Friday, December 14, 2012

Blogging, never leave me.

I reread my post from last week about the Big Thing. I was hoping that by now I'd be able to talk about it, but I'm still waiting for people who are involved to do what they need to do. I'll give them the courtesy of a few more days and after that, I feel like I can take matters into my own hands.

As I read over the post, I was reminded of why I do this in the first place. Because while I feel things now about Big Thing, they aren't nearly so intense. Had I tried to write about that day today - it would have been a less passionate account, it would have been a he-said/she-said story of what made me upset. Not the actual Upset-ness of it all.

Blogging has long been therapy for me, a place to write down how I feel so I don't explode at other people because in the real world, I tend to hold it all inside much more.

I crack jokes, and try to make the mood light hearted even if I want to cry until the tears drip off my face.

But I love that here, with all of you, I don't need to do that.

Having that kind of freedom to express myself is such a gift that you give me. A gift that I realise many people don't have at all.

So I just wanted you to know, I'm very thankful.

As an update on those feelings, over the weekend I couldn't feel anything but the sorrow of it all. The disappointment and the failure. I had a hard time falling asleep because I kept reliving every moment in my head.

Now, I feel a bit lucky that there has been a forced change on my circumstances. I feel a bit more hopeful a bit more often. There is still sadness and loss, but it is balanced by hope and freshness.

24 comments:

  1. I'm glad you're slowly coming to terms with The Big Thing...whatever it is.

    PS: THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME.

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  2. So good to hear! Sending you oodles of good vibes. (Like Jayne, the suspense is also killing ME, heh.)

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  3. I'm glad that the initial pain is starting to fade, and that you are starting to feel like your heart is lighter. Hang in there!

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  4. Good to hear you are feeling a bit better. Surround yourself with people that make you happy. Do things that make you feel good. It might help ease some of the pain/stress away.

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  5. I'm so glad to hear things are beginning to look up (are you sensing a theme? :)

    Here's to hope taking full flight right into the new year!

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  6. And cheers to lots more of that hope and freshness!

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  7. I'm sorry about whatever happened - it really sucks when life throws you curve balls, and whatever it is, I'm sure you'll get through - you you have the right to be sad about it for awhile!

    <3 katherine
    of corgis and cocktails

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  8. Your honesty is amazing, and I'm so glad that you have a safe place where you can share this stuff. I'm so sorry that you're still feeling so sad, and I hope that things start looking up soon. Hang in there! (And to be honest, the suspense is killing me as well...)

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  9. I love your honesty and I'm glad that you are starting to feel a little bit better. Hang in there!

    xo, Yi-chia
    Always Maylee

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  10. Oh, gosh, so sorry about 'the big thing'... whatever it is. Don't worry though, I know things are hard now, but they always have a way of working out. So, chin up girl. :)

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  11. Sorry about whatever is going on. Hang in there, Deidre! I agree that the freedom to express myself through blogging is so wonderful. I always have a hard time face to face with people and feel like I connect better through writing and photos and can be more honest and myself.

    Thanks for commenting on my cobbler post :)

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  12. I remember when I was telling people about my divorce I was least scared to share it on my blog... I knew that my readers would love and support me not matter what, and that's pretty amazing.

    Take your time. We're all here for you.

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  13. Hi dear, I think blogging is a great platform to share your thoughts and feelings, and in deed it is like therapy. I hope that you get through what ever you're going through, hang in there

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  14. Glad you gained some perspective. Time sure is wonderful for that.

    Take care of yourself.

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  15. Take your time Deirdre. Happy to hear you're feeling better.

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  16. Keep your head up, sometimes forced change is exactly what you (anyone) needs.

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  17. Blogging is the best like that. There always seems to be someone who has an idea of your pain, or at least someone to say they're thinking of you. :)

    I'm really glad you're making the best of it!

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  18. I'm glad that blogging makes you feel better, but I'm sad that something has happened to upset you so much :(

    AwayFromTheBlue.blogspot.com.au

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  19. Perspective is always important...hope it all works out for you! Disappointments can be hard to swallow sometimes!

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  20. I hope everything will work out in the best possible way regarding the circumstances. I love reading your blog. You bring out laughs and tears.

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  21. I hope everything works out. Still praying for you and the big thing. *hugs*

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