Monday, October 22, 2012

You are missing to me

After coming back from the US - I was in pretty rough shape. I was thoroughly homesick. I hadn't been ready to go yet and the thought of returning to real life which is so far from the one with the rolling grassy hills and leaves that change colours - where September means Autumn and not spring. Where you tip at restuarants - and thus expect to have waiters be attentive.

Oh - I wasn't ready to come back to Australia. And there were and are tears. Many tears.

I spent my first week back trying to catch up on all the blogs I missed and then I found a new one. Stephanie Says.

This post in particular was so incredibly timely for me that I kept the tab open on my computer for days until I made sure I had properly bookmarked it.

Stephanie is living in Russia and learning the language and she was reminescing about learning how to say "I miss you" in French which is literally translated into "You are missing to me."

She writes "It's as if rather than simply missing another individual, you're missing a piece of yourself."

And I cried.

You see, I am missing a piece of myself and when I first leave either continent (North America or Australia) for the other for the first few weeks I'm utterly lost without that piece. I'm devastated without it.

My best friend, horses, dogs, cat, family,  childhood bedroom, garden, house, driveway, tree, heart shaped rock, familiar framed photos, zip codes with 5 numbers, and reese's peanut butter cups are missing to me.


29 comments:

  1. The truly sad thing is..you would miss these things even if you moved to another state. Yes, you could see your family more. Still life changes. Its evolving. And home is never quite what it used to be. Yet, your home is with some one else now.

    All I can say is embrace the beauty. Savor it.

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  2. Real life stinks:( we got away for the weekend and it was so hard coming back knowing my alarm clock is going to ring at 5 am and drag myself out to my job. Stay strong girl, you can do hard things!!

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  3. The way my high school French teacher always translated "je te manque" was "I am lacking in you". They're both equally apt.

    Last time I was there, Victoria Gardens had a stall that sold nothing but American candy. If nothing else, at least that might solve your lacking in Reese's peanut butter cups!

    My last assignment is due on Wednesday, so if you want to have a Dessert Day and try and make gluten free pumpkin pie or something, you know where to find me!! *hugs* xx

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  4. I can only provide sympathy/empathy, but not assistance.

    I second Kirsti's idea of peanut butter cups and GF pumpkin pie :-)

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  5. Blech, homesickness is a tough illness to cure. Home is missing you as well and I'm sure it can't wait for your next visit - come back soon!

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  6. Aw...I know that feeling. I hope you're feeling better now though...

    There are so many times when I wish our hearts and souls and bodies can occupy two places at once...

    ((hug))

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  7. Tu me manques - grammatically speaking, that phrase has always bewildered me- It's beautiful to look at it this way, it clearly captures it. Hope you're feeling better.

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  8. They are missing you and I know it's so hard. I'm thinking about you!

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  9. I know just how you feel. I'm usually a teary-eyed mess in the airport in Toronto when I'm coming back to France after a trip home. There are so many things qui me manquent when I'm not in Canada...

    Hang in there.

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  10. Ah, wretched homesickness . . . how we despise you so!

    But I guess that's the thing about truly great adventures--they're not always easy.

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  11. I hate being homesick, but on the bright side, you should be happy that you have such wonderful people to miss! Time will heal it and as you make new memories in your new home it will become easier :)

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  12. Aw being homesick is so hard! Hang in there!

    xo, Yi-chia
    Always Maylee

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  13. I'm still pissed you don't have Reese's Pieces. That's just not right.

    xo

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  14. Hang in there darlin'! You are lucky to have so many loved ones all across the world! :-)

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  15. A world without Reese's is a terrible thing to imagine! Even though I live in a different country than my family and most of my friends, my experience is so different having the American military base where I can buy almost all of the same things I can get at home. But there are still those moments of frustration or homesickness dealing with a very different country and culture.

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  16. I empathise, no matter how near or far 'home' is, sometimes you would just rather be there than where you are. Even if where you are is where you need to be!

    For what it's worth though, Melbourne is a little bit nicer with your presence than without. Even if I only see you sparingly!

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  17. Ummm...can we be best friends?!? You are the cutest! And I can totally commiserate when it comes to the absence of Reeses' PB cups! They're a staple and I SO feel there absence in Russia!

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  18. I totally needed to read this post today. I'm going to have to go read that blog. Today is one of those days that I'm missing being 2600 miles away from my family and friends.

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  19. Homesickness is hard, no matter what you do. I really like the phrase, "you are missing to me." Seems so much more accurate of a description of that empty feeling. *hugs*

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  20. I'm sorry, peanut butter cups not being readily available is a deal breaker for me.
    I really really understand "you are missing to me". Very beautifully said.
    I'm sorry you have to choose.

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  21. This was very beautifully written. That is exactly the feeling I always get when thinking about leaving one country for another.

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  22. Being homesick is never a good thing..hopefully you adjust soon:-)

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  23. I'm sorry you are sad but just try and look at it as an adventure ahead!! Australia is on my list of places I'd love to visit. Keep your head up!!

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  24. i hope those few sad weeks go by quickly for you and i hope that soon you can go back and see all the things that are missing you!

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  25. Oh totally. The day before we left we had all our friends to this outdoor restaurant under the stars eating food, drinking, laughing...I couldn't believe how happy I was in that moment. And then I'd go back to London where it would be gray, and you can never see stars and rarely eat outside because there really aren't many restaurants designed for that. It was rough.

    But, I also knew that the only reason all those people were gathered there was BECAUSE we were going back to England, and then I realized that there are so many beautiful experiences that I've had because of expat life. It's really hard though...totally totally feel you.

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  26. btw, it's Sarah from Texpatsabroad :)

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