Happy new year my bitches. I'm not much for New Year's resolutions so I didn't make one!
Inspector Climate and I actually flew back to Australia on New Year's eve. Our plane, slightly delayed from leaving the gate, was taking off right as we ticked into the new year. To be honest, the new year was over shadowed by the three year old sitting next to me who was peeing in an empty bag of Doritos.
See, while we were still on the ground and waiting to take off the child sitting next to me announced to his mother that he had to pee like right now. And even I, a woman with no children, know when a toddler needs to pee he cannot wait until the fasten seat belt sign is turned off. The flight attendants wouldn't let the child use the toilet and so the mother compromised and had him pee in a bag. Let's just say, this was not the beginning of a good flight for me.
Inspector Climate begged me to blog about this. Begged. And so I'll tell you about our second day back in Australia. I had a doctor's appointment to schedule a surgery to remove Jorge (begone Jorge! Begone! Is be gone two words? who knew?). The doctor explained the surgery to me and told me all about the preparation I'd have to undergo: fasting and bowel prep. He wrote me a prescription for the drink that I'll have to take which he said "will literally give you the shits."
On the way home, we stopped by the chemist to pick it up and I grabbed the bottle, paid for it, and started heading out of there as quickly as possible. Inspector Climate asked to see it and then said..."Um, I thought your doctor wrote a prescription for drink not a do it yourself enema..."
And so, after an awkward conversation with the chemist I returned it for the drink because let me tell right now I draw the line at an enema. Jorge, you win that one.
I also learned something about you all, you're horrible secret keepers. Go over here to see why, but for the love of Pete don't say who sent you.
How was your holiday?