Monday, June 20, 2011

I'm so high. Arms so high? Om sa hi?

There is a song that they play during shavasana at yoga a lot, and I know, I know that during that 10 minutes I should be observing my thoughts and not engaging with those thoughts.  But sometimes, I can't help but carried away by the lyrics.  Which is to say that for the first 30 times I heard the song, I was pretty sure they were saying "I am so high" which seemed weird but I was going to go with it.  And then, that 31st time I thought maybe they're saying "arms so high"  which doesn't really make any more sense, but again, whatever.  And then I thought perhaps it's in sanskrit and they aren't saying anything I'd understand anyway.

Of course, this doesn't stop me from getting the song stuck in my head on a regular basis and then I sing it with alternating choruses of "I'm so high" and "arms so high."

I've gotten carried away.  I have often written about the lows of the Great Expectation Cycle.  The point in time where I haven't gotten the job and I feel desolate and alone like I am never going to get a job or an interview or career and I'm going to spend the rest of my days getting slapped in the face by HR people.  You've read that post.

I don't often write about the post where I can see the possibility of it all.   The point in time where it all opens up to me and I can daydream about how if I got the job I just applied for I'd be able to walk to work - which would be so convenient because clearly Inspector Climate and I would ALSO get the apartment we just applied for which let's us have CATS (3 puppies and a pony) and is free and my blog gets sponsored by Ben and Jerry's and I make my floppity-jillions by waxing poetic to the 10s of people who read this blog and gives me the capacity to live a sustainable life.

And maybe I don't write about it because I get carried away and write really run on sentences.

But that's where I am right now. I am on the brink where I can see all the positive what ifs.  Maybe I will be able to walk to work!  Perhaps there is a little kitten in my future!

So, here I sit up so high (with my arms up (hey ho), obviously), and I think -- I hope -- that this time the Great Expectation Cycle won't swing back down to negative land.  The land where all I can see are the daydreams that, today are so sweet, will be covered and cobwebs and dust.

How high are you?

17 comments:

  1. i love this post. keep thinking positively. dreaming is so important xo

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  2. It's funny how sometimes those wrong lyrics can get stuck in your head more than the right ones!

    I do believe in the power of positive thinking. I also have learned that we don't always get what we want right away, but it means more when we have to work harder for it.

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  3. That is so great! I love that feeling, it's so hard to sit still when so many amazing things are happening! My fingers are crossed for you :)
    Hahaha also what you wrote about rhw song is so funny, I always get lyrics mixed up too! I thought 'I've got my mind set on you' was 'wake up I might sit on you' for years...

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  4. I hope you get all those things you're dreaming off and being positive about!!! Have you tried to google the song and see what the words are?

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  5. Its good to have your own interpretation of lyrics. I think. What ever it takes to get through the day.

    Stay positive. All the best on that apartment..and cute kitten in the future.

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  6. I love the idea of a "Great Expectation Cycle"...it's so true (at least for me) that I go through highs and lows of positivity and dreams for the future. Sometimes, all seems lost and I wallow in self-pity and other times, I get excited about what's to come and what I can do.

    Right now, I'm hovering in the middle. Ask me again when I'm officially unemployed in 2 months :)

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  7. There are definitely moments when I see things clearly and am hopeful. Unfortunately they don't last so long with me. Ben and Jerry's should SO sponsor you. Or a yoga site, since you talk about that a lot.

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  8. The older I get the less optimistic I become. I don't consider myself a pessimist, more a realist. But in all reality- you have to get a job sometime. You seem perfectly employable. It'll happen, just maybe not in the timing you want. But it'll happen. :) Totally been there.

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  9. Ahhh, the eternal emotional cycle. I'm with you my friend. You should hear my sobbing hysterically to Seba, "I SUCK. NO ONE IS EVER GOING TO BE BOOK US AGAIN. We're going baaaankrruuuuupt." And then in five minutes flat, I can go to, "Holy hell! We are kind of awesome! No scratch that, we're totally AWESOME."

    Glad to know that I am not the only one :)

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  10. Thank you visiting my blog and leaving a lovely comment - means a lot to me! :) X

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  11. I am a firm believer in the power of positive thinking, so I am on a permanent high.
    Or, at least, I try to be. Sometimes, the negativity creeps in, but I always engage in an activity that gets me back on the positivity train.

    http://www.glamkittenslitterbox.com/
    Twitter: @GlamKitten88

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  12. i'm so high up there with you. we alternate between "woe is me, we're never getting jobs, we'll be in poverty forever!" and "we're about to land those ridiculously high paying jobs that only ask us to work 20 hrs a week, but pay us $100k a year. maybe next week. maybe tomorrow!!" it's the sweet dreams that keep us going, so despite the disappointment we keep on dreaming. i love your blog.

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  13. Such a cute post! It is so important to daydream and think about the great things that you wish would happen ;)

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  14. The Zadge - that's pretty high!

    Eleanor - Thank you! Yes thinking positively is important, but sometimes I wonder if being slightly more realistic would mean the fall would be less drastic.

    Stephanie - It is funny about lyrics isn't it?

    Many Colours of Happiness - Well, look, they should write a song about the fears and risks of possibly being sat on! :)

    Crazy Shenanigans - I am actually not that interested in the *actual* lyrics.

    Ellie - Thank you!

    Crystal - Exactly, sometimes I think if maybe the highs weren't so high the lows wouldn't be so low?

    Mil - A yoga site! That's brilliant thank you so much for the idea!

    Hannah - yes, I am sure it will happen (I mean look I found some part time work without even applying!).

    Kyle - Definitely NOT the only one.

    Mademoiselle Lala - Thanks for stopping by here!

    Bonnie - Good for you!

    Kimbirdy - I LOVE YOUR BLOG!

    Teacher Girl - Daydreaming is definitely important, I spend a large amount of my time in day dream land.

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  15. I think when we live in the land of limbo, it's really hard to get reality and fantasy to connect (even on some remote level). Things simply seem either too out of reach or too intangible. I find myself daydreaming a lot as I also look for a job and I'm not really sure how much is made up of reality and how much is made up of fantasy.

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  16. Your blog was so funny to me because I was thinking exactly the same thing while I was getting a massage listening to that same song (after seeing my chiropractor). I almost couldn't enjoy my massage because I was so focused on figuring out if she was saying "I'm so high" or "Arms so high".
    It's a mellow song so most likely it's some christian relegous song but nevertheless it sounds good and then it dawned to me that this would be a good lyric to use in some trance or techno mix. But instead using the words "I'm so high", LOL!
    Some ravers would totally relate! hahaha
    I'm actually trying to find the name of the song and artist to let my friend hear it and tell me what he thinks she's saying.

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