Monday, April 30, 2012

"All this nothing has meant more to me than so many somethings" - You've got mail

I find Meg Ryan movies strangely comforting when I'm a bit sad. I don't know if it's because they feel like home when I was a kid and my mom and I would make a giant bowl of popcorn with butter and brewer's yeast and watch When Harry Met Sally; You've Got Mail; Addicted to Love; Sleepless in Seattle...

And this week the only sadnesses has been that I'm truly tired and Inspector Climate has been away all week.

Inspector Climate and I are one of those couples that are much better when we're together. Does that even make sense? When we get to be together 24/7 we never bicker, we never fight, we never even disagree - but as soon as the hours get long at work or social engagements keep us from having heaps of time together things get less peachy.

I mean, I know all couples aren't perfection all the time - I'm not that naive.

What I'm really saying is that I'm a bit of a child still.

You know when you were a kid and you held it together at school all day - and didn't even realise you were holding it together, but then when you got home you'd see your parents and just break down a bit.  You'd be grouchy and maybe even cry a bit? Like just being around people who *have* to love you made it okay to lose it?

Well, Inspector Climate now is the person who I don't have to hold it together around anymore.  So after long days at work or mistakes which have been made (and there are always mistakes made) or whatever it is that makes days long, tiring, sad, or discomforting; he's the one who I can just be me.

I don't have to put on a strong face or happy face like I do at work or in front of my family. I don't have to put my best foot forward or get out on the right side of the bed everyday or whatever your "happy" saying of choice is. No, I can be horrible, sad, disgruntled, frustrated - I don't have to hold it together.

I think what really happens is when we don't get to spend heaps of time together, I spend the time we do letting go from all that "holding it in" - but the more time we spend together, the more I can just be me.


21 comments:

  1. I'm not married but I definitely get the idea of people you can be yourself around. It's hard when you don't have that. I hope you and Inspector Climate get quality time together soon!

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  2. I get what you mean. Sometimes we are emotional around those we love because we know that they'll love us no matter what. Here is to hoping that you two get lots of time together soon!

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  3. It can be trying. Hopefully, you can gear up and think of all those fun things you'll do once he get there. Its great that things go smoothly when you guys are together.

    Really, such an honest post.

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  4. This absolutely makes sense. And it was so sweet to read. I think having that level of comfort and emotional intimacy with each other is key to a successful relationship.

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  5. This makes sense to me as well and I'm glad you have found the person you can be yourself with. I'm sure things are bound to get better soon

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  6. Lachlan and I tend to be better if we don't spend too much time apart, we're just more in tune with each other. Having said that, we need our space as well, I need to be able to hang out with other people and that bit of time apart means we appreciate our time together more.That's the theory anyway :)

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  7. Hello! I just came across your wonderful blog and was wondering if we could follow each other? Take care. :)

    Kristina (pink-sequins@blogspot.com)

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  8. I, too, find Meg Ryan flicks strangely comforting when sad; LOVE her. Also, I've seen Sleepless in Seattle, what, TEN BILLION TIMES, and I still love it.

    It's fantastic that you and IC get along so well (and better) when together; I love that. I'm sure YOU guys love it even more, heh heh. Yogi and I are much the same and we almost never fight, but then we'll have those periodic stupid fights that are LAAAAME and annoying, but hey, c'est la vie. :-)

    And I'm also still a bit of a child at 27. D'oh!

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  9. I don't know what it is about Meg Ryan movies... but I totally agree!!!! It's hard when the hubby leaves out of town for me too, but sometimes I have to just embrace the solitude or change things up... go out with a new friend or try something I haven't done before to mix things up!

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  10. I totally understand as I feel the same with my husband. When we lived in different cities things would sometimes get ugly, but as soon as we were together everything would fall into place, just like a jigsaw puzzle. I just want to say that it's such a relief to have someone you can be yourself with, whether it's sad, happy, disgruntled or miserable. P.S. Also agree about that high school feeling. Thanks for taking me way back!

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  11. Thus far the only fights that Izzy and I have had have happened because of distance... so I totally get what you mean. The minute we're together all is good with no fighting.

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  12. I totally get what you're saying in this post. When my husband and I were on vacation we just kept getting along better and better. I actually teared up a little on the morning we went back to work. I felt along and a little vulnerable. I wasn't used to taking on the world by myself. I also feel blessed to have found someone who I can be ''me" around and who loves me anyway!

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  13. yes, i love that we can be ourselves around the ones we love. and this post made me so happy from the title to finish. absolutely adore meg ryan movies. especially when tom hanks and meg ryan are together. too perfect! :)
    xo TJ

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  14. This was sweet. And not only do I understand the whole "better together" thing, but also the movie thing. Meg Ryan isn't my go-to though. I have this group of movies that always make me feel better and I'm not ashamed to say the BBC version of Pride and Prejudice is in there.

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  15. I think this is a true test of whether you're really with the right person or not. If you can't be yourself around your man, who can see the real you? My hubby & I are similar...we definitely argue more when we see each other less. Sometimes I think we're just mad at the activities that keep us apart, not actually at each other. I guess the only good thing about more fighting is more making up ;o)

    Keep us posted on the wedding shoes

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  16. I'm sorry you've been feeling down lately. I hope things turn around when IC gets back :)

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  17. i love meg ryan! i think she's so pretty! i don't know... i wish she made more movies now a days. i really liked her from the women. it was sad but quite comforting at the same time.

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  18. I always feel much better around the ones I love. My boo & I tend to get into fights when we are away and that is only because we miss each other.

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  19. Definitely get this!

    I also love You've Got Mail. I don't really know why, but I must have watched it about 25 times!

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  20. I definitely get there. Hang in there! Those movies can definitely be comforting.

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