Friday, June 24, 2011

On controlling what I can control...

On Monday, I wrote about my unbelievable highs...and as a surprise to no one it was quickly followed on Tuesday by a low.

One of my yoga teachers talks a lot about monitoring your reactions to life.  Since most of the time you can't control what happens, why have such large freakouts.  It's a good argument and every time she makes that point, I leave class with a renewed desire to have a bit more of a sense of humour when things don't go as I hoped.   Which is pretty frequently.

Of course, in the way of the blogosphere, Emily-Jane wrote about it too in her eloquent and honest way.

But recognising how much of my life isn't in my control is a bit disconcerting: I can't control who applies to the jobs I apply, I can't control how many people apply to the apartments I want, I can't control the fact that other housing applicants make more money than I do, believe me, the list of the things that I can't control is long. I mean, I can't control this whole jeggings craze...or socks with sandals.  And that's ok.  (Socks with sandals is not ok).

Of course, it doesn't mean that even these well intentioned thoughts come to fruition.  For example, today.  I went to my Friday morning yoga class as I am wont to do.  And when I left class I turned my phone back on thinking that maybe Inspector Climate messaged me to talk about what we need for dinner tonight.  Instead I had a message.  I tried not to get my hopes up that it might the The Job and as soon as the message started I knew...I was going to want to punch someone in the face.

See, Inspector Climate left for a business trip on Thursday, 9 June.  On that very day, I dropped off an application for an apartment at a lovely place that we were quite smitten with. It ticked all the boxes: location, price, balcony, bathroom that didn't look dirty. CHECK.  I called the real estate agent the following Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday and she never called me back.  On Thursday however, the receptionist told me that the apartment had already been leased.

So, when Ms. I-won't-call-you-back called back today to tell me that the apartment was leased, I wanted to throttle her.  But since I was coming out of the zen that is yoga, I took a deep breath and looked at my actions. I did everything right. I turned in my application in a timely manner, I was persistent in trying to get in touch with them, I was always pleasant and kind on the phone.  So, why be so upset?

ladies and gentlemen
bitches is progress.


  1. I think I have the opposite problem of you. I'm like, "Eh. I can't control anything. So why even bother trying?"

    And then I end up with no apartment lease, but not because they're all rented, just because I never looked for one out of sheer stupidity.

    So for what it's worth, I think that I could use a little more of your controlling style :)

  2. Argh...

    I know its so unfair. A co-worker was almost this one housing place she wants so bad..but NO they let the military person get that apartment instead. So..she's still waiting.

  3. ugh..trying not to freak out about things I can't control has been a battle for me for as long as I can remember. It only seems exacerbated by living in France as well. I understand that somethings defined by the universe cannot be controlled (rain, volcanic ash, the stock market) but what frustrates me is when I run into trouble with other people who COULD be more helpful or more polite or more logical. If my internet gets cut off because I didn't pay the bill that I never received because the postal workers in France are always on strike, THAT makes me mad. I can't control it, but there's no excuse for such stupidity on the part of other people in this world.

    End rant.

  4. I'm such a control freak that this would all just drive me over the edge. I'm totally incapable of being zen about things like that.

    xoxo ~ Courtney

  5. My theory is that you can't plan, cause, or fix most things so just take a deep breath and continue to breathe in and out...

  6. haha, okay, the socks with sandals part made me laugh out loud. i try to have a very open heart with life, so i can be flexible enough to go with the flow. being able to adapt sure helps keep a person happy when life doesn't go your way. but for me, my freak outs about life come from a place of grief. what it boils down to is that i'm sad things didn't go as i had hoped, so i try to be patient with my freak outs, understanding i need to allow myself to grieve a bit before regrouping and moving on.

  7. Oh goodness lady, that is so crap! I hope you find something soon!! The zen attitude is the way to go (even though I'm never able to be zen myself) lol.

  8. Yay for progress!

    PS Jeggings are not OK either.

  9. Yeahhhhh... you hit it on the head. It's the things you have no control over that are the most stressful. If you could take the blame for the bitch not calling you back, then the ball would be in your court. If you could circumvent other applicants for the apt/job, you would have some control. So I don't blame you. I am much, much older than you and I don't have any more patience with it than you do. As we speak I'm waiting for the TV guy to get here who is late after not having tv for almost a month. I could spit.
    Grrrrrrr!!!!! So you see, you're NORMAL.. I'd be a little annoyed if you didn't stress out, I mean WHO has that kind of control?

    Can't believe it's taken me all month to get here. I had a SITS feature on 6/7 and you were kind enough to pop in and comment. The next day we had a lightning hit and my computers were down for almost 12 days. It's taking me forever to visit everyone who visited me. But I don't care, because I want to be sure to spend quality time on each. Thank you for coming over. Hope you find your way back once in a while. It's fun. Keri

  10. I am a HUGE control freak so I hate dealing with things I have no control over. Yuck.

  11. Kyle - I suffer from a little bit of that as well. And then when I do put in effort I overcompensate with the CONTROL FREAKNESS.

    Ellie - Yeah, it's a tough market I think at the moment.

    Crystal - That does make it really hard. But I am trying really hard to not get worked about stuff like that. I fail most of the time.

    Courtney - Hah, I know right. I am not great at it either.

    Laughing mom - breathing is so key.

    Kim - I think I am very similar, and I often don't let myself have the time I need to recover from the rejection that is job and apartment hunting.

    Oneika - Thanks, me too! It's so much easier said then done, isn't!?

    Frisky Librarian - SO TRUE. Say no to jeggings.

    Keri - Yes, seriously tv guys are notoriously annoying.

    Krysten - I know...It does put a bad taste in your mouth doesn't it?

  12. Oh that is so unfair!!!! but you handled it wonderfully. and soon you'll find somewhere even better :) xoxo

  13. Lol, I don't know if I could have done it. I probably would have been mean on the phone when she called.

  14. Ugh, that woman is definitely bad at her job =(
    But you're right. Controlling our response to what happens in our lives is the one thing we can do.

  15. The Many Colours of Happiness - Thank you! It's ok, perhaps it wasn't the perfect place after all :)

    Crazy Shenanigans - Well, luckily it was a phone message, so I didn't have to respond to her personally.

    Teacher Girl - REALLY BAD. I just don't understand it. And then when they DO offer you an apartment they're like "oh well you have to tell us RIGHT NOW"

  16. I definitely overreact sometimes when I should just take a deep breath. Kudos to you for actually TAKING the deep breath.

    That being said, that lady was a jerk in not getting a hold of you.