Thursday, October 13, 2011

Well, that was a slap in the face...followed by a kick in the stomach

Remember when I was all, this blog created opportunities for me and yay two job interviews.  Well, neither of those panned out.  And, why yes, I am devastated.

And before you get all Inspector Climate on me, yes, I can see the silver lining.  I had two job interviews, they went really well. I was myself in both of them, was knowledgeable and both interviewers said I was a strong candidate.  And yes, this kind of emphasised that what I'd like to be doing with my life is combining social media with environmental not-for-profits. And that's pretty huge in itself.  I get it.

I also get that I am completely heartbroken.  See this is what happened.  The first job interview happened so fast, I read the description sent in a coverletter and was asked to come into an interview THE VERY NEXT DAY.  I went to the interview, I rocked it.  The interviewer told me he definitely wanted me to come in to meet the CEO and that basically they'd just be ironing out the details after that.  He even emailed me before the weekend to tell me not to panic because I hadn't heard from them, but he was going to be out of office early the next week and that he'd get in touch shortly.  Sounds promising doesn't it?  Almost dare I say it, like a job offer?

Meanwhile, I emailed my dream job to say, "hey look, I got offered a second interview somewhere else, but I'd much prefer to work with you, so what's the status of my application."  And they said, come in for an interview.  And I did.

Days went by, and I hadn't heard from interviewer #1 so I emailed to see how things were going...they decided to shift things around internally and not hire anyone at all.   But I was a "strong candidate" and they hope I'll apply again if they re-advertise in the future.  Um, ok. 

And more days went by, and I emailed the dream job to check in - I was not going to let this one slip by - but they too had passed.  "You interviewed really well, I can't really give you any feedback, some of the other candidates were just bet...more experienced." She said on the phone.

I was at work when she called and I had to hold it together for hours before I could head home.  By the time I was off the train and walking towards my apartment, I was biting my lip and coming to terms to the fact I was about to have a major sob fest on the streets of Melbourne. By the time, I had shut the door on my apartment the hacking sobs had arrived accompanied by tears and the occasionally blurted out swear word.

I'm devastated. Jobs like those don't come around all the time, those job descriptions, it was like they wrote them with me in mind.  And yet, here I sit knowing yet again that November is probably going to come and go and I'll unemployed for the third year in a row.  That's how I roll, I get a job in April and it all ends in November.  I wanted so badly to break the cycle. I wanted so badly to not have to worry on embarking on this new married life relying on only one income which isn't mine.  I wanted to finally start working at a job that I loved with people who are kind but also as passionate about this stuff as I am.

And instead, here I am facing unemployment again.  I know in a few days or maybe next week I'll be able to pick up the pieces and start applying for jobs again.  It may only be hours from now. But until then I just need to grieve for the opportunities lost and the dreams that have crumbled.


  1. Sorry. :( I hope you get a job you like, not that my sentiments will do much for you, but I had a really crappy day and I'm feeling a lot of empathy right now... Good luck.

  2. That sucks. A lot... :( I know all too well the misery of not getting jobs that you desperately want and ending up in tears. Only last time that happened to me, I didn't even get to interview stage.

    It occurs to me that now that I'm back in Melbourne, we should have an unemployment pity party. That is, if you're not against meeting random internet strangers!! ;)

  3. That's totally awful! I definitely think those employers, especially the first one, led you on. So unfair to get your hopes up!

    I definitely understand not getting the jobs you want and settling for the jobs that are there.

    Good luck with the job search! I'll be thinking of you!

    ~ Angela

  4. I am so sorry hun! =( I will keep thinking postive thoughts for you. Hang in there. It WILL happen one day, I know it.

  5. That sucks. I doubt it helps to quote what my old gran used to say to me in times like this (when she did, I had to stifle the urge to stuff a pillow over her face), "What's for you, won't go past you."

    Irritating moo was usually right..

  6. I am so sorry!!! I hope things get better :)

    thanks for the sweet comment


  7. i'm so sorry to hear this. it's fair enough that you thought you had a job offer, sounds like the first company gave you every reason to think so. i had this happen to me a lot when i lived in london and it drove me crazy, it leaves you feeling so stressed and emotionally drained.

    chin up tiger, something will come up, i'm sure of it!

  8. Sorry your dream didn't pan out. I wish it did. I can feel your disappointment so strongly in your writing. The only comfort I can offer is that later in life, you'll look back at this time and know that it was all part of the journey towards that current job you love. Persevere and you'll triumph.

  9. I can't say this enough--job hunting is so, so much like dating. And on the bright side (yup), you have at least got that area of your life very, very sorted out, girl! I mean, come on! You are getting MARRIED! I know the two things are not related at all, and the one thing doesn't change how you feel about the other, but from my perspective here on the other side of the world, you have got a whole lot to be happy about.

  10. So sorry to hear about the great disappointment. If it weren't for hundreds of people applying for every opening, I'm sure you would have been a shoe-in! Hang in there.
    And yes...looooved 'Wicked'. Second time I'd seen it. : )

  11. (((Hugs))) That truly sucks!! I'll keep my fingers crossed a new job comes along so good it blows those other two out of the water.

  12. Hopefully, you are still on their list. I'm sure you are. Here in the states, its taking longer to get through the interview process.

    I had a friend who started at Wal-Mart..she'd even worked for them before..and still had to go through 4 interviews.

    Here, you'll read job opportunties..get excited..think its gonna happen and it doesn't. They'll decide..oh six months from now..try again. So our economy isn't exactly giving the used too.

    Hang in there. Volunteer. Keep in touch with past co-worker. Keep networking. You just never know where that door might open.

    And keep blogging!

  13. Boy do I hate when they shift things around internally.

    I'm sorry you've had this disappointment just as you are looking forward to your wedding. It stinks, and it's hard, and there's no good reason for it! You would have kicked ass in either of those jobs!

    Have faith, this too shall pass. And Diary of Why is right. Gratitude will see you through.


  14. Goodness gracious lady, I'm sorry to hear this but I feel your pain. I'm unemployed right now and not looking very forward to the job search in London. At least you have your upcoming nuptials to look forward to.. :-) Bright side!

  15. Oh man darling that is so frustrating. If it makes you feel any better (maybe it won't) I am in such an annoying work situation and have been for the past four years. Honestly I'd have to come visit you and take you out for a long dinner to explain the whole story, but just know that I sympathize. It's tough out there.

  16. This is a good thing! Trust me! Every job I didn't get (in my 32 years of working!), that I cried about just like you, I realized later on was for a good reason because a better path opened up.

    Oh geez, I sound like a grandmother. Just trust me - I'm a rockin' 47 year old with a kick ass career who was YOU 25 years ago. You will not only be fine, you will be GREAT!

  17. I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out :( But I agree with some of the other commenters - there WILL be other opportunities, and you ARE getting married in less than a month which is awesome! Give yourself the time to mourn the job that never was, then get back out there and find one that is. You can do it.

  18. I know that right now nothing will really make it seem better than it is. Sometimes you just have to be upset and then have a really good sleep and I promise things will seem better in the morning and if not tomorrow some day soon. Your an awesome lady and I am sure a job is just around the corner for you.

  19. Stay strong girl.. When that kind of things happen to me I always try to think positive, and I say that that job probably would suck, or my boss would be awful, or I would have to work all day long and have small salary.. I think that kind of thinking helps me always, so I hope it will help you, too.. Sending you hugs..

  20. I'm so sorry...this must be so hard for you. Hopefully there will be something else soon that will be even better and put those other jobs to shame.

    Good luck <3

  21. So sorry to hear your frustrations. Hang in there and know that something better has to be around the corner for you!

  22. I know the feeling! Went through a very similar thing two weeks ago. I was heartbroken too, but that's okay! (as long as you don't stay heartbroken forever!)!


  23. My heart is breaking for you. I'm so sorry neither of these panned out. I know it hurts especially bad knowing you would have loved them and they weren't just jobs to pay the bills. I really hope something good comes along soon and the interviewers can see all you have to offer. Hang in there!!!

  24. Ugh that absolutely sucks. I'm sending you lots of good vibes and hoping you find something amazing soon.

  25. ha, just did a post like this. it is definitely just no fun what so ever. the job market is unbelievable right now. and makes me so grateful for the job that i did have before making the move out to UT. but trust me, as long as you keep an upbeat personality, you will start to feel better and more optimistic. at least that is what works for me! everything will be okay!
    xo TJ

  26. Not getting your dream job sucks... and so does interviewing. This is one of the reasons I tried to gain the courage to start my own business, which isn't any easier. Have you tried to speak with someone about possibly interning where you would like to work? This is a great way to gain some experience and put your foot in the door. Also, if you intern at a place you would love to work, you are more likely to be hired than someone they are not familiar with.

  27. I'm sorry hun! Jobs are so hard to come by these's so rough. But you did say you were at work when you heard the news? Or are you not working right now? ANyway, thanks for your comment hun and I wish you the best of luck with the job search!

    The House of Shoes

  28. I'm so sorry about this loss. Funny enough I know EXACTLY how you feel re: wanting to break the cycle. I always seem to get a job that ends in August. Then getting another one is a schlep because I have to rush...if I leave it too long very few people hire from October to January. All I can say is that hopefully you'll find something better soon.

  29. kirinjirafa - Aw, I hope you're feeling better too! And a bit of empathy is all that's needed :)

    Melbourne on my mind - Normally I don't get to the interview stage either, this was an exception.

    Angela - It was really unfair! I felt really jipped.

    Teacher Girl - Thanks! I know it will happen too.

    Shrinky - Yes, I believe that's true too - but it certainly doesn't make the pain of rejection any better.

    Carrie - thank you!

    SJ - Yes, it's SO hard to keep being positive when rejection keeps slapping you in the face!

    Mrs Catch - Well, I am pleased to hear that my writing came across well!

    DiaryofWhy - SO MUCH LIKE DATING. But at least with dating it can be a more mutual decision of this isn't working out. The job hunt the rejection is pretty one sided.

    M.L - It is RIDICULOUS how many of people apply for things.

    Junebug - THANK YOU. I hope you're right.

    Ellie - Yes, I am still in both their databases. The economy isn't quite as bad here - but still usually at least 150 people apply for each position.

    Susan Walsh - I know, that was the real slap in the face...poor organisational skills doesn't make me want to work with them in the future! I have lots to be grateful for, it's true!

    Oneika - Well, if you need any moral support or someone to read coverletters, give me a yelL!

    Alexa - Please come visit! I'd love to hear about it. have you been looking for a new job too?

    The Zadge - Thank you! This comment really lifted my spirits (and I usually hate the glass half full crap when I am in a bad mood, so that says A LOT).

    Crystal - Yes, some time to mourn was definitely needed...hopefully something new and awesome will become available.

    Megan - I hope so - I've been saying the right job is around the corner for a couple of years now though!

    Marina - Thank you! I like to wallow in the sad for a bit before thinking positive.

    Angela - I hope so too! Thank you!

    Cassie - I hope so! Thank you!

    It seems pretty obvious - Hah! No, not heartbroken forever.

    Sarah Kate - Thank Sarah Kate - that was definitely the most devastating part, I mean these were jobs that were going to be fulfilling.

    Krysten - thank you! I really appreciate that!

    Mr Taylor and his lady - Yes, it's pretty crazy in Australia too - definitely makes me just want to start my own business.

    Wear the canvas - Thanks for the tips, I've done heaps of volunteering and interning in the past few years.

    Sara Shoemaker - I'm working two days a week at the moment.

    Azra - it's a horrible cycle isn't it! I hope you find something soon toO!

  30. oh honey, i am so sorry! that is heartbreaking and devastating. it does remind me of some advice a friend gave me when i was looking for a job. i had applied several times to the eating disorder clinic and i just felt this gut feeling that it was perfect for me, but i had missed the voicemail asking me to come in for an interview, and the next time i applied it had been met with total silence. i thought it was over and i was completely broken, sick to my stomach that i had come so close and nothing had worked out. i was talking to a friend who had been unemployed for 1.5 years. he finally landed his job because he made a point to keep in touch after his first interview {which ended with them telling him just what they told you - they liked him, but didn't have a position for him}. he continued to write and call about the fact that he was still really interested in working for their company, that he was passionate about what they did and thought he would be a great contributor. eventually, many months and several more interviews later, that company did give him a job - a really awesome job! his advice to me was to keep in touch. to continue to reach out about my passion and interest in the clinic. that was just what i did, and after my third application, i landed an interview and the job. so i know everyone's experience is different, but your situation just sounds so familiar that i have a lot of hope for you. it may not happen as soon as you'd like, which is really frustrating, but i think that a company who initially reached out to you, then did everything short of give you the final paperwork to sign, is extremely promising for your near future. don't let them forget you or all your amazing qualities. keep yourself at the front of the line by grabbing coffee with someone you met there, or keeping in touch by phone/emails. i know you'll get something. it's impossible that you'll be unemployed for the rest of your life. it's more a matter of time to build up good contacts, and i think you have a really amazing lead here. so let yourself be heartbroken for a little while, but then take a step back and see the advantage that you have with this company {and their network of companies}.

  31. I'm sorry these didn't pan out -- especially when they seemed custom designed for you.

    Hoping you're back out there, finding positions that could make you happy <3

  32. Aw, I'm sorry that neither one didn't pan out.

  33. Oh Deidre I'm so sorry. I wish I could make it better. Fuck that sucks! Ohhhhhh I'm so mad at them! Fuckers don't they know how much they can play around with someone's life.
    What a bunch of jerks.
    I'm so sorry. I can feel your anger and sadness all the way over here.
    Keep up the good fight my love.

  34. Hi, hopping by from the Lots of Lovin’ Weekend Blog Hop. I am your newest GFC follower. I hope that you can stop by and follow me too!! Thanks, Erin

  35. I am so sorry about the job. My daughter is going thru something like this as well. She's still in college though so she still lives with us and doesn't have to worry about bills and stuff but it still sucks not having income. But hey, maybe you were meant to make money with your blog? Have you thought about that? I see you have a good following and you are a good writer. You are very talented. Who knows what is in store for you. Keep being positive, concentrate on your health and the upcoming nuptials and everything will turn out all right :)