Friday, May 31, 2013

Nagging is a two way street

One of the best things about everyone else (and it does seems like everyone else - am I right?) doing blog every day in May is that I've found a lot of new blogs. Like a lot of new blogs. One of my new (to me) favourites is Christina from The Murrayed Life and she asked her husband what her worst quality is and he said "nagging". I commented back that nagging is a two way street (we're thinking of making t-shirts, who wants one?).

It's quite the cliche isn't it, the nagging wife and the husband who just doesn't do it. My best friend Anne and I recently had this discussion as well. We don't want to nag! It's not a barrel of laughs, boys (boys? are there any here?). I like to think I don't nag Inspector Climate about things too much but there a couple of examples that come to mind about times I've nagged and it's turned out to be things he loves now.

1. Buying organic/locally grown food. Inspector Climate used to shop exclusively at the StupidMarket. I'd nudge at him to buy the organic bananas and he'd roll his eyes and get a little annoyed. It wasn't the cost that put him off, it was just the idea of having to pay attention to what he is putting in his basket.

Now, he rejoices in weeks we don't have to go to the Stupid Market at all, and reads books about organic food.

2. Reading aloud. I mentioned this before. But for about six months I asked Inspector Climate if he thought it would be nice if I read aloud to him while he did the dishes and he had so many reservations! What if he couldn't hear me? What books could we possibly read? THAT SOUNDS LAME. People will judge us (people do think it is weird, and I don't really understand why...maybe it's too cutesy? I don't know)

Now, he loves it. It's become our favourite part of the day and has increased the amount of reading we do.  Plus we have extra things to laugh about and talk about because we're reading the same book at the same time.

I get why I do the nagging, I want him to try something new. But why does he (and by he, I mean males in general) resist the doing? If he hated the reading aloud, we wouldn't have kept doing it! If he had a reason for not liking organic food (we wouldn't have gotten married), then you know...whatever.

I mean, I understand why nagging is annoying, but can't we all work together. The 'nagging wife' is a cliche for a reason, but so is the 'stubborn and lazy husband' (Inspector Climate is anything but lazy). Let's stop the shenanigans.

Nagging is a two way street, my friend.

Then I asked Inspector Climate what my worst trait was and he paused and didn't want to say anything so I began to offer some examples up. He settled on the fact that I will refuse to pack food for myself and then I'll get starving, super grouchy, and generally unpleasant to be around. Lucky, lucky man.


  1. So very true! And as far as reading aloud to one another...I think it is fantastic! My hubs and I used to do that before kids...I miss those days! But now our moments are filled with reading aloud to the beans! Life is good and so is organic!!!

  2. I so agree, especially if it's just a little thing that takes virtually no time or effort to do, like putting my delicate underwear in a laundry bag before throwing it in the machine. It takes 1 minute! I'm not asking to be difficult! There's a good reason for it! I'd rather just do the laundry myself so I don't have to nag.

    Really though, why can't they just do something because it's important to us and we asked nicely? That's reason enough.

    I once asked a boyfriend years to name my most annoying trait and he said my habit of pointing out spelling and grammatical errors. I suspect he was being very diplomatic.

  3. i don't like nagging either and rarely do it unless i'm in a pissy mood like i'm pmsing (then everything annoys me and i explode). i'm glad that my husband doesn't nag me either; there's a box he asked me to look through 3 wks ago and it's still sitting there!

  4. Oh..its there..the nagging. A constant sense of being there..I suppose. I think we are both used to it. And expect it from each other. The good thing is..knowing the degree we can take. Unfortunately, I don't think anything every gets done any quicker because of it.

    I think reading to each other can be sexy and very fun.

  5. Put me down for a T shirt! I'll get one for the man as well, just to remind him:)

  6. I'll take a t-shirt as well.

    I think the reading aloud to him thing is adorable, not lame!

    I try not to be naggy, but sometimes Max needs reminders to do stuff. And by sometimes, I mean all the time. He says that I'm always "critiquing" him which I guess is the French word for nagging, but he doesn't see that I'm just trying to make him more responsible and aware of everything he's doing wrong!! lol

  7. A tshirt with that would look awesome :D

    I think it's okay to nag sometimes. Sometimes.

  8. I always say I wouldn't nag if you didn't make me. So basically this whole post is correct :)

  9. Reading aloud does sound like a great activity and bonding time together. Reading the same book at the same time and discussing the story is very interesting in fact.

  10. Interesting take on nagging, I do think it goes both ways. I'm glad your "nagging" has caused some cool things like reading aloud at your house.

  11. nice photos!

    join to the giveaway on:

  12. Ahmmm... nagging may be a woman's thing
    but the men provoke us too.

    I think I'm not into reading aloud thing
    I love the time I spend reading books on my own
    I can feel and imagine better when I'm the one reading.

    1. I read to myself too. It isn't the only reading we do. It's just when IC is doing the dishes that I read aloud.

  13. Yes it's definitely a two-way street. It's all about compromise - the key to a healthy relationship. I hope you have a great weekend!

  14. Hi, I came over from Crystal's blog. I've been reading your blog for while now but have never commented.

    When I was growing up my Mom always nagged my father. I swore I would never grow up to become a nagger...

    Yes, famous last words. I did grow up to become a nagger. It's just that my husband is so lost sometimes (I think it's because he's an absent-minded scientist) that he needs me to "guide him". So I actually don't "nag". Well, that's what I tell myself...

  15. Nagging...

    I really don't think I nag. But my bf says I do. When I asked him what I nag about, he says "All women nag".


    XO Lourdes

  16. I've enjoyed looking at your blog. Check out SunShine PenPals and join the fun! We'd love to have you!

  17. Great topic and well executed dear! I think to some extent all women are sadly considered as nags, its just something we are known for along with our ability to juggle a million things in the air ;)

  18. I am totally having to nag my husband right now about buying local/organic... he just won't listen or try to understand why it's worth the extra money!

    And I think the reading aloud thing is so freaking cute, I love it so much. I really want to get my husband on board with that, too.

    Sarah @ Life As Always

  19. you're so right me always say that we nag way too much but I think that it's our own way to express how we feel and what we don't like, I feel like men need to communicate more sometimes, a lot of them just shut down when faced with difficulties, they should try nagging, it'll do them good! :D

  20. I feel like it's my way of taking care of Izzy. I don't mean to NAG but I want what's best for him. Oh lord. I need to step off lol.

  21. Back when we had dueling offices and a much smaller living space, the hubs and I would read things to each other from across our desks. Now we have more space, and separate offices, but I do sometimes miss that time together.

  22. Hi Deidre! I thought I may have commented on this already, but maybe I never clicked "publish". In any case, sign me up for a t-shirt. Really enjoyed reading this last week and then again right now.

    I love my man, and he is wonderful, but he certainly isn't immune from this. Don't you think it's weird that our hubbies don't want us to nag and act like their moms when they provoke us, yet they are all such babies and demand that we "mommy them" when they aren't feeling well (aka 'man sick'?).

    I think you can print an additional t-shirt,"Let's stop the shenanigans." Hilarious!

  23. I couldn't stop giggling to myself while reading this post....I thought I was the only one who nagged lol reading together really sounds fun :)

  24. Hmm, I hadn't thought about nagging like this. I do like the idea of reading aloud, actually. I've been with the man for almost 7 years and we're still figuring it all out :)

  25. You're so right - I hate nagging but I get the reason why it's done. It's really cute that you read out loud to each other. I had tried that in a relationship once and it didn't really catch on. :/

  26. Nagging is a good word for it, sounds better than the other word we could call it! I never thought of it in this way. though....and I like your thinking!
    Thanks for stopping by my blog, and for the well-wishes with Baby!!! I have another appointment today, and it's my last day of school for the summer, so I hope to get some more frequent updates up there!

  27. I definitely think that the responsibility of nagging falls a little bit on both partners. But, for me, I also have to make sure I think logically about it and get into the right mindset. I want my husband to exercise and eat healthy. He knows I want that, and I'm pretty sure he also wants to be healthy. But if I go around and say, "Are you sure you should be eating that?" every time he takes a piece of chocolate pie--I'm just going to steal some of the joy from his life. So for me, with nagging--when I want something, if I know that he already knows what I want, I just need to trust my husband to make good choices for himself and not be constantly reminding him of what I wan.

  28. The main thing I nag about (and yes I hate doing it) is my husband doing the dishes. I might just try the reading aloud idea as it might make the whole process more enjoyable for both of us!