This was back when I dabbled in Internet Dating...and then this happened. Remember, I had never met this person...Enjoy.
So, I've dived back into the dating site with a vengeance. And there has been a guy (Persistent Guy [PG]), who every time I talked to him he asked me out a date. Which was a nice change from a certain slurpee connoisseur that we all know
I get there at 715, because I am perpetually early, and I wait.
735...I wait. I see a pirate dressed as a colonel. Followed by Einstein.
745...I wait. An old man starts shouting "THOSE WERE THE KEATING YEARS. THE LYING KEATING YEARS" and then walks off.
750...I wait. I know what you're thinking, why didn't you call him? I HATE THE PHONE, PEOPLE.
8...I finally text him, "Um, PG? you close by?"
805...He calls me. "Who is this" he says.
Me: YOU CALLED ME. But it's D.
Him: Can you prove that?
Me: Um, no, but it's me.
Him: Where are you?
Me: At the Designated Spot, where are you?
Him: Can you give the phone to some one there to prove that you're there?
Me: Um, no.
Him: Well, how do I know you're there.
Me (getting distressed and creeped out): WHY WOULD I LIE?
Him: Seriously, can't you just talk to someone who works at The Designated Spot give them the phone and prove it. Because it doesn't SOUND like you're at The Designated Spot.
Me: You know what? Goodbye.
I hung up and walked to the tram stop. He calls again. And I answer, because....???
Him: Look, I just need to make sure you're not my stalker...
Me: is she American? Because this is the only accent I got.
Me: Than it isn't me!
Him: Where are you now?
Me: I am about to get on the tram to go home...
Him: It doesn't sound like you're at the tram stop.
Me: You're really freaking me out, and I am going home. Goodbye.
He calls me 10 more times and leaves two messages and I ignore each one. I finally check my voice mail and he has put my name down for the wrong number in his phone and so when he called that person they were clearly nonplussed by his questioning about this so called date. A semi-honest mistake.
He calls again (living up to his name...), I answer. Why? You ask. WHY? Well, to be honest, I thought I was going to tell him off. I thought I was going to say, "YOU BLEW IT DUFUS."
So he starts apologising. He starts grovelling. He is so sorry. He says "I acted like a dickhead" and I, uncharacteristically say, "you WERE a dickhead." He says, "babe [and I vomit in my mouth], I am so sorry. Don't go home come out with me. Please, let me make this up to you. Please. Please? I owe you dinner. I am so sorry." I say, "Don't you see it as a problem that you haven't even met me yet and don't trust me?"
This is why you don't date people from the internet, internets.
Needless to say, I ended up never meeting PG. And thank goodness, this one story is enough to last me a life time of PG drama.