Last night as I was writing the post about my conflict with buying a diamond for my wedding band, I started reading posts from a year ago about Jorge (the large endometrioma that I had surgical removed in February), my visa, and for the love of god fingerprints. And as I read those posts, I knew what my current writing has been missing.
I've always known that I write best about my feelings. Not my past feelings. Not my future feelings. But my feelings write this very second. I know I'll never write a memoir, because I can't write earnestly about my past feelings. And if there is one thing my writing is it's earnest.
I wrote this post last October about why my blog is a secret - but also why I write at all. I write because that's how I process any problem. Feeling sick? I write about it. Feeling depressed? I write about it. Feeling angry? I write about it.
I'm like Harry in When Harry met Sally..."Harry, you're going to have to try and find a way of not expressing
every feeling that you have, every moment that you have them." I have no way of dealing with these emotions unless I write about them as I'm emoting them.
But the problems arise when I can't write about that feeling the second I'm feeling it. And what's left here on this blog? Basically nothing.
My post about diamonds didn't have the heart that it would have if I had written during my decision making process.
So I'm going to do a couple of things to try to bring back my voice. I've connected email to my blog so that I can send posts straight to the blog - pretty awesome huh? Does any one else do this? Does it work? Help me, help you?
Do you have this problem? Do you have a groove in your writing - that makes it sound like you? And when you fall outta the groove, how do you get back in again?