We talk about it a lot. It's the answer to my 'I want a puppy now' and Inspector Climate says 'someday, when we have a house in Tassie.'
But when I start thinking of life beyond the house in Tassie that's when things start getting ... unsettling. My parents are getting old, they live on a big property in the United States and I love their house and farm. I used to tell people that when I grew up I was going to kick my parents out of their house and live there instead.
And the truth is. I would. I really would. But there are no jobs where my parents live. So I can never really reconcile how we could possibly live there. But I would like to go and help my parents out when the time comes that they can't take care of the farm on their own.
The other unreconcilable part of the equation is once we buy a house in Tasmania (ok, ok...IF we buy a house in Tasmania) and we get the puppy, the kitty, the garden and the chooks how can we just up and leave it? We maybe could rent it out and then go live in the US – could we take the animals? But if I live in my parents' place could I ever leave it to come back to our house here in Australia? WHY AREN'T THERE ANY ANSWERS, LIFE?
I work myself up into a state of panic about this about once a year. I end up sitting up in bed sobbing unable to conceive of any possible solutions and Inspector Climate rubs my back and asks me repeatedly if I want a hankie. Which 'No I don't ok. I feel miserable and I want the full snot filled miserable experience, thank you very much'. (Ahem, my yearly panic may have happened last night and is feeling particular fresh in my mind).
The rest of the time, I'm able to compartmentalise that feeling of panic into 'future Decoybetty's problem'. The future is adventure, it'll be fine – just stop thinking about it. STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. No, really. Stop it.
Inspector Climate is about six months away from finishing his PhD. AND he just had a job interview for job in Tasmania. Which is like the most exciting thing EVER. I asked my work place if there was any possibility that I could transfer to Tasmania and they said 'why yes, that is possible, hypothetically.' By Christmas I could be getting the best present in all the land... A KITTEN and a PUPPY.
So what exactly happens when that future you've been planning for, pining for, working toward starts to solidify and becomes well, reality?
I don't know. But the good news is maybe I'll finally have something to blog about!
How are you?