Friday, October 28, 2011

I need a bigger plate or a new set of ovaries. Your choice universe.

So, hi, let's commence with a slight rant shall we?  I'm very sorry it has to happen this way, the ranting that is. But I'm a bit scared, severely overwhelmed, and procrastinating on writing a cover letter.

In my last post, I mentioned that I had to go in to get a second internal ultrasound and a couple of you were like "um, why?"  So, let's recap shall we?

My ovaries seem to be a bit on the fucked up side. There I said it.  Since about mid August I've had severe episodes of pain in my ovary/uterus/reproductive organ area.   Well, I've had the pains for few months before that as well, but it was/is getting worse, and I went to the ER and they sent me home after doing nothing.  The last two times have been well, to quote Inspector Climate "you're writhing in pain, unable to move, your body is completely spasming, and this last time the blood rushed out of your extremities leaving you with no feeling in them and you're panicking - that's not normal."  In other words, it HURTS, yo.

(This is what I do, and possibly why doctors didn't take me quite as seriously previously to this last episode - I jest about the pain because if I don't, I cry. And I am not a huge fan of crying in front of strangers).

And so, yesterday I went to have a second ultrasound because in the first one the ultrasound guy said this "you have blood around your left ovary, it's probably nothing but I need you to come back in 7 weeks to make sure it's gone"... however, that is NOT what he said this time. This time he said, "Last time you were here we discussed that there was the possibility that you have endometriosis and we're seeing if our hunch was correct previously"... he said while I was splayed out on the table with my legs spread and not pants on and then proceeded to shake my hand which one of the more awkward moments in my life.

Well, apparently his hunch was correct because he is now nearly 100% certain that I have endometriosis.  Yay for a diagnosis.  Boo for endometriosis.  I have an appointment with my doctor for Monday which will hopefully give me a better idea of what we're going to do to help me (the technician seemed confident that key hole surgery was in my future).

Stop being on the fritz, ovaries. I don't have the time for this right now.

I feel extremely overwhelmed.  As you know, I am getting married in less than two weeks and while that in itself doesn't scare me at all, it is something that I have penned into my date book.  My booking for my fingerprints is the day after Inspector Climate and I get married (I know how to PARTY).  I've got jobs I'm applying for and interviewing for (and getting calls like this "we're keeping your application on hold because you're a strong candidate but we're waiting to hear back from our first choice candidate FIRST"  Nothing makes me feel more like Toby Ziegler than being told I'm the second choice). I'm working two days a week, I have two vacations planned for the next two months and I don't really feel I have time for doctor's appointments (which I have UP THE WAZOOO) and possibly surgeries or not being able to function for 36 hours because of a pain episode.

Plus you know, making time for the things that relax and refuel me like knitting, yoga, baking, and blogging.  I'm simply just overwhelmed.  I'm sorry about that, too.


  1. oh honey, i'm so sorry all of this has piled up on you at the same time. that does sound overwhelming! i know i'm an ocean away, but let me know if there's anything i can do {listen to more rants, show up at endometriosis's door and punch it in the ovaries, etc.}. sending you lots of hugs {and a real live package in the mail}.

  2. Awww, I'm sorry. Honestly, I never doubt that women are the stronger sex, no way could men cope with all this stuff.

    I hope you get some decent information soon, having to deal with this at the same time as a job hunt is really the pits. (Been there in a previous life, it was rugged.)

    Sending you a cyberhug,

  3. Oh gosh I'm so sorry to hear that, sweetie. Sending you lots of strength and hugs xoxo

  4. Boo to doctors and ultrasounds and endometriosis and WHY THE HELL WOULD HE SHAKE YOUR HAND THEN?!?!?! Argh. Incidentally, the spellcheck wants me to change endometriosis to anthropometrics. Yes, because THOSE are similar words... #what

    As much as it's an epic suckfest, at least you now have a diagnosis rather than you being in massive amounts of pain and them going "Huh. Interesting..."?


  5. that really sucks. my friend is going through the exact same thing and it's driving her insane. she has spent far too many hours of her time reading crappy magazines in doctor's waiting rooms.

    fingers and toes crossed that your body in kind to you on your wedding day.

  6. Now I've got image of plates and ovaries...

  7. I can imagine you are ovewelmed but good thing is that they found what's wrong and can be treated,Hang in there

  8. Showing my age, I think: who is Toby Ziegler?

  9. Oh you poor baby. I wish you could get hugs from your mama right now. I'm sending them as Aunt Sue instead. Thinking of you. So much good, and so much discomfort at the same time!

  10. Oh my, I'm so so sorry you're going through all that. But at least now you know what is causing the pain. I hope you're able to get some relief and soon!

  11. I am so sorry! What a terrible situation. :( At least now you know what it is and you get do whatever you have to to treat it and bring yourself some relief. I agree with thepreppyprincess in that women are definitely the stronger sex, you will be okay and you will get through it. Try to focus on the happy positive things in your life like your wedding. That is the most special thing! I'll send some prayers for you.

  12. oh no :( I´m so sorry, hopefully things end up smoother than you think. Fuerza!

  13. I hope that you get some relief from whatever course of treatment you decide upon. I would send you my ovaries as they aren't exactly doing anything in my body, but you probably want a functioning pair!

  14. I'd be totally in the state of shock. I do hope you get the correct treatment, etc. and are on the mend soon.

    I hope the wedding plans are shaping up beautifully and you will find some time to roast those chic peas.

    I saw a recipe in Good Housekeeping today about roasting chic peas and sweet potatoes..I thought of you.

  15. Oh you poor thing :( you really do have a lot on your plate right now. I wish I could give you a hug right now, but a virtual hug will have to do. *virtual hug*

  16. When it rains it pours :( I'm so sorry to hear that you're dealing with this endomitri-craponyourparty stuff right now. But at the same time, it does have to be a little relieving that at least they know what it is and can therefor properly deal with it? Right?

    Your story about shaking the guy's hand reminds me of the preview for that new movie with Anna Faris. minute: 2:15 ish but watch the whole thing, it looks hilarious.

  17. I am so sorry for this but as other have said at least you have a proper diagnosis now and the doctors can plan a course of action to treat you!!!

  18. 1. Congrats on your upcoming nuptials! This should be a happy time for you, not one riddled with angst over your health concerns.

    2. I understand what you are going through. At 15 I was diagnosed with dysmenorrhea, and I probably have endometriosis because I have all the symptoms. I've had several cysts. It's no fun at all. I would be in severe pain, so bad that I couldn't work or go to school. All I could do was lie in the fetal position and moan. They put me on birth control at the age of 15! That helped a bit, at first. I wish you the best getting this all figured out!

  19. I am sending you good thoughts and lots of blogger hugs. I can't imagine you having to go through all that, makes me sad!

  20. *sigh* at least now you know what it is. Damn ovaries. I have poly cystic ovaries and there is *some* random pain now and then, but for the most part, I'm in denial and would rather pretend that nothing's wrong - for now.

  21. Oh I'm so sorry to hear that :( That sounds absolutely awful. Keeping you in my thoughts and hoping things get better for you fast!

  22. That is such a lot to deal with all at once. I hope you get something more solid soon and you're able to move forward from there. Sending you lots of happy positive thoughts.

  23. I'm so sorry to hear about all of this! What a time for this to happen! Focus on your wedding, then do what the doc's say. You need to take care of yourself!!!

  24. Aww, that sounds awful! Hope you have a relaxing weekend to get rid of some of the stress!

  25. I am so sorry to hear this news. It sounds like you have been overwhelmed for quite some time now, and to have all of this happen on top of your wedding is cruel and unusual punishment.
    Honestly, if you ever need anyone to talk to about this health stuff, I'm here. I have a LOT of experience in this area. (Hello, diagnosis of liver disease at 19 years old.) I completely understand how difficult it can be.
    I'm sending you only the best!
    Twitter: @GlamKitten88

  26. Ugh, I am so, so sorry :( That is definitely a lot to handle. I hope you are at the very least able to get to a point where you aren't writhing in pain on the regular anymore. That's just dreadful.

  27. Wow, I am so sorry to hear about the diagnosis and the health issues! I feel you pain (as you know) with having to make all these doctor's appointments and not having the time. I still have not been officially diagnosed for my own reproductive system issues. I will definitely be keeping you in my prayers and I hope that things are at least calm for your upcoming wedding. *hugs!!!*

  28. Kimbirdy - Aw thank you so much! I'd love you to punch endometriosis's ovaries! That would be FANTASTIC. (and also, PACKAGE! YAY!).

    The Preppy Princess - Thank you so much! it's just been...exhausting!

    the Alternative Wife - Thank you!

    Melbourne on my mind - It was soooo awkward - it was like he was congratulating us for finding the diagnosis together. I just wish I had been wearing pants.

    SJ - SO much time in waiting rooms, it's sooo unnecessary!

    Token - It's a lovely image isn't it?

    Dzoli - Yes, having a diagnosis is a good thing - sadly the treatment possibilities aren't what I hoped.

    The Zadge - You never watched West Wing!?!?!

    Susan Walsh - Me tooo!!! Thank you!

    Date Girl - Totally knowing what is causing it is some relief in itself.

    Alexa Rae Stone - Thank you!

    Catherineelise - Hope so!

    Laughing Mom - Hilariously enough - I don't want a functioning pair!

    Ellie - Aw, thanks! Have you tried them yet? Delicious!

    Many Colours of Happiness - Aw, thank you so much that is so sweet!

    Kyle - Yes, it was exactly like that. SOOOO awkward.

    Oneika - Yes, knowing what is causing it is certainly a bonus. I just wish I had some idea of when an episode will strike.

    Sara - Ugh, I am so sorry you've been having to deal with this for so long! It is so sucky.

    Krysten - It's exhausting. I just wish I could know when it was coming you know?

    Azra - Yes, I did that for quite some time, but these pain episodes can't be ignored.

    Skippysays - Thank you!

    Vanisha - Thanks.

    Happy Little Trees Studio - it's not quite as simple as that, I mean it could be that I have an episode and can't attend my getting married ceremony.

    Kate - Thank you!

    Bonnie - Yes, I thought of you when I got the diagnosis, thinking of all you've been through (and sara too).

    Angela - me too! It's really awful and now every place I go I think of an exit strategy in case an episode comes.

    Teacher Girl - It sucks doesn't it! And I don't even want to USE my reproductive system, which is just cruel.

  29. First of all I'm sorry to hear this but at least you know what's going on now. Second, I loved the West Wing reference! That was my favorite show!!!

  30. I have endometriosis too. It sucks.

    Luckily, you and the Inspector don't want kids. I do. So when I write blog entries that are all boohoo about not having kids, you'll know why.

    We can be endo-commiserating partners.

  31. I'm sorry to hear that life is tough. Hopefully things will look up, or more accurately, have looked up. :)