Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Lessons learned from Jorge (one of many)

For the past couple of weeks, my stomach has been in various levels of, how does one put this delicately, bloated. It's not pretty and it's uncomfortable.

What we've noticed however, and this is science y'all, that how grouchy I am (recently very) is proportional to how bloated my stomach is.  To demonstrate this best, and scientifically, I've created a graph.

Don't be alarmed by its level of complexity, it's really quite simple.


Unfortunately, I've been hovering between the "Wow the elastic on my pants is digging into my belly" and "I swallowed a basketball. That's so awkward" marks.  The "I swallowed a basketball. That's so awkward" phase is also sometimes called "Congratulations on your baby."  Both are not ideal and don't feel great.

In fact, sometimes it's so huge that Inspector Climate talks to my belly and tells Jorge to get outta there!  (me thinks this isn't the normal "belly talk" that married couples do. But I don't know for sure).

And so, what we've learned is that bloating leads to grouchy pants. 

What have you learned recently?

15 comments:

  1. I learned that I'd rather be a cow grazing in some English Pasture than be here right now.

    Sorry to hear about your Jorge woes. Hope you get better soon!

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  2. Jorge you really need to get a life! Come on out buddy!

    I've learnt that it's Tuesday today. I thought it was Thursday!

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  3. I'm sorry that Jorge is acting up but damn you are so creative with that graph! I love the way you think, lady!

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  4. Ugh no fun!

    I learned that when tattoos get itchy I react badly lol.

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  5. I've learned it's best to just avoid wearing pants altogether. I prefer large flowery muumuus——no uncomfortable elastic waistbands to deal with and the colorful print takes the focus away from my bloated midsection.

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  6. Think outside the box. Perhaps grouchy pants leads to bloating. All the more reason to be happy all the time (for Inspector Climate's sake)!

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  7. Sorry to hear about Jorge, but your grouchiness scale cracked me up. Once again, I do hope that he ceases to plague you.

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  8. =( Boo Jorge, boo! Be gone!
    I am so sorry that you are bloated and grouchy, but, you should know that the bit about IC listening to your belly cracked me up. That is both cute and silly. Feel better soon!

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  9. Bloated Tummy? I had that a while back like everything I ate I bloated like a watermelon. Unfortunately for me it wound up being I had bad gall bladder. I would definitely go to the doctor to make sure your ok!! =)

    I hope your feeling better & not so grouchy!! =)

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  10. THIS CRACKS ME UP. And I also have the same issue right now. I want to go see a dr but it's exxy and I've brought it up with past doc's before and it's lead nowhere. Hmph. Lemme know if you come up with a solution.

    "Think outside the box. Perhaps grouchy pants leads to bloating. All the more reason to be happy all the time (for Inspector Climate's sake)!" This is a valid point.

    I find exercise and avoiding sugary foods helps me. But sometimes nothing is allowed in my belly if I want to avoid the bloat.

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  11. THIS CRACKS ME UP. And I also have the same issue right now. I want to go see a dr but it's exxy and I've brought it up with past doc's before and it's lead nowhere. Hmph. Lemme know if you come up with a solution.

    "Think outside the box. Perhaps grouchy pants leads to bloating. All the more reason to be happy all the time (for Inspector Climate's sake)!" This is a valid point.

    I find exercise and avoiding sugary foods helps me. But sometimes nothing is allowed in my belly if I want to avoid the bloat.

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  12. I like being grouchy. I feel like it gives me character.
    I don't, however, enjoy being bloated. Yuck.

    http://www.glamkittenslitterbox.com/
    Twitter: @GlamKitten88

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  13. Azra - I think cows grazing are living quite the life and most other cows are quite jealous of them :)

    Vanisha - That is a lesson I learn frequently!

    Oneika - Yeah, I was really nervous about surgery, but now I'm more looking forward to it than anything.

    Krysten - GAH, I couldn't stand it, I compulsive scratch and pick at things!

    Kim - This is a good tip!

    Heather - Aw, thank you!

    Postgradagenda - Hah, I'll keep this in mind and see if I can implement it.

    Titlelessblog - I'm glad you enjoyed the scale! :)

    Crazy Shenanigans - Surgery in a week and a half, so that should make it feel better.

    Teacher girl - I know, it is totally silly.

    Lemanie - I've seen many a doctor! Surgery soon :) Did you have problems with your diet after the gallbladder was removed?

    Ebony - For me it's endometriosis! So it's rarely related to what I eat.

    Bonnie - one or two grouchy days I feel are definitely character defining...WEEKS of grouchy are just mean! :(

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