Monday, May 30, 2011

Guidelines for Harmonious Living (or GFHLs according to Robin Scherbatsky)

I've never lived with a boy before. Sure, Inspector Climate and I spend a lot of time together - but I've always lived with housemates (or for two years in college, a roommate).  And this has gotten me thinking on GFHLs that should be instated in every living situation. Here are the few I can think of off the top of my head from my experience.

1. Grocery bags (with groceries still in them)/rugs are not for peeing on.  This is just common sense, people.  It is why Moses invented indoor plumbing.

1a.  If for some strange and bizarre reason GFHL 1 is ignored, it is polite to clean up your own pee and not make your roommate do it.  Again, I am certain this goes without saying, no?

2. Unless one's kitchen is equipped with a disposal, sinks are not meant for food. 

3.  I don't care what you say, but wiping down a counter after cooking is in fact easier than trying to cut on bubble wrap.

4. Living rooms are common areas, if you're going to cry out there expect someone to come and ask you what's wrong.  If you'd like privacy - go to your own room.

Ok, so I realise that these were originally supposed to be relegated to you know, instances where you're literally sharing a living space.  But today in yoga, we were practicing doing a forearm stand against the wall and my eyes roamed to the left...and well, I bring you number 5...

5.  I agree with you, bras are uncomfortable.  However, not everyone wants to see your nipple during yoga. There I've said it.

6. For everyone's safety, keep raw meat on the bottom shelf of the fridge so if it drips no one gets ecoli.

Do you have any GFHLs?  Please share!


  1. I guess you're speaking from personal experience with the peeing in grocery bags. Ewww. Who would ever? I guess I don't always put my meat on the bottom shelf. Don't hate me for it. I would add, if you make a mess, clean it up! And if you finish the cookies, don't leave the empty bag in the cabinet and make me think there's some more. (You'll see this on my blog soon.)

  2. Hahaaa..oh, the little truths. Um, that's interesting about the 'pee'..hmmm...

    I will confess, I do lose my bra a lot. On occasion it has ended up in peculiar places. Once I left one at a party, and at school the next day, I saw someone with it on in Art Class. Thankfully, it wasn't my favorite bra.

    I suppose it would be troubling, sleeping with the same fellow every night. At the moment, mine seems to think cuddling and sleeping are the same thing, and I get a bit claustrophobic. All hugged up and then snoozing..when I'm trying to watch TV. The cuteness wears thin, after while.

    I really like reading these adventures.

  3. i've lived with roommates and housemates and boyfriends and even a husband, so i could probably go on forever with this list. but here are a few things off the top of my head:

    1. if it's your turn to take out the trash, don't wait till it's spilling out the top and the dogs are picking leftovers out of it.

    2. if you use a utensil (ie., can opener) and put it back in the drawer after usage, MAKE SURE IT'S CLEAN FIRST.

    3. if you have butthole explosions in the common toilet, have the decensy to give it a scrub, instead of leaving it to harden over the next two months.

    4. if you smoke and your roommates don't, go outside and CLOSE THE DOOR.

  4. Oh, the raw meat thing! My mom didn't do that and I would always find raw meat dripping on cheese, gross!

  5. Ahahaha! Yes. I think we can all agree that pee on grocery bags is a no-no. I would like to add:

    "If the cockroach is in your room, you are responsible for killing it. Screaming till I wake up and kill it is not an effective response."

  6. Number 5 really has me cracking up. Taking out the trash is a biggy (my husband is in charge of that). He would say that I leave my water glasses all around and that peeves him apparently. So funny living with someone and noticing all of their quirks.

  7. I LOVE YOU. We might actually be the same person.
    Let's be BFFs.
    Twitter: @GlamKitten88

  8. Hang up the f*cking wet towels so they DRY.

  9. Knock and WAIT FOR AN ANSWER before opening the bathroom door...

  10. I KNOW I've got examples and yet I can't think of or articulate any of them.

    I blame the fact that the SATC movie is on TV and I'm transfixed in spite of myself. Dammit!

  11. Hahaha, love number 4! That can't be true enough!

  12. Mil - Indeed! It was disgusting! That's a good one - cleaning up after yourself is key!

    Ellie's Desk - I should emphasise that I saw BARE nipple.

    You're Lucky I don't have a gun - AMEN to number 4. AMEN.

    The Blonde Duck - It's disgusting isn't it!

    Sarah Von - Good one! Although, to be fair, I'd probably be the screamer.

    Alexa - I leave water glasses around too (just one), I say it encourages me to drink water.

    Bonnie - I love you!

    Twisted Susan - TOTALLY.

    Laughing Mom - Good one! Definitely key.

    Pretzel Thief - I can totally relate to that!

    Hannah - Yay! So glad you enjoyed them.

  13. So many of these made me think oh my gosh to no way! and pretty much everything in between. You've got tolerance to say the least! Although... yeah, living with others really can be shocking. For me it's usually just been don't smoke inside, wash the dishes within about three days at the latest, etc.

  14. The bra part made me laugh out loud. Its very true! Have a fantastic day, my dear

    Ps: I’m hosting a beautiful stationary GIVEAWAY later today! I bet you will love it!!!

  15. *Don't agree to dog sit a puppy who pees and poops on the floor six times a day and then expect your housemate to clean up after it.

    *Don't throw your housemates belongings into storage while she is on vacation.

    *Do inform your housemate if you intend to throw a party. In the house. When she is home. And working. And does not need a drunk person falling on top of her while she is typing. Or getting naked and sitting beside her while she is typing.

    That said, living with my brother is an interesting adventure.

  16. Eva - Don't smoke inside is a huge one! And there certainly must be a dishwashing rule (I am more of a fan of 24 hours).

    Diana - It's very true. bare nip is inappropriate for yoga.

    Brooke - I hate when naked strangers sit with me while I am working. It's the epitome of awkward!

  17. Amen! These are hilarious - I don't even want to know the story behind rule #1 (eww!!)

  18. I laughed so hard at these. Thank you for reminding that life sometimes can bring so many interesting moments.

  19. #1 - Robin Scherbatsky rocks !

    #2 - I guess all the ladies have said it and I totally agree with You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun on #3 !! Leaving the stain to harden is gross !!

  20. It used to be that same day, but then I was lucky if by three days the dishes were washed. :|