Monday, August 27, 2012

Today, a year ago...I had NO idea what this year would bring

It's August 26, unless you're in Australia and then this is being posted on the 27th, but written on the 26th (in the wee hours of the morning, if you're in the US). Wow. Sorry. Anyway.

So, a year ago. I was in Inspector Climate's child hood town. Getting coffee with his grandparents and cousins - we were telling them about our visa woes how incredibly frustrating it was that I had to take all these tests again. Inspector Climate's mom joked "Why don't you just MARRY her already!"

We laughed, I smiled inwardly knowing that we'd been talking about it for about a month. I had been to the hospital for unknown stomach pain, but had been waiting to go to the doctor because I didn't want to have to lie to the immigration doctors.

How was I to know that the next day, Inspector Climate would propose?

I was about to be unemployed again.

But really what was happening was I was the brink for a whirlwind year that I had never ever expected. I would get engaged, married, travel to Vanuatu and the US, experience pain that I have never ever been able to describe, get The Job, have The Surgery, plan the second wedding,  frolic in unprecedented angry, and dive to the lowest lows of depression (plus made macarons!).

And now, exactly a year before that all started, I finally feel like I'm coming out of the other side. I haven't cried in weeks (a milestone!), I haven't become irrationally angry over...whatever is happening in a single day, I haven't drastically overreacted - and my emotions which have been like landmines have settled into their general up and downs.

Tomorrow (today) is my birthday (my golden birthday - 27 on the 27th) and 26 has just been...wild.  Oh 26, you rascal...you didn't hold back did you? Oh no, you flew by. You threw everything at me. And you know what...thank you.

In yoga (oh here she goes again, with the yoga sutras!), they often say be grateful for what your body can do and not resentful for what it cannot.  And while during 26, I often was more resentful than I was grateful - on the eve of 27,  I feel indescribable gratitude for all that experience and all that I can achieve.

Here's to 27.

25 comments:

  1. Oh, I do think this past year has made you so much wiser too.

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  2. Hurrah for the depression slowly lifting too!

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  3. Happy birthday!! I'm glad you feel like you've come out the other side. I hope this year continues that trend. :)

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  4. Happy birthday and here's to hoping 27 will be better than ever!

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  5. Happy Birthday!! I am loving your positive outlook on your special day =)

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  6. Happy, happy day, sweet Decoybetty!!!

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  7. Happy belated birthday!

    It is so easy to feel reflective over your birthday - I went through the same thing last week.

    I am so very glad that your years has improved. :)

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  8. A very joyeux anniversaire from France! I really liked the honesty of this post. I might write up something similar on my blog this week because it's amazing what can change and happen in a year.

    Be proud of yourself for all of your accomplishments, and accept that we are not always going to be sunny and happy and grateful. Everyone has those moments, and as long as you know you can get out on the other side, everything will be ok :)

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  9. Happy birthday for tomorrow! Every year from 25 on something big happened and I learnt something important about myself, sometimes good, sometimes bad, but always growing. At present I think I'm rocking 30! May 27 be wonderful for you :)

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  10. Happy birthday!! Enjoy 27 - I am 20 days in and so far, finding it to be so much superior to 26 and 25 before that!!!

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  11. Happy birthday to you!

    What a lovely post. I'm so pleased to hear you're feeling much calmer and happier. Yay!

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  12. Have a wonderful golden birthday! Mine was 18 on the 18th, but I don't think I quite appreciated the magic of it then, unfortunately. Can I get a do-over? Like, when I turn 84 (the same age as the year I was born, instead of the day), it can be my extra-golden birthday? :)

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  13. Happy 3^3 birthday! /end mathnerd.

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  14. Gefeliciteerd met je verjaardag. Ik wens je een heel prettige 27d jaar!!

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  15. Happiest of happy birthdays to you. Golden birthdays are pretty awesome. This year has thrown me for a loop as well so I definitely know what you speak of. Glad you're seeing the light.

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  16. Happy Golden Birthday!!!!!!!! Here's to being even wiser this year :-)

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  17. WOW, cannot believe it's been a year of ups and downs. Time flies when you're having fun ;)

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  18. It sounds like you're doing so fantastic, I'm so happy for you!

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  19. Happy birthday, happy to hear you are coming out on the other side:)

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  20. I love reflecting on the year just before my birthday. And wow, you really seem to have done so much and 'grown' so much :) I'm so glad things are getting better and really looking up for you xoxox

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  21. Here's to 27! So glad you feel things are looking up :-)

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  22. I love how introspective you sound. I have difficulty putting my journey into words, like you have, and it inspires me...

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