Your brows are just terrible.

My last trip to the US was packed full of adventures and pretty much the first one that I embarked on was having a rehearsal of my hair and make up with my mom's hair dresser. So two weeks before the wedding I stopped by her salon to get my self esteem taken down a notch or five.

Now, let me preface this story by saying this: She was having a bad day, and she ended up doing a fabulous job on my hair and make up as well as the bride's maids. That being said...

I walked into her store which is both a little shop that sells make up, clothes, jewelry, and a hair salon. I came with my bestie BoboReis (not her real name) with images of us chit chatting gaily and catching up after months of not seeing each other. I pictured us gushing at how beautiful we'd look and what styles would look best on us. I was hallucinating.

The Frame to my face is awful

"D?...Wow. Your brows are...bad. They're the frame to your face and they are...awful." As I was pushed into a chair "we're going to take care of those right now..."

"What?" and then hot wax was being applied to my eye brows as I tried to remain calm.  Maybe you get your eye brows waxed...or maybe you pluck your eyebrows - but me? It's really not my thing - in fact this is the first time anyone has ever touched my eye brows with anything.

(This maybe because once when I was taking flute lessons my teacher told me "you have beautiful eye brows never touch them. Once overplucked they will never grow back" - I took that to heart).

There is nothing like meeting a new person and being insulted and then having your hair ripped from your face.

Check out my new brows and my curls (not pin curls!)

That skin you have? Entirely unpleasant

Afterwards, I was plunked into a different chair and she started applying make up.

"Your skin...It's so... bumpy...You'll fix that right?"

I'll try I said?

"Is your skin always this bad?"

Your hair! Not only is it dull, but la la la la

"And your hair...it's so, dull... It's just so not shiny. You use shampoo with wax don't you?"

No, I don't...I think this is just my hair.

"What I think we'll need to do your hair is for you to shower the night before and sleep on it in pin curls, I think that's the only way for your hair to get curly enough"

Really? Because all I need to do is when my hair is wet, I curl strands around my finger and then I get cork screw curls...

"If you don't want to sleep in pin curls, we can use a curling iron on the day"...

No, see I'll sleep in pin curls if you want, but I didn't wash my hair this morning so it is dirty and the curls have frizzed out, but if I wash my hair and twist it around my finger--

"the thing about pin curls is that you have to go with the curl. Not against the curl. WITH the curl"

Ok, but see, if I shower the morning of -

"Pin curls are so amazing you just sleep on them..."

But I --

"Your hair is just so dull and the colour is so flat. pin curls!"

And if insulting me wasn't enough she then turned to my best friend and said

"Your brows are horrible. They're the window frame of your face you know. You overpluck. Let me show you how brows should look [waving a photo of a "perfectly" groomed brow] and go stand in front of the mirror and look at yourself. Compare your brows with this one."

And then we laughed on the car ride home. We laughed and then asked "Wait? Are our brows that bad?"

"Absolutely horrid" we'd giggle, "they're the frame to your face you know."