Monday, December 03, 2012

Well, Jorgita, it's me and you. Let's do this.

I've been doing so well the last few months, seeing the acupuncturist truly changed my hormones and was making me a happy, non-angry, person. Hello, D, I missed you!

Well, this past month I went off the disgusting herbal tea (which was really nice because seriously, it's gross! It tastes bad AND it's inconvenient because I have to drink it 30 minutes before I eat...oy!) and things went ugly real fast.

I started to get my three month pregnant-bloat belly back - FOXY LADY! My crankiness rose exponentially. The acute pains that would shoot through my abdomen (like when you've touched an electric fence to skin that has been sliced open) came back. And don't even get me started at the crying. I told all my symptoms to my acupuncturist, from here on known as the Miracle Worker, and she said "sounds like an endo flare up to me."

And I got scared. Real scared. It hasn't even been a year since I had surgery. I can't live like this for the rest of my life, and I certainly can't put Inspector Climate through it either. To have so much improvement and then to fall off the cliff into hormonal hell again has just been, frankly, awful.

I hate having to blame my hormones for my bad behaviour, in all seriousness shouldn't I be able to control that anger? Those tears? More than anything, I'm embarrassed, I'm embarrassed I constantly have to make excuses to myself.

"Self, you're just acting this way because you're tired"

"Self, you're just grouchy because you haven't eat well today"

"Self, you're just anger because the trains are late"

I feel like things should be all fixed by now, it's almost been a year shouldn't my body have sorted itself out by now?

But then I have to remember, they didn't take all the endo out. Not even close.

If I want to get better and move on, I have to let go. I have to forgive my body for growing Jorge and Jorgitas, I have to let go of the angry and the sadness and forgive myself when it happens.  Fight it, but then if I lose control of those emotions not let myself feel so guilty and terrified.

I have to let go.

And sadly, I have to start drinking the disgusting tea again.

24 comments:

  1. While I'm happy to hear the tea does its job, I wish it did so with great aplomb (mainly, a fabulous taste). Grievous tasting tea? Wretched luck, that.

    Be strong, brave pilgrim! :)

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  2. Blargh, sorry you have to drink your gross tea again but I'm really glad that it (at least) works for you. Hope you feel better soon

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  3. Aw, I hope you feel better soon. Blech, drinking gross tea sounds awful!

    xo, Yi-chia
    Always Maylee

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  4. Oh honey bear. I hope you get to feeling better soon!

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  5. Bummer about the tea but hey, at least you know there is something out there that helps you!

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  6. Any treatment plans? Did Miracle Worked have suggestions? Do you think the tea was keeping flare-ups at bay? It may suck to drink, but it sounds like it suck way worse to have another endo flare up.

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  7. Ugh...this is such a drag for you:( and some of those herbals can be so nasty!! I am so sorry girl, hope you get feeling better and everything can be resolved

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  8. Ugh...I'm so sorry to hear you are having a flare up. And that the only solution at this point is more awful tea. Yuck.

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  10. If endometriosis is curable (I don't really know what it is that well) then I hope you'll be out of it soon :) And that you don't need that horrible tea anymore... x

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  11. Hormones suck.
    Jorge sucks.
    Jorgita sucks.
    Maybe you can add some stevia to the tea to make it taste better?

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  12. =( I'm SO sorry! I really hope that you feel better soon.

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  13. I'm glad that there are ways to help you get healthy, but I'm really sorry that they're icky and inconvenient. I'm hoping for your and Mr Climate's sake that things even out for you!

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  14. Hormones are a thing of their own its not yore fault when they rage war, or anyone else's for that matter. The other day I sobbed during an episode of Extreme Couponing, lol. Let go and be the fab D you are!!

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  15. I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling rotten, controlling emotions can be so tricky even without the hormones playing havoc on your body. I do hope that you get some relief soon.

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  16. Aww D, I'm so sorry that you're facing this again :-( *HUGE HUGS*

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  17. Sorry you have to go through this AGAIN... I can kinda relate (with my own health issues). Here's to good health, hope you feel better real soon!

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  18. :( Bummer, but at least the tea helps. Trying to look a little on the bright side of the stinky situation...

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  19. You can do it! Embrace the tea. :)

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  20. Hopefully, all will be better. All the best with the tea.

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  21. Jorge and Jorgita are the uber-suck. The tea doesn't sound much better, but at least five minutes of "God, this tastes gross" is an improvement on a crapton of pain??? xx

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  22. Oh no! I'm sorry to hear that it's came back but at least by drinking the disgusting tea you know that you won't have it as bad. Hang in there girl!

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