Friday, January 10, 2014

After 360 days of applying for jobs. 10 job interviews and 2 job offers I'm starting work this week. In fact by the time you read this I'll have worked my first full week of full time work. But now as I'm writing this on a Saturday afternoon while watching the tennis, I'm....scared.

It took me a few hours to figure it out. I suddenly was getting very grouchy and had to go lie down while making my lunch because I couldn't deal with finding a worm in my broccolini (I'm not melodramatic at all!). Then, after having two spiders crawl on me today, I decided I desperately needed a shower and that's when it hit me...I'm scared.

Already I feel better knowing that this malaise has a name. I also couldn't face the broccolini again and it had to go back to the fridge to be dealt with another day. Somedays are just not meant for picking out teeny worms out of your food, you know?

Being nervous about New and Change is perfectly normal (did anyone else have that children's book? About puberty with EXTREMELY graphic photographs of the changes that happen to our bodies? Or did my mom somehow find the ONLY copy of that book?).

When I start new things I always wonder "will walking up these stairs ever feel familiar?" (there seem to be always stairs) and "how long until I feel like I know what I'm doing"....basically what I wrote here.

But the stairs do become familiar and eventually I will know what I'm doing. I'm sure there will be aspects of my job I don't like, and I'm sure at times I'll feel in need of replenishing my well of SST (you didn't click the link did you? Go click the link). But I'm so grateful to be starting a new year with a new job that pays real money, I'm grateful for the butterflies in my stomach and the fear that is making me grouchy today. I'm grateful for it all.

19 comments:

  1. I knew there was a reason I don't eat broccoli!! :)

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  2. I almost couldn't get past the 'worm in the broccolini' business. Eeh.

    And I know they say fear can be a good thing, but it always seems a bit wretched. As does starting a new job. But you're right, it will become familiar. Here's hoping you're something of a prodigy!

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  3. Oh I do hope that your first week went well. I still like saying it's the beginning of a new adventure. Or quest. It gives it an air of intrigue as well :)

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  4. Congrats on your new job after such a long job hunt. Well done on your perseverance! And don't you stress, it's all going to be okay.

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  5. Congrats on your new job after such a long job hunt. Well done on your perseverance! And don't you stress, it's all going to be okay.

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  6. PS: The bit about spiders (ack!) made me shiver and squirm... HATE them!

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  7. Good luck, D! Hope you've had a really good first week (nerves and all -- that's what transition brings!) and you're enjoying your weekend!

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  8. Everybody does start somewhere. It is always so unnerving starting a new job. I know that when it's someone's first day at the job I work at- I do everything to help that person feel comfortable. I never forget that feeling of being new! I'm sure you had a great week.. and you're already starting to feel less new!

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  9. You're going to do great! Just be calm and yourself!

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  10. YAY!! congrats on your first full week of work. how do you like it?

    -kathy
    Vodka and Soda

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  11. I know how you feel! I'm terrified of change in general and new jobs in particular. It's absolutely terrible for me to face a new job. Just try to keep reminding yourself that you are smart, capable and they hired you for a reason. You will get the hang of everything and a year from now you will wonder why you were so nervous. Deep breath. it will be okay. I'm pulling for ya!!!

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  12. Oh WOW D, that's so amazing! Congrats! Going through a similar struggle, I can identify with everything you say. The fear comes from the time spent looking for that job... because the longer you're unemployed, the more it chips away at your self-confidence.

    But then there is also "the new"... until it becomes not-so-new and then the fear dissipates. Wishing you all the best with this new job and for 2014!

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  13. Deidre....
    Anxiety creeps up on us when we least expect it to. You know. I think that, although you're excited about this new job, it IS perfectly normal to feel scared. ;)
    And. As far as this new job is concerned? You are going to rock it, Friend!! ;-D
    --Raelyn
    PS. I am terrified of spiders!! Worms on the other hand? As a kid, I used to pick them up off of hot Summer sidewalks and find some dirt!! Because I am an oddball!! But I was a worm rescuer!! {And still am, actually!!} ;)


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  14. i love this!! i am so excited for you, it's normal to feel anxious but just focus on how you're excited too! :) XO

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  15. Hope your first week went well!! Though I guess I'm a little confused as to whether you wrote this last week or next week is your first week? If it's next week, then good luck!! I haven't gone to work in years (besides babysitting which I still do often) but I'm sure when that time comes I will be a bundle of nerves. It's scary! But you do learn and they hired you for a reason and you will rock it in the end. :)

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  16. Congrats on the new job! I remember hyperventilating inside the washroom every now and then during my first week especially when I'm handed tasks I have never done before. Each week gets better and the next thing you know, tasks and days become easy peasy. Someone told me on the blog before to enjoy the first few months of anxiety and excitement. It was a great advice and wishing you the same.

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  17. That's so awesome..here's to this year being the best one yet!! Congrats!

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  18. I hope you had a wonderful first week, and that the 2nd is off to an excellent start! Also, I am going to borrow SST as necessary. I love that so much.

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  19. It does not matter the circumstances, finding bugs in food is always a teeny bit ucky. But yes... the anxiety thing. I've been feeling it a lot, now that the news about the job change has sunk in. But we're in this together, and it's going to get better!

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