The moment was bound to arrive. The one that took the F out of Funemployment and then used that F to flip me the bird. Do you know what you're left with when funemployment is gone? Just unemployment.
I thought I'd gotten pretty good at handling rejection. I've already had two interviews and didn't get either of the positions, I've applied to dozens of jobs without getting interviews. And it's not like this is even my first time, I'm an old hat at unemployment.
All this is to say, I got two rejections today which have sent me spiralling deep into the "I suck at life, am worthless, and no one will ever hire me" hole. It's not a good hole, people. These particular two rejections I think were more than acutely painful because they were
a) jobs I wanted. For obvious reasons, it hurts more.
b) the rejections were prior to them even meeting me. For some reason I find it hurts less post interview then pre-interview.
c) I was actually proud of the applications. I was qualified. They were in social media and online community building.
But apparently that isn't enough, which is really to say that I'm not enough.
To add to this feeling of complete and utter uselessness, there has not been a single job to apply for in the last two weeks.
So here I am, at 10 pm - which if you know me at all you know that is seriously past my bedtime by several hours - decidedly not sleeping because I'm too busy being a crazy worrier.
Man, did anyone out there miss these angst filled unemployment posts? Anyone? No, me either.
As an aside, last night Inspector Climate sat up in bed and swept his hands over the covers anxiously. Then he jumped out of bed and stood next to it staring at the ground for a moment. When I asked him what he was doing he mumbled incoherently - but I thought between mumbles he said "there's a mouse!" - and then turned the light on to rummage under the bed. I asked him again what he was doing and he just said "Grrr, I swear this time that something was there." This morning when I asked him if he remembered his little night time excursion he told me that he didn't think there was a mouse on the bed, he thought there was a baby octopus.
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