Tuesday, November 22, 2011

NaBloPoMo day 22: Jorge, you little prankster

About two weeks ago, I started seeing an OBGYN who we were hoping was going to be like "Let's get Jorge out RIGHT NOW" while the cast from Scrubs sang a song in the background and I was wheeled into the surgery room.  But alas, apparently although it is "only key hole" surgery it takes at least two weeks to recover and can take up to six weeks.  Plus, my doctor wasn't convinced that Jorge was causing all my pain.  Sure he was fucking with my period, but those pain attacks where I can barely walk for 24 hours afterwards and I'm exhausted for at least 48? The doc wasn't convinced that little Jorge could be found guilty for those, too.

So, he sent me out to get some blood work done (I had to go to another person to get my blood taken. Because obviously, a doctor couldn't DARE take your blood or have you pee in a cup while you're, you know, THERE SEEING THE DOCTOR. Ahem, I'm so annoyed by this system, no one seems to know or do anything themselves and I keep having to get referred to different places over and over again for things like blood work - is this how it is where you live or is this an Australian phenomenon). My blood work came back funky. Apparently, my bilirubin was acting out. Oh, you silly bilirubin (I just like saying bilirubin. Go ahead, say it. I promise your mouth will enjoy it. Bilirubin!).  So I had the tests again.

And then my OBGYN wanted to see me again, only to refer me to someone else because he was concerned about my kidney and liver function due to said bilirubin (biliruben!) (how bored are you guys right now?) and insisted that I go get an ultrasound to check on said organs.

Which by the way an external ultrasound on my upper tummy seemed WAY more personal than the internal ultrasound sans pants.  I don't know why that is, perhaps because of the internal ultrasound involved no technician - patient touching where as the external ultrasound there was contact. I don't have all the answers, ya'll.

(also, as yet another aside, Inspector Climate has been coming with me to get the scary internal ultrasounds because he's lovely like that.  And he couldn't believe that all these men were accompanying their partners to get ultrasounds. He kept saying "All of these women can't have such loyal boyfriends" it wasn't until I pointed out that they were ALL PREGNANT and that their partners were there to see the images of their baby that it clicked for him).

But because my OBGYN only deals with lady bits, he wanted me to see some one who understood my organs (um, which I thought would be any doctor, but apparently I was mistaken as my OBGYN seemed hesitant to even pose POSSIBLE diagnosis because he was not an "expert", whatever doc, you went to medical school, I'm sure they talked about bilirubin a couple times).

(I know I can't believe I'm still talking about this either).

And so, I told yet another doctor about Jorge, the possibility of their being another cause to my pain attacks aside from Jorge (Bilirubin!).  And yet another doctor who sent me home telling me I was fine, Jorge seemed to be the sole problem and that I might just be one of those people who have funky bilirubin (ie people with Gilberts Disease) (bilirubin).  He was all "there are no signs of liver disease (hadn't known that was a possibility!) and you're organs are fine."

Oh Jorge, you had everyone going there for a while. You really did.

I know I seem a bit mean to my doctor here, but he actually is a really nice guy and I think he is being super thorough, that doesn't mean that I don't get frustrated with all the tests and referrals particularly for things like blood tests which I feel like any doctor could take my blood without sending me somewhere else first, surely they learned THAT in med school?



  1. The US is all about referrals too. In fact, the thought of not having to get referrals pretty much blows my mind. In fact, I didn't know there was such a thing. ;p

  2. Feel better soon! I hate this referral thing as well. I haven't been able to see and endocrinologist and it has been months =(

  3. I hate when that happens..i don't know why the process to see a specialist cannot be stream-lined!

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  5. 'Bilirubin' sounds like something you say into a mirror at a sleepover and then a crazy woman appears and eats your heart or something...

    ANYWAY. Sorry that Jorge is still being a whiny little bitch. Hopefully you can get him taken care of soon and without too many additional trips to get poked and prodded!

  6. It's crazy where I am too although I have finally found one medical clinic that will take blood at the same site as the doctor (though of course not in the same room, by the actual doctor) I am seeing a gastro specialist on Monday after three months of buggerising around.
    It's definitely not an easy process!

    I hope they sort Jorge out for you soon!

  7. I wish Jorge would just get with the program! I'm sorry that it's been this way for you. I was supposed to have bloods done last year but the nurse who was to do it was such a cow I left. I've been giving the marching orders from my doctor to go back and get it done! Blehh...

  8. Urg, so many doctors!

    Very sweet of Inspector Climate to go with you. :)

  9. Oh man, that sounds like a frustrating experience, but I love the Scrubs reference!

  10. I hope you get a definitive diagnosis and solution soon! The back and forth is such a headache.

    On a potentially brighter note, your post now has the song "Bilirrubina" by Juan Luis Guerra stuck in my head - I can't get on YouTube at work, but I suggest looking for it, as it's very catchy.

  11. aww I hope you feel better soon!

  12. holy man biliburen is weird. And I think we should change Inspector Climate's name to Husband Climate!

  13. So Jorge was on trial all this time and it turns out he may be innocent... and now some dude named Bilirubin is the main suspect? ;) Hope they figure it out soon!

  14. ok. I feel bad for laughing. but I can't help it, silly girl:-) What a meanie that Jorge is! I soooo hope you start feeling better though. Doctors/Medicine/Hospitals can all be so frustrating. xoxo

  15. Marla - I hate that! I guess I just never had any real medical issues in the US to know.

    Teacher Girl - STILL! Ugh, I am so sorry.

    Mrs Pancakes - I know right, but it doesn't matter now. I think I've seen all the specialists!

    Melb on my mind - Jorge is such a whiny a little bitch. So demanding. Le sigh.

    Kate Sparkles - Ugh, I am so sorry! That is awful. I just don't understand it, it doesn't seem like they've made the process any more efficient, does it?

    Vanisha - Ahh, good luck!

    Prixie - Yes, he is very sweet.

    Jess - SEriously some neurotic doctor's would totally make this experience more fun!

    Emily - I will DEFINITELY be checking out Bilirrubina. That sounds like just what I need.

    Pop CHampagne - thank you! I've been feeling much better the past few days.

    Sentimental suitcase - Hah, I'll ask him, but the INspector part is from when he was wee kid and loved inspector Gadget!

    Azra - That was basically the case, but as it turns out, the bilirubin was actually just a red herring and Jorge IS to blame.

    Bon Bon - Laughing is TOTALLY ok. Jorge is a jerkface.

  16. Man! Even worse that being sick is not knowing what the heck is making you sick! Argh! On the other hand, thanks so much for teaching me that new word. New Facebook status, anyone??? ;-)

  17. That's totally how the system is here as well. And it makes everything take forever. It is good to hear your doctor's thorough though! I hope this all gets cleared up soon.

  18. how ANNOYING!!!! I hope that you can get this all figured out soon!!