my body I need an arsenal of different types of doctors and medical professionals and voo doo specialists to treat the whole kablamy.

Which is a little background into to why I went and made an appointment with someone who does Reiki. All I know is Reiki is something to do with the energy in your body. Look I am not into researching - sometimes you got to dive in and hope for the best.

Last year was emotionally and physically REALLY difficult for me. I had a serious allergic reactions to the pill which caused a full body rash, and several episodes of crying every single day (I've only mentioned this like a floppity ka jillion times). And I had a job that made me have panic attacks in the morning before going to work and then I'd cry myself to sleep most nights. Not ideal. I felt like I needed some way of letting go of all that negative energy and that I was holding on to it and getting quagmired (is that even a word?).

And so I went to get cleansed. Luckily one of my friends from that nasty old job has a Reiki practice and so I had someone who was familiar with me and also knew first hand what I had to put up with.

When she first put her hands on me it was like I forgot how to breathe, each inhale was a huge amount of work and my whole diaphragm would tighten spastically as I forced it to perform. It took a probably 10 or 15 minutes for me to be able let go enough to breathe naturally.

She told me that I have a lot of things that I need to say and not the forum to say them in and that perhaps I should write a series of letters and then burn them (or perhaps use the anonymous blog swap!).

Then she told me something so totally out there that my logical mind told me that perhaps this was a too cockamamie even for me. She told me that my great grandmother wants me to know that women in our family have an abundant amount of inner strength and ability to forge our own paths. My great grandmother who is on the other side...

She and I were very close before she passed away when I was 13. She was in her 90s and so hip and forward thinking and yes she forged her own path. She began a charity where she bought antiques from Jews fleeing Nazis so they could have money to start a life in a new place. And then sold the antiques to raise money for those families. She ate pounds of candy and never had teeth problems. She was funny and smart and believed in manners and kindness. She had gorgeous jewellery and fabulous clothes and she wore them and didn't worry about losing a giant diamond ring or staining a velvet dress.

Do I believe in ghosts and spirits and that my great grandmother stopped in to visit to tell me I can forge my own path and I just need to live in the present and stop worrying so much about my future...I am not sure. But it definitely was exactly what I needed to hear - and what's the harm in that?

15 comments:

  1. I believe in ghosts. The good kind. I'd listen to her!

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  2. I have a friend who talks to dead people. Am I a believer?
    I'm not an unbeliever.

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  3. I am not a skeptic by nature. I think that life is miraculous, and I suspect there's much we don't know. I think the message from your great grandmother might be a lovely gift. It might not. But why not enjoy the memories it triggers, and derive the benefit from the message?

    After the year you've had, this message from your beloved great grandmother may be exactly what you need to hear!

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  4. you grandma sounds like she was a really cool person. I'm not sure I believe in ghosts and all that stuff, but the "message" seems to be a good one, no matter who or what it came from.

    I've been curious to try reiki myself...could you tell us more about it? did you feel any different afterwards? do you think it helped?

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  5. I believe in ghosts so I think this definitely could have happened.

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  6. I really love your last paragraph. Beautifully said.

    If the message gives you strength, that's what matters.

    It might have been really from your grandmother, and it might not have been. I think it's fun to imagine that it was. I like believing in that stuff.

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  7. I absolutely believe. You've seen posts I've written about the occult I'm sure. I believe in ghosts, spirits, energy, intuition, horoscopes, tarot cards, reiki...you name it!

    I would heed that advice :)

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  8. Your grandmother sounds like such a special lady. I would love to try reiki out sometime, do you think you will do it again?

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  9. Seriously, I adore you all! I thought this post would be the time I got some hate mail! And yet, y'all were just lovely. I heart you, my bitches.

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  10. Great story - I would have loved to have met your grandmother, she sounds like a fabulous woman!

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  11. Oh, and I agree about traditional doctors. Although I think they have their place and I do go to them, I think it's good to balance that with someone that has more of a whole body, whole person approach, too - like a naturopathic doctor!

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  12. Wow, that's a really interesting story! I definitely hear you on traditional doctors - they know sod all, and I've seen enough of them to know that they don't give a toss when the answer isn't immediately obvious. I think that experience with your grandmother (as hokey as Reiki might seem - I've had it once, and I felt the same way!) was definitely something worth paying attention to! I believe in ghosts - and I think you've just inspired a blog post for me :)

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  13. So I haven't written you in forever. This is a wonderful post and I am right there with you on the doctors not going for the root of the problem. It is one of the reason I'm on the current path of studying holistic nutrition. I think what you have here is a message that you need to hear and that hearing it through your Grandmother is probably the easiest way for you to hear this message. Whether you believe it was your grandmother or not someone needs you to hear that.

    Wonderful post about allowing yourself to be open to experiences.

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  14. Honestly, stop! you people spoil me! Oh who I am kidding I love these comments!!

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  15. You have to do what works for you love! I hope that you find some peace in this.

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