I started this blog in 2003. Let that sink in for minute.
I've never really had a blogging slump, I've never let my blog sit idle for weeks on end, I've never thought about quitting blogging (I'm not quitting blogging - don't freak out - oh how I flatter myself that anyone would care if I did!), and I've never once run out of things to say that a few minutes of blog surfing or writer's de-blocking couldn't fix.
I feel dried up. What story could I possibly tell that's a new one? I feel frustrated and annoyed by my blog these days. Remember when this was a vibrant place where we used to hate on Jorge and cry together about the pain that is fingerprints and visas?
Maybe it's my ego that is really hurt - when my blog stats are dropping lower and lower and the comments are getting fewer and fewer.
Is it the content that is worse?
Is it my inability to visit all y'alls blogs everyday?
Is because I stopped commenting back?
Is it because I feel like I can't put the time and energy and love and affection into each in every word? Is because I'm annoyed that I can't write about what's happening to me on the daily. Is it really all about me? Of course it is.
It's all those things.
I've always blogged just for me, and I loved that doing something that I was so passionate about made people stop in their day and say a little something in the comments. I loved my weird google searches for Ted Mosby's hair - and how Bulgarians love me. I know it isn't cool to talk about stats and comments - but I think we can all agree that there is a bit of validation in knowing that people stopping in to say hi. And it's lovely, is it not?
And I miss it. I miss blogging with an open heart and open arms. I miss being able to prioritise my blog above all things.
Today, I'll make a wish. A wish to blog back the energy, the soul, the feeling back into decoybetty. Because bitches, decoybetty needs her groove back.
What are you wishing for?