Monday, September 05, 2011

How we got engaged. Unofficially. Part 1

About two weeks ago, Inspector Climate and I, fresh from our angst after hearing from my lawyer,  realised that how we pictured the time line of our relationship might in fact be very different from the realities with which we are faced.  We started pondering that maybe we should just go ahead and get engaged.

Inspector Climate said he needed to think about it.  Which let's be honest  - is TOTALLY reasonable.  You see, he had always thought that he would propose on our 3rd anniversary (October 2012).  So, feeling like I was being a pushy bitch, I told him that when and if (and only when or if) he was ready, to just ask me and I would stop bringing it up and stop agonising over The Process that is immigrating and just got on with you know, actually immigrating.

One of the things that I have to do is get my fingerprints taken to be sent to the FBI. So I called a few police stations in my 'hood and asked if they had the facilities to go about doing such a thing.  And these police stations directed me to a "centralised booking system" which now deals with all non-criminal fingerprint bookings.  Bear in mind that this part of the visa process was most important to get done quickly because it was going to take the longest, so I called in and they said the earliest appointment they had was in November. NOVEMBER. But they said, don't you fret none because LOTS of police stations will do it for you if you just call and ask (HAHAHAHA, you're funny centralised booking system).

I knew I'd be in Gippsland for my birthday, and I figured that a country town might be more laidback and more likely to ignore this centralised booking system nonsense.  So I called a police station nearest to where The Climates live.

"Of course you can get your fingerprints done here! Just call before you drive down to make sure there hasn't been some crazy crime and there is an officer here"  Officer 'I don't know what I am talking about' said!

Fantastic said I! See you on Saturday.

So, on Saturday, my birthday, I called this police station and asked if I could stop in and the guy was all "haven't you heard, we have moved to a centralised booking system and no longer do non-criminal fingerprints. But I can give you a number if you want?"

"Oh, but the guy at the centralised booking office said that police stations with the facilities to do fingerprints sometimes still do them... AND the officer I talked to a few days ago said that it was fine?"

"Oh yeah, no sorry, we can't - you should try a different station."

And so, I called 5 other police stations.  Who all assured me that the centralised booking system was the way to go, or they didn't have the facilities but other police stations in the areas did.  The 6th police station I called said, that he was pretty sure he could do it, he just had to wait until his superior returned and he'd give me a buzz back.  I waited for an hour for his call, and was getting so frustrated...I tried a 7th a police station.

"Yeah, of course you can get your fingerprints done!"


"Yeah, no problem"

"Are you sure? Because there seems to be some confusion with centralised booking service ... "

"No, I am sure"

"Ok! I'll see you in an hour!"

So, Inspector Climate and I drove for an hour and some minutes to arrive at a police station.  We parked out front, I was nearly clapping with glee and walked inside where the police officer came out and said "oh yeah, sorry, we can't actually do the fingerprints if they're should try the main police station for the area [station #6 who never did call me back], and they should be able to do it."

And so we left said police station, sat in the car in the parking lot and I called that main area police station who assured me that the centralised booking system was what everyone used these days and that they were sorry they couldn't help me.

And as soon as I hung up, I cried. I cried big ugly tears with spit bubbles coming out of my mouth and snot shooting out of my nose in the most unlady like fashion.  I wailed how unfair it is that each and every FUCKING step of this process has to be so hard.  I was distraught, the frustration and the pain and the angst just all came pouring out.

Inspector Climate dutifully rubbed my back and told me it would be ok and I angrily said "It's not going to be ok! Stop saying it's going to be OK! Nothing is ok! This is too hard!"And more spit bubbles.

"I've been thinking...maybe we should get married" he said.

"You're just saying that to make me stop'll do anything to make me stop crying" I sobbed.

Because the truth is...I don't always say the right thing either.


  1. Dude. All those police stations are MESSED UP. WTF. Just help a girl out!

    But... what a story!

  2. That is a story that is hilarious in hindsight, but in the moment makes you want to bust a cap in EVERYONE!!!!!!!! I'm sorry that things have been so complicated, but I think that it really shows how committed you two really are to each other, you know? Some people wouldn't be able to handle it, would think that the relationship isn't worth all the headache and would just pack up and head home.

    You two are SO strong and you're always there for each other each step of this ridiculous ordeal. It's great to see and it's really inspiring. Seriously.

  3. ah! you can't stop the story there and make me wait!! oh the agony! the anticipation! oy!

  4. I second kimbirdy! Cliffhanger!!

    Those Aussie police stations need to get their shiz in order. I would have been crying too!

  5. I am so sorry to hear about all of this, god damn bureaucracy!! I am so angry on your behalf at the Australian police system.

    Ahhh you stopped just as you got to the good bit!!!! Can't wait to hear how the rest of it went own :)

  6. I. Love. This. Story. Seriously, so amazing. I think it is so perfect the way Inspector Climate said that to you.

    Also, are you sure this whole thing with the police stations didn't take place somewhere in Chile? :)

  7. You see I maintain if a man can see you crying complete with snot and uncontrollable dribble and then still asks you to marry him, he is definitely one to hang on to! What a great story

  8. You may look back and realize this was the most perfect engagement ever! So sorry you are going through all these troubles. Hoping it works our soon!

  9. Awwww that's a brilliant story. I want to hear how you reacted!!

  10. This is so awesome. Happy for you two crazy kids :P

    Also, the whole finger printing thing sounds like a nightmare! Ahh! Sorry you have to deal with that.

  11. Don't you just hate bureaucratic red-tape? I can just imagine your frustration... but now I'm anxious to read about part 2 :D

  12. UGh! I hate jumping through hoops! and cliffhangers! hehe

  13. And to think there was a time when people desperate DIDN'T want to emigrate to Australia :)

    Congrats anyway. Pragmatism is a very good reason to get married, since you already know you're crazy about each other.

  14. Duuuuude.


    (I know, I'm a little late to the party, d'oh!)

    As for the coppers, ugh. Stupid bureaucracy!!

    Can't wait to read more!

  15. Krysten - It is so messed up! I can't believe how difficult it is to do something so simple.

    lzdiher - thank you!

    Jehlik501 - Definitely funny in hindsight, but during you're right! Thank you so much about the kind words re: IC and me.

    Kimbirdy - You know how it ends!!

    Teachergirl - It was so frustrating.

    Many Colours of Happiness - Aw, thank you! If you feel like writing them an angry letter, I definitely support that :)

    Kyle - I know, I quite love it myself. And Right on about chile, I felt like I was in some horror movie.

    Selina - That's a very good point!

    Amanda - Quite soon after, I was convinced that it couldn't have happened any other way.

    Emily-Jane - Aw, thank you!

    Shannon - Thank you! It is a total nightmare!

    Azra - Red tape, hoops, it's all awful!

    Faith McKay - Sorry, about the cliffhanger - you know how it ends though! ... We get engaged :)

    Susan - I KNOW right!? Or even like 8 years ago, when it was easy peasy for an American to immigrate here. Oh, how times have changed.

    Pretzel Thief - Thank you!

  16. I'm impressed you hadn't started crying earlier!! (okay, maybe you did but didn't tell us). With all the run-around you were given, I know I would have been breaking out the box of tissues much earlier O:-)

    On to part two!!

  17. I would have lost it in front of the police guy who had you drive an hour only to be told sorry no.

  18. What craziness! All for a simple thing like fingerprints. They need to get their act together.