Thursday, April 07, 2011

Preparing to miss

New post up at Love Without Training Wheels. Apparently, I am the only one...

Also, I apologise if I've seemed a little mopey recently, I just miss him!

When I was little, I used to get emotionally prepared as soon as my parents suggested something could happen. Months before my older sibling moved to college, I prepared myself to miss him. I worried about what would life be like without him living at home with us. I anguished over how I'd talk to him now that we wouldn't be forced to sit at the dinner table together. I cried myself to sleep at night. I missed him before I had a chance to miss him.

I've grown accustomed to missing things, as an expat it's kind of a way of life. I miss being able to call my best friend Anne any time I want. I miss going into any supermarket and buying black beans and corn tortillas. And for most of the things I miss, I know that missing them doesn't mean I that I want anything to change, I am not going to suddenly move home just because I honestly, like, for reals can not handle entering one more store asking for molasses and having the employees ask me if "molasses is like maple syrup." If you want to make me angry, first pretend that fake maple syrup is the actually real maple syrup. You know real maple syrup - the delicious substance that is made from tapping a maple tree and cooking down sap for 10 hours. And then to twist the knife in my heart try to tell me that fake maple syrup is a substitute for molasses.


And while we're talking about missing, I am already starting to miss my parents. They haven't even arrived yet. This is isn't to say that I'll not fully enjoy the weeks they are here. That I won't live in the moment and soak up all the Parental Unit time I can take before kissing them good bye at the airport. I hate that moment. My mom and I hug both of us pretending like it's not a big deal. Tears well up in our eyes and pretend we don't notice them. I hug my dad. We say our "see you soons" even though we don't know when "soon" is. And as soon as I am out of their sight, I sob.

This is to say that Inspector Climate has been on a business trip for the past week and a half and I miss him. I feel kind of silly writing it, it's only been a week and a half and there are those of you out there trying to figure out real long distance relationships. But I miss him. Remember the giant penguin he gave me for my birthday, I've been sleeping with it every night. I am a 25 year old who is sleeping with a stuffed animal. And I wish I had stolen a t-shirt of his, so that I could smell like him when I fall asleep.


  1. Meep :(

    Missing things as "an expat way of life" isn't something I'd thought of like that before, but now that you've phrased it so perfectly, I definitely relate 100%. And there's nothing wrong with sleeping with a big stuffed animal!


  2. I am exactly the same, I hate not having the ones I love with me :(

    And you are perfectly entitled to miss your guy when he's gone! I hope he returns soon :) xoxo

  3. Awww!

    I am one of those people in a long-distance relationship of which you speak (one year and a half, and a 12-hour London to Hong Kong flight separating us!!)... The boy and I usually see each other every 6 to 8 weeks but after the next time I see him, we wont see each other for nearly 4 MONTHS... I seriously think I will die. I am already starting to get all teary thinking about it, but I console myself by remembering that after that we will be together permanently and we'll probably annoy each other to death when we live together.

    Skype has been my saviour, though. How much longer will IC be away? Can you guys Skype?

  4. I'm already missing the son I wish would get a life and move out. I can't think of the places I want to go, because then I'll have to think of the places my kids won't be.
    On some strange level, I think I understand.
    The guy traveling for work - that I totally get. Married 19 years tomorrow; half of which I've spent alone while he's been away on business. The stuffed animals help.
    Mine is a lion.

    Steal a shirt.

  5. Oh my God we are SO alike! I have already made brunch plans for when I return to L.A.. And already gotten sad about the prospect of not being able to make brunch plans whenever I want if I come back here.

    I DON'T EVEN KNOW when I am going back to L.A. yet! Or for how long. Or if I will end up back in Oz. But I am already planning all of it and prepping the emotional messes.

    (Except when I say goodbye to my parents I bawl every time. And that was when I lived in L.A.. I'm no good at goodbyes.)

  6. im always preparing to miss. my man has been gone for 6 weeks and he's coming for 6 days in a few weeks and i'm already preparing for the goodbye. i hate that i can't just 100% live in the moment. oh well. found your blog thru SITS today, love it!

  7. aww I know just how you feel. Whenever I go home for a visit, I spend the whole time thinking about the airport departure scene. I hate making my parents feel bad, so I put on a brave face. But I've cried more than once as soon as I cleared passport control and their faces disappeared.

    Max will be leaving for 3 months in a few weeks, and I'm not sure how often he'll be able to come home during that time. We've done a year apart before, so 3 months is nothing I guess, but I'm already thinking about how much I'll miss him. Luckily I have Pinch and NoƩ :)

  8. Definitely the hardest part of expat life. When people ask me if I prefer France or the US, I say with my brave face, as Crystal put it, that I have all my family in the US, so it's tough. And that in France I like the bread. No contest there. I don't know if I'll ever stop missing my fam and my culture and maybe I don't want to. It helps maintain my link to them. And I HATE saying goodbye and generally always cry and get blotchy skin. I wish I had the solution but I'm still searching myself.

  9. Yes, it is always a good idea to have one slightly aromatic t-shirt around for emergencies just like this. On the plus side, think of how sweet the reunion will be!

  10. I think it's sweet that you miss him. I didn't so much miss my ex when he was away on business, which should have been a sign :)

  11. I think it is totally natural to miss IC even if he's only gone for a little while. And Just because you are happy in Australia doesn't meet it isn't totally natural to miss home and your parents. You hug that stuffed pengin and hang in there! *hugs*

  12. I hope you get a little something that will help you "miss" less. Missing stuff stinks. (That's my not so deep thought for the day). But it does. When life takes new turns we end up missing people, places...hugs!

    Thanks for stopping by on my special SITS day. All the comment love was greatly appreciated! :)

  13. I know how you feel, as I endured many years of a long distance relationship. And I also know what it's like saying good bye to my parents; it never gets any easier!

    Thanks so much for visiting on my SITS day!

  14. I know that feeling too well. I did a distance relationship for a long time and it was hard.

  15. Emily Jane - Yes, it can't be helped and even when you go back home you miss you're adopted home. Things must be missed!

    The Many Colours of Happiness - He's back! :)

    Oneika - I don't know how you do it. So impressed. As for skyping the internet is really bad at both the hotel he was staying at AND my apartment, so no skype for us. But he's back!

    le chef - First of all, so impressive happy anniversary! And seriously, I don't know how'd you survive with so many business trips.

    Brooke - goodbyes are sooo hard. I think pretending we can "plan" for what we will miss is just kind of a way of processing it.

    Sharde - Thanks for stopping by. It must be so hard to be away from Your Man for 6 weeks at a time.

    Crystal - ME TOOO. I feel like if they knew how homesick I get sometimes they'd make me come home.

    Mil - Exactly, Missing isn't exactly a bad thing. It's just another challenge.

    Susan - Indeed, a lesson I should've learnt by now.

    Sorta Southern Single Mom - HAH! I've been there too!

    Teacher Girl - hahaha poor penguin, I think it got spooned against its will.

    Adrienne - hah! It totally stinks.

    Samantha - Wow - I don't know how you people in a long distance relationships do it.

    Crazy Shenanigans - I can't even imagine!!