Tuesday, July 17, 2012

For the first time in nearly nine years. NINE YEARS.

I started this blog in 2003.  Let that sink in for minute.

I've never really had a blogging slump, I've never let my blog sit idle for weeks on end, I've never thought about quitting blogging (I'm not quitting blogging - don't freak out - oh how I flatter myself that anyone would care if I did!), and I've never once run out of things to say that a few minutes of blog surfing or writer's de-blocking couldn't fix.

Until now.

I feel dried up. What story could I possibly tell that's a new one? I feel frustrated and annoyed by my blog these days. Remember when this was a vibrant place where we used to hate on Jorge and cry together about the pain that is fingerprints and visas?

Maybe it's my ego that is really hurt - when my blog stats are dropping lower and lower and the comments are getting fewer and fewer.

Is it the content that is worse?

Is it my inability to visit all y'alls blogs everyday?

Is because I stopped commenting back?

Is it because I feel like I can't put the time and energy and love and affection into each in every word? Is because I'm annoyed that I can't write about what's happening to me on the daily. Is it really all about me? Of course it is.

It's all those things.

I've always blogged just for me, and I loved that doing something that I was so passionate about made people stop in their day and say a little something in the comments. I loved my weird google searches for Ted Mosby's hair - and how Bulgarians love me.  I know it isn't cool to talk about stats and comments - but I think we can all agree that there is a bit of validation in knowing that people stopping in to say hi.  And it's lovely, is it not?

And I miss it. I miss blogging with an open heart and open arms. I miss being able to prioritise my blog above all things.

Today, I'll make a wish. A wish to blog back the energy, the soul, the feeling back into decoybetty. Because bitches, decoybetty needs her groove back.

What are you wishing for?


  1. Same here! You are basically writing what i have been feling these past few months! My blog view is around 6 views daily, but i have myself to blame because i blogged less than once per month these past few months. I guess once we make that mistake, people dont check back often anymore :(

  2. Personally, I check back (and don't have time to always comment) when I see something pop up in my Google Reader. If I like someone, I keep it there unless they've been gone for an excessive amount of time (a year? erm).

    I wish for easier times, though!

  3. I feel THE SAME WAY! You put into words what I've been struggling with on my blog these past few months. Sometimes, when I feel like I have nothing to write about, or that I'm writing for no one, I tell myself that I still need to write for ME, so that in 20years (or more) when I look back on the blog, I'll have a diary of my life. If I have nothing to say, I also just post pics of my cute pets :)

    Keep writing, and I, for one, will keep reading!

  4. Having people stop by to comment is lovely. The interaction and little community you create with your blog is one of the best bits about blogging, even if you primarily blog for yourself.

    I have far fewer commenters than readers (based on stats as well as people telling me they read it). I can't complain about not getting many comments, because I don't spend a lot of time commenting on others' blogs and I'm not very good at replying to comments on my own blog!

  5. I think that we all have times when we have a 'dry spot' and it doesn't matter. The important thing, like you said, is that you do it for you. Do it because you enjoy it and no other reason otherwise it becomes choreish. Sometimes it's difficult to visit everyones blog and comment, though you do feel a sense of obligation to do so and also it's great to read your friends stories and thoughts. However, it's finding the time to do so!

  6. I think it's okay to give yourself a break. Blogging is for fun, for release and community, not for just raiding your hand to tell the class "I love lamp". Don't stress out about it, inspiration will come when it's time. :)

  7. A lot if bloggers seem to have noticed their comments dropping off at the moment.. I'm blaming everyone in the northern hemisphere, they're on summer vacation and not blogging as much or commenting.
    I haven't been reading your blog for that long ( about 6 months) so it all seems quite fresh to me!!

  8. I've been terrible at commenting recently. I blame the super slow internet of doom (aka we keep going over our downloads, and I basically can't do anything because it's running at dial up speed)...

    ANYWAY. Holy crap. Nine years is a crazy long time to go without a break!! If it helps any, I'm about to tag you in something. And I'm always up for more Dessert Days!! ;)

  9. Blogging isn't what it used to be. I think it has to do with wanting our world online to be monopolized by Facebook. Nothing left private.

    So therefore, you worry a little about what the world would see. I dunno, just a perception I get, because I like to leave parts of my life private.

    Maybe you can schedule it out. You know, do what you want. Write about things that you like. Have a different topic through the week. Not blog everyday.

    I'm sure you'll come up with something. All the best on your blogging.

  10. That is an interesting question you pose - do you blog for your readers or do you blog for yourself? If it's for yourself, then don't worry about readership (easy to say). People will come and go but as long as this blog is accomplishing what you want it to, that's okay.

    And nine years! That's a heck of a LONG time

  11. I'm in the same place you are, girl.

    Oh how people love to read about an American girl in Paris. Or a girl having crazy dating adventures. But when that stops? You can practically hear the general, collective "meh."

  12. I think it's amazing that since 2003, this is the first time you've felt the slump. I started blogging in 2009, and I've slumped about, oh, 87 times. Roughly.

    A break is okay, friend. If that's what you need.

    But, it's true that the more time you spend in the community, the more time they'll spend on you.

    Find your middle ground. Take a breath. Write what you want. Reach out to people. Everything will fall in line.

  13. So, I've never got the vibe that you were a blogger seeking our validation, which is why I don't feel bad giving you some haha. One of the reasons I've been drawn to your blog above other blogs is that you don't seem to play this "Blogger Game" with following and giveaways, but that you just look for real connection with people. I like that because that's why I blog too, and my follower count is very small because of it. I have definitely drafted (but not published) several blog posts about this same issue.

    But your blogs are real and I feel like I can totally identify with you. So I hope you won't change your content, but just continue to be you. Yours is a great blog that I always look forward to reading when it comes on my reel.

  14. I love everything that Sierra said above!

    I've had a few blogs since 2003 myself...LiveJournal (totally different writing to what I do now...different voice, different topics...I miss it), a Blogger travel blog (where I gave painstaking detail on trips), and now my current one. Now that I'm not traveling, I don't know what to say on a blog that was started as a travel blog. I've wanted to change things up "branding" wise as I want to continue writing and sharing for the sake of it, but I haven't.

    If I haven't commented as much lately it's because I'm overwhelmed with all of the upcoming changes in my life! I continue to read the posts of people I most connect with but I don't comment every time.

    I've been thinking about going on a brief hiatus for the second time ever. Think about it...then come back with all of the energy and passion that makes you love it to begin with <3

  15. Nine years? I had no idea you had been doing it for so long! Just today I was thinking about how I've been blogging for about 2 years and that I really love it and wouldn't dream of stopping. I love writing for me, and sharing what's important and interesting to me and I get that no one else, or not everyone will be interested but who knows, maybe there's one person who is really interested and they send me an email and a beautiful friendship grows...who knows...I always come back here and do a bulk read, the reason isn't your content, it's simply how I read blogs, it's haphazard and a very poor system!

  16. I started blogging back in 2006 when I was young and single and didn't have a filter. I used to write about dating and drinking and all other sorts of shenanigans. Now my blog has evolved into a journal where I write about activities my husband and I do so our families can feel like they know what we're up to. I feel like that's probably boring to a lot of my previous readers. But we all evolve over time, I suppose. I really enjoy your blog though... don't worry, I'm sure this slump will pass soon and you'll be right back at it!

  17. I've been here a few times, and always ended up coming back feeling refreshed and excited about blogging. I don't think I could ever give it up entirely because I love the fact that I have a record of my life and I love the community, but I definitely need a break from time to time. Hope you get your blogging mojo back soon!

  18. Seems like this is going around lately. I have noticed your "tone" on here to be a little less....you lately. It hasn't made me come back any less but I agree, decoybetty needs her groove back.

    Thank you for saying you have always blogged for YOU but admitted that it IS nice to be validated. That's exactly how I feel. I never think "what will people say?" before I hit publish..I just write & publish away. But that doesn't mean I don't get a little (ok a lot) giddy when I get a comment or especially many comments.

    I've continued to stop by, but I admit I have slacked a bit on my commenting lately. I'm sorry for that. I just haven't been feeling like saying much lately. And I kinda hate when people put some short comment that has no real value (like: "Yum" [to a post with no food pics] or "Hi I love your blog, follow me & I'll follow you"). So I have just been refraining from commenting at all until I have something brilliant to say. Like now. Ha!

  19. Perhaps its because you no longer have the need to expunge your thoughts here? Which is a good thing because it may mean that you're happy... not candy floss happy... like adult happy - content? Or maybe it becomes a shore when its not from your heart. I personally wish I had more time to blog - my days are crazy. And when I do have the time, I'm either too tired or can't find the words. *sigh*

  20. Well, that was a great blog post.

    I haven't been as consistent a blogger as you, but I understand.

    Sometimes I write a post that I really love and get no hits. No one stinking view and I think WTH!

    For me, I read and comment less on ohter blogs during summer. I am just too busy. Perhaps your followers are the same.

  21. I am wishing for Deidre to get her groove back because I miss her posts!

    Maybe you just need to start a thirty days or questionnaire type thing to get you moving in the right direction?

  22. Niiiiiine years, holy smokes! That's quite a run, one that will become even longer and longer... :-)

    Your blog is a great and worthwhile space so try to not get too down about the fluctuating comments. As for comments, I find that when people comment regularly/consistently on my blog I do the same on theirs, and vice-versa (usually we follow each other anyway). That's not to say that I "hold a grudge" (bahahah) and withhold comments on those blogs I comment on whose bloggers DON'T comment regularly on mine -- obviously not -- it's just a "pattern" I've noticed in the past three months, for example.

    I mean, for a good year I got barely any comments (one or two, if that) and part of that was because I wasn't commenting on other blogs and "putting myself out there", if you will...once I started really participating in the bloggy community, people started visiting my blog and commenting...and even following, heh heh. I had ZERO followers in April, then lovely Kirsti/"Melbourne on my mind" became my first follower (which caused me no end of squees), and now I have 22...that's a small amount but I don't care, it feels like a 100 to me.

    And sure, it's not about how many followers or whatev, but it's nice to know that when you put some effort into a post there are people who WILL see it, irrespective of whether they comment on it. Of course comments are nice because we all like feedback on what we've written, but I usually don't mind it anymore if comments are lacking...or I might depending on how much the post means to me, heh heh.

    Hope this case of the sads leaves you, post-haste!

  23. Take a deep breath my love, we all go through it. You should be VERY proud that you have been blogging for so long! That is an achievement to be celebrated. You will get your groove back and this blog will continue, I know it will because I know you love it and we love you! *hugs*

  24. I know how you feel. I love writing on my blog and I love reading others but I feel like no one is even reading anymore. I've noticed stats going down ever since blogger changed some of their stuff.

  25. Girl! I've been feeling the same way lately- I feel like as my blog as grown I'm not writing for me but for an audience, and that has definitely changed the way I write (and that's sad)! Now I almost feel obliged to generate content in a timely manner- long gone are the days when I would type up something on the blog on a whim and not care if anybody read it or not... le sigh! Between my job, my love Liebling, and my travels, I feel like I don't have the opportunity to make time to answer comments on my own blog, let alone comment! I read all my fave blogs (yours, DoW Rachel, Crystal's) on a regular basis, but as it's usually on my phone I can't bother to comment!

    I love keeping up with your tidbits but I think we all understand if you need to take a break! I know that you say you love writing emails, so if you give me your email addy I'll write you sometime. :-)

  26. I'm in a bit of a rut, too. Going to Sydney provided a bit of blog fodder, but for the first time in awhile, I've got no posts scheduled and none forthcoming.

    Blogging is starting to feel like work, and it's starting to feel competitive, and that's not fun.

  27. I'm in a bit of a rut, too. Going to Sydney provided a bit of blog fodder, but for the first time in awhile, I've got no posts scheduled and none forthcoming.

    Blogging is starting to feel like work, and it's starting to feel competitive, and that's not fun.