So...remember when a few weeks ago I was feeling super anxious about a job interview? To recap, the job was only for four months, it was a 24/7 commitment where I'd be working full time + nights and weekends. And I'd have to cancel my trip home to see my family, which has recently gotten more important to me as my grandfather is likely to pass away within the next 2-3 weeks.
A week and a half went by before they contacted me and then they offered me the job. OFFERED ME THE JOB. I may be wrong, but I think upon being offered a job the first reaction shouldn't be sobbing. I cried all of Saturday afternoon.
Who am I to turn down work when offers aren't flooding in? Who am I to say no to something that will beef up my resume and be great experience? Who am I?
Inspector Climate and I talked about it for hours. We made pros and cons lists, we agonised over whether the state of my mental health could handle such stress, we asked ourselves if we'd be ok postponing the trip home. I asked myself if I thought I'd regret missing this opportunity - you know what they say "you can only regret what you don't do." We asked if how I'd feel if August comes along and I'm still not employed. We obsessed.
But in the end, we decided that no, my mental health couldn't handle that much stress and no, I would be devastated if I missed my trip home, and that no, I would not accept this job.
I promised myself awhile ago that I would not settle for just any job, but only the happy job. However, actually having to make good on that promise was far more difficult than I thought it would be. But I like to think of this as the brave choice, if not the conventional one. Bravery is so often used to describe things like bungee jumping, sky diving, or other feats of endurance. I'm choosing to trust myself. I'm choosing happy.